I recently had the privilege of delivering the keynote speech at two different Veterans Day events on successive evenings. While they were two very different audiences, my message was largely the same for both, with a few variations due to the nuances of each group.  In each, though, I spoke about the character and heart of leadership.  

While I’ve shared some similar examples before, I have come to appreciate and see with more clarity that while certain people came in and out of my life, it wasn’t simply the character of their leadership but the fundamental character of their heart that I now recognize most influenced me.  

Still in the shadow of Veterans Day, let me acknowledge all of the veterans who might be reading this right now and thank you for your service to our country. Whether you served one day, one year, or an entire career, many of you made the conscious decision to volunteer your life – and many ways the lives of your families – to be part of something greater than yourself.  You should be proud of that, and appreciated every day, not just on November 11^th.   

All who wear the uniform are pulled into service by some force, be it voluntary or compulsory.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I suspect I was at least in part drawn to military service by roots going back the revolutionary war, well documented in the four genealogy volumes my dad has published.  They include:

Two WWII veteran uncles; one a soldier wounded in battle while serving in 1944 Italy, the other a sailor whose teenage son would tragically drown some 25 years later on his senior trip, never to attend one of the threemilitary academies he had been accepted to.  My cousin John no doubt would have served proudly and with distinction, just like his father.  Two uncles on the other side of my family, both still living in my area; one a Korean War veteran and the other a retired senior enlisted soldier.  My dad a National Guard veteran; my older brother and my son, both Air Force veterans like me. 

I was blessed with a very long and fulfilling military career that started in 1986.  I can honestly say that through everything, I always tried hard to be the very best I could be at every level with no expectation or sense of entitlement to go to the next.  I never forgot where I came from, how average I really am, and the importance of hard work.  I also learned to recognize that having your head in the game is important, but it is even more important to attend the ‘heart’.  

In his book The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, Hans Finzel says influencing others is the heart of leadership; that the greatest impact on us as individuals comes from direct interaction with other individuals.  It’s true!  I never forgot the lessons I learned from a few exceptional leaders who had their head and their heart in the right place.  Four leaders, in particular, through their words and actions at just the right times in my life, revealed to me the character of their heart and their concern for mine.  That is the heart of leadership.   

Here’s some of what I learned from these four men.  

When insecure and publicly embarrassed, I learned from a Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force that the defusing properties of humor and gratitude are powerful encouragement.  

When tempted to think I was kind of a big deal, I learned from a previously feared senior enlisted leader that humility and forgiveness are two of the most respectable attributes a leader (or anyone for that matter) can have.    

When dealt what seemed like a crushing blow to my career, I learned from a friend, mentor and beloved leader that failure does not define me, and well-timed encouragement and persistence can make a huge difference in a person’s life.

When cavalierly demeaned in front of others by an egomaniacal former adjutant general, I learned from a different flag officer that there is dignity, honor, and respect in standing up for others…even when the person you’re defending is a stranger.  

There is nobility, strength and courage expected of those who wear the uniform and we owe veterans our gratitude, support, and recognition that not all scars are visible on the outside.

But those attributes aren’t exclusive to those who serve.  When I look back over my life and career, it’s the people who influenced me and those I have influenced that I think of most – whether they wore a uniform or not.  

The head is important, but the heart is the wellspring of life.  That’s the heart of leadership. 

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong. 

Finzel, Hans. (2000). The top ten mistakes leaders make.  Colorado Springs, CO: Nexgen.