New Beginnings

“Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.” – Ecclesiastes 11.7

As last year closes, many of us will use the breaking of this new one to try to leave disappointments, failures, unrealized goals, and pain behind.  We breach the new almanac with renewed optimism, commitment, and focus.  Likely today, we are all-in for a new beginning. 

While we may start off the New Year fired up with ‘guns-a-blazin’, the reality is that ‘resolution’ will be little more than cliché as a large majority of us will lose focus and fall back into the demotivation, destructive habits, thinking traps, or emotional constipation/diarrhea (each equally unpleasant!) within a few weeks.  

So what’s the answer?  Heck, I don’t know.  If I had a nickel for every time some so-called expert, ‘life-coach’, or fitness guru whose only job is to work out all day told me all I had to do is…[fill in the blank], I’d be rich.  Take it from an average-at-best schmo who does have a day job; can’t be in the gym all day and wouldn’t get paid to be even if he could be there all day; isn’t in this for money, fame, or his own talk show; is admittedly simple-minded and really just wants to help.  There’s much to learn from other people’s mistakes and life experiences, and I think we can help each other get and stay motivated. 

I need plenty of help, myself.  If you’ve read my previous articles or checked out the Home, About Beyond Strength, and About the Author links on the website, you’ll understand this is as much about working on myself as it is helping others.  I also know from decades of investigating violent crimes, playing & coaching sports, and serving in the military that success is a team sport.  In fact, I have an entire speech queued at any given time on the importance of teamwork.  I’ll spare you that narrative here, but as someone who’s about as messed up and needy as anyone out there, I’m confident we can help each other get beyond some things, get over ourselves, and get on with our lives in the New Year.     

Physical wellness:

Be consistent, no matter your current level of physical fitness.  If you need to start somewhere, start small.  Build your consistency by creating a habit.  If you’re just getting started or restarted, commit to just walking 15-20 minutes two or three times a week.  Treadmill, indoors, or outdoors are all fine.  Walk at a pace that is more than lollygagging but less than a jog.  In other words, maintain a pace that requires some effort and elevates your heart rate a bit.  On a treadmill, I expect on average that’s somewhere between 2.5 and 4 mph.  As you begin to feel better, healthier, and more energetic, add time or distance.  Stretching and yoga are also great ways to get more active. 

If you are already well-along or more advanced physically, renew your commitment…and stick to it.  I have found success getting up 45 minutes earlier than normal and knocking it out in the morning.  It’s too easy to get distracted or exhausted after a long day and end up blowing it off.  

For ideas on fitness training, the internet is plentiful.  There’s a great article on the Air Force Marathon website about slowing down to avoid strain and build your endurance engine.  Or feel free to visit the Fitness & Workouts link on my website for ideas, read my previous article On Fitness, or email me.

Emotional/Spiritual wellness:

Again, be consistent.  Avoid the desire to be constantly ‘plugged-in’.  Rest, quiet your mind, take walks in nature, laugh, pray, read, forgive (others & yourself).  For some book ideas, see my recommended reading list. 

Vocational wellness:

Commit to doing your best every day.  That doesn’t include comparing yourself to others, gossiping about coworkers, participating in (or creating) an office drama club.  It simply means ending each day confident that you gave your best effort.  You don’t ever have to be the most highly educated or talented person to be happy, contribute, or make a difference.  Here’s a list one of my good friends and mentors shared during a 2016 command senior enlisted conference.  I’ve seen other variations of it, and I’ve added a few points of my own.  

Things that require zero talent:

Being on time; work ethic; effort; energy; passion; coachability; being prepared; doing more than expected; gratitude; attitude; respect; compassion.

My goals this year include what’s above, as well as reaching more people, hearing from more people, loving more people, helping more people.  I hope you have a plan for the New Year, as well.  And that it includes making yourself and the world a little better each day. 

“A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others.  Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” – David Jeremiah

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

Happy New Year!

Ensure Your Self-Care Routine Is Balanced by Including a Fitness Plan

(Article by guest contributor Sheila Olson of fitsheila.com – Image courtesy of Pixabay)

People talk a lot about self-care these days, but many of us neglect keeping things in balance.  Participating in a healthy self-care regimen includes more than pampering.  It means taking action to meet your mental and physical needs in a manner that helps you prosper.

What is self-care?  Many people feel self-care can be as simple as getting a monthly facial or buying anew pair of slippers.  While those could be parts of someone’s plan, a self-care program should include activities that promote overall wellness.  There should be balance and attention to basics. Ideally, your program will include good nutrition, sufficient sleep, time with friends and regular exercise. 

Getting fit.  Is exercise part of your self-care routine? Beginning a fitness plan can be overwhelming, but the key is to have realistic goals.  Verywell Fit suggests starting with a walking program.  You just need a pair of comfortable shoes and a safe place to walk, and it’s an easy activity on your joints and muscles.  Even though it’s simple, you can still make great progress.  Talk to your doctor before you start, especially if you have been sedentary for a long period of time.   

How much should I exercise?  Sometimes we think exercise should be all or nothing, especially if we can’t see immediate results.  However, slow and steady progress can help prevent injury and make your program more enjoyable.  Some experts suggest an exercise regimen including a minimum of 2.5 hours doing moderate aerobic activity per week, along with a couple strength-building sessions. 

Recover and refresh.  To keep things balanced, your fitness routine should include recovery time.  For instance, an occasional at-home spa day refreshes and rests your body after focusing on getting in shape.  You can use homemade, soothing skincare treatments and masks, give yourself a hot rock massage, brew a cup of your favorite tea and play relaxing music.  Keep the space uncluttered and free of distractions.  A day here and there in your personal spa can help you to maintain a positive outlook and feel good about yourself.  Try participating in some mindfulness while you’re at it, increasing your awareness of what your senses perceive. Mindfulness encourages relaxation and focus. 

Limitations and boundaries.  Do you burn the candle at both ends, or is your job situation setting you up for burnout? You might feel like you simply haven’t the time or energy to workout.  Psychology Today recommends keeping things in check as part of your basic self-care plan.  Find ways to decompress throughout your day, not just occasionally in the evening or on the weekend.  Try taking a walk, meditating, or sitting outside in green space. 

Also consider revamping your work environment, if necessary.  Maybe you’re situated under fluorescent lights all day, and you could benefit with a window view.  Or perhaps you’re working unsustainable hours, and switching your schedule around could help you become more productive and effective. Oftentimes management is unaware of problems unless those issues are brought to their attention.  Talk with your supervisor about how to make improvements, and for the best results be prepared with suggestions rather than just complaining about what isn’t working. 

Energy and attitude.  Having the energy to properly balance yourself-care plan is crucial. One of the often-overlooked aspects of a healthful and energetic lifestyle is getting sufficient sleep.  Without enough sleep, you can damage your mental and physical health, even risking chronic fatigue and burnout.  You can lose vitality, become irritable and even shorten your lifespan.  Schedule a bedtime and wake time for every day and stick to those times.  Keep your exercise routine in the morning or early afternoon, ensure your sleeping environment is comfortable and avoid napping during the day.

Balance your routine so you can feel happy, positive and fulfilled.  Adjust the priorities in your lifestyle so you include fitness.  Ensuring you meet the needs of your mind, body and soul is the key to an overall healthy self-care program.

Preparing for Mistakes

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Martin Fanbee is quoted by then Colonel David L. Goldfein in his book Sharing Success Owning Failure as saying “Learn from the mistakes of others.  You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”  I’m making more than my fair share…so you’re welcome.

Mistakes are not only the result of weakness and poor decisions, but also the result of failing to prepare.  I left off last time talking about being prepared, as well as the consequences of being unprepared.  Our failure to prepare often results in discomfort at best and utter chaos, disaster, or severe heartache at worst.

Thanks to a televised Janet Jackson incident some years ago, I now know the proper terminology for my many embarrassing clothing mishaps.  On the ‘discomfort’ end, being unprepared for wardrobe malfunctions has resulted in my tie in the toilet while pulling up my pants, a favorite tie in the shredder while still attached to my neck, and not having any tie at a black-tie affair.  Toward the other extreme, being unprepared to raise children resulted in many missteps, mistakes, and missed opportunities; and the realization I probably should have waited until age 50 to have them.  Of course, I never would have won an arm-wrestling match if that were the case.

I have spent nearly my entire life preparing my body to withstand a career in the profession of arms, to be functionally fit, and to feel good about the way I look when I pass by a full-length mirror naked.  I have likewise tried to prepare my mind for critical thinking and vocational success by gaining wisdom and knowledge.  And I have spent a good deal of time helping others do likewise.  But despite all that, I remain insecure and emotionally unprepared in many ways.  These weaknesses sometimes lead to carelessly being drawn into situations I know better to avoid.

Similar to preparing for cold weather by wearing bread bags in your boots, string mittens, and so many layers of winter clothes that there would be little need for side-impact airbags in your car, maybe preparing for life involves putting on a few things.  Things like armor…literally and metaphorically; physically and emotionally.

Literature convinces us that in medieval times, knights were powerful symbols of bravery and nobility.  But a knight wasn’t a knight overnight.  It took years of training, learning, and preparation.  The page learned from the squire, who learned from the knight.  The knight prepared and affirmed his commitment to knighthood by learning and living chivalrous knighthood ideals such as being brave in battle; loyal to God and King; willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. And to be merciful, humble, courteous, gracious, and gentle.  I read somewhere that ‘not all knights were great men, but all great men were knights!’

Armor provides a great metaphor for the importance of preparation…even better than your mom’s recommendation of always wearing clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.  There’s perhaps no better rendering than that of Apostle Paul in the sixth chapter of Ephesians when it comes to preparing for life.  He used the battle dress of the Roman soldier as his object lesson, but we can relate in the same way to today’s law enforcement officer or military fighter.

It begins with being ready to stand firm under pressure (also mentioned in a previous article).  It is followed by donning the proper equipment (or pieces of armor), each one serving a literal protective purpose and metaphorically representing spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical protections.  The first is the ‘belt of truth’; used by the soldier to mount weapons, secure garments, and protect or ‘gird’ the loins and lower body.  We all have secrets in dark places we never want revealed.  But spiritual truth is needed in a dark world.  “In the long run, it matters little what others say or think; it matters a great deal whether or not truth stands.” – Wendell L. Miller

The next few pieces are the breastplate (body armor), protective footwear (practical to the situation), the shield, and the helmet (headgear).  Each one representing a facet of spiritual faith and practical physical use…and each defensive in nature.  The last piece Paul cites happens also to be the only offensive piece of equipment – the sword (duty weapon).

We could go much deeper here, but I’m sure you get the picture.  Sure, you visualized them at least once through all that looking exhausted from battle and caked with dust and dripping with sweat, blood and tears.  But think of them all cleaned up, standing tall and proud, crisp and ready for inspection.  There’s nothing like a man or woman in uniform.  They look pretty damn good, right?!  A regular knight in shining armor…

But beware, trusted caballeros.  When one puts on all that shiny armor, there may be a certain visual appeal that draws attention that may become a stumbling block for the weak or unprepared.  If you are prepared for random notes on your car, impromptu show-ups, and terms of endearment like ‘Muffin Tushy’ or ‘Applesauce’, then not to worry.  If you’re not, I guess you’re more like I’ve been much of my life than you care to be and we’re back to paragraphs one through four.

I am my greatest adversary.  I need to prepare better.  I need the Armor of God.

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

Goldfein, D. L. (2001). Sharing success owning failure-preparing to command in the twenty-first century Air Force. Maxwell AFB, AL: Air University Press.

 

 

 

Seasons of Change

As colder weather rolls into Michigan, I am reminded how much I dislike it. But it occurs to me that I haven’t always disliked it. In fact, I’m pretty sure I used to love playing in the snow and staying out in the cold until my extremities were numb and snotsicles bridged the gap between my nostrils and upper lip.  And it wasn’t too long ago that I remember poking fun at my dad and other ‘old people’ because of their intolerance of the cold and propensity to leave us all behind as they fled south for months at a time.  Deep down I’m sure it was just envy…for not having the freedom myself to disappear to the land of milk and honey (or is it Geritol and ginger-ale?) for months at a time.  And although I don’t see him nearly as often as I should in the months he’s nearby, the bigger reason for my deflections-disguised-as-harassment-about-the-weather is simply that I miss him while he’s so far away.  Perhaps a little reluctant to admit I am starting share his disdain for the cold, too.

It’s true…as if right on schedule to reinforce the irony of it all, I am finding the older I get, the less I care for the cold.  And the more I’m saddened to say that I, too, may soon appreciate the simplicity of Velcro shoes and the golf cart as a primary mode of transit.  So as I try to do in other areas of my life (at least better than I used to), I am taking a hard look at why I have done things, why I do things, or why I feel the way I do about certain things.  Nature’s changing season is just the latest timely reminder of my own changing nature.

In the Midwest, the thick heat of summer gives way to the crispness of autumn air.  It blesses us with the splendor of colorful leaves, tastes of cider, and the smell of pumpkin spice.  Another blessing of this change in season is the transition itself.  Not only does the transition prepare the environment for the harshness of winter, it similarly prepares us by moving our bodies from dramatic heat to bitter cold by gradual acclimation as we pass through a milder autumn.

So what’s the problem?  With that reasoning I should have no problem acclimating to the biting wind, cold, snow, and other extremes of winter.  I think one the things it boils down to is preparation; wearing the right clothes the right way, having the right equipment and resources, and having the right attitude.  I have concluded that when facing extremes – whether in life, temporary circumstances, or environment – an increase in discomfort often involves a decrease in (or lack of) preparation.

Consider this.  If you grew up in a ‘four-season’ part of the world, you probably had a mom, dad, grandparent or other adult who bundled you up like the Michelin Man before going out in the cold, making you virtually impervious to the elements.  I remember everything from the mittens attached by a string running from one sleeve to another, to wearing bread bags on my feet inside my boots to keep my feet toasty and dry (personally I think my mom was conducting some early study in the greenhouse effect with those bags).  But those things worked.  Buttoned up, zipped up, no exposed skin.  Hats, mittens, scarfs, the right coat, pants, socks, boots, and long underwear.  You could stay out for hours and not be bothered by the coldest of days.  Even now, when I actually wear appropriate clothing and accessories for the conditions, the weather really doesn’t bother me so much.

The problem is I usually don’t.  I don’t prepare properly.  I don’t wear the nice warm stocking cap because it will mess up my hair.  I don’t wear the thick socks and warm boots because they’re cumbersome, uncomfortable, and it’s just a pain to change into other shoes when I get to my destination.  I seldom wear gloves, scarf, or even zip my coat up.  Is it any wonder I have started to dislike cold weather?  I should either dress for the weather or stop complaining about it.  And while I think there are a few other lessons we can take from this, I want to keep this at a reasonable length, respecting your time and attention.  So with the assurance to continue this subject in a second part soon to come, let me wrap up with these points.

In the same way the changing seasons prepare us for more extreme conditions yet to come, and properly outfitting ourselves prepares us for the extreme conditions we venture out into, properly preparing ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and socially can help us through some of the extreme conditions of life.

Until the next edition, prepare for the changing season by bundling up, wrapping up, zipping up, breaking out your bread bags, and above all never forgetting how much fun it was to be a child.  Keep that youthful spirit alive!

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3.1)

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

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Dave E.

Strength that Stands

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Stand fast is defined, in part, as to firmly remain in the same position or cease all action immediately.  I’ve heard it widely used in military life in a few contexts, the most common to me of waiting to move after a preparatory command was already given…sometimes seemingly as if to test the formation to see who’s going to be the one to flinch: “Flight, Attention!  Forward…Stand Fast!”  You don’t want to be the one who false starts and then fumbles around trying to reset as if no one noticed the ONLY body cavorting around in a sea of stalwarts.

For this article, the standing fast to which I refer is similar, but more akin to standing firm…in strength, power, resoluteness, faith; the kind of strength to carry on when it would be easier to just roll over.  It’s the kind of strength that when the whole world or the gallery of so-called experts, know-it-alls, or haters (as today’s generation might call them) tells you to just give up and get out of the way, you stand firm and say “No, you move…I’m not giving up…I’m strong…I’m a survivor…I’m a conqueror.”  Standing firm in this way takes a different kind of strength than we typically think of.

A recent quiet time illustrated two divergent types of strength – active and passive – that might help clarify my point.  As I thought through the author’s analogies and applied them to my own life, I began to appreciate the need for each at different times in our lives.  The author, Harold Cooke Phillips, said it better than I ever could, so I’ll let him handle this.

“Sometimes nothing is harder in life than just to endure.  There are two types of of strength.  There is the strength of the wind that sways the mighty oak, and there is the strength of the oak that withstands the power of the wind.  There is the strength of the locomotive that pulls the heavy train across the bridge, and there is the strength of the bridge that holds up the weight of the train.  One is active strength, the other is passive strength; one is the power to keep going, the other is the power to keep still; one the strength by which we overcome, the other is the strength by which we endure.”

Sixteen years ago, a healthy, active 13 year old attended his local county fair to watch the motocross races.  He left the fair in a helicopter, critically injured, unconscious, with a depressed skull fracture and his life would never be the same.

This young man is one of my nephews.  He and another spectator were struck by an out-of-control cycle that left the track.  When my dad’s call woke me in the middle of that July night and he told me what happened, he said things ‘didn’t look good’.  My nephew remained critical and comatose for weeks.  He was ultimately transferred to a renowned rehabilitation hospital where he eventually regained consciousness.

Through faith, prayers, amazing staff, rigorous physical and speech therapy, and his incredible resilience, he finally started to look at people, move his lips, and comprehend things again. He gradually improved, spending many months in a wheelchair, followed by a walker (neither of which he uses today).  Through God’s amazing healing power, tremendous medical care, his incredible strength, and the loving support of many, he eventually went home.  In June 2007, my nephew graduated with honors from high school and later from Michigan Career & Technical Institute.

The damage his brain suffered from the injury had lasting effects on his speech and his right extremities, but that doesn’t slow him down.  He’s a husband and father, and is as fun-loving and quick-witted as ever.  He is strong, hard-working, and an inspiration to me and many others because of the person he is and the example he sets with his huge smile and easy-going disposition.  Every chance he gets, he goes out of his way to text, call, or visit with friends and family.  While it was tough early on to see the impact this had on him and his family, I am so proud of the man he has become.  Some of the things I truly enjoy in life are the rare occasions to lock arms with him to help navigate a set of stairs or other challenging terrain, and being the recipient of the smiles, hugs,  and “I love you”s that he unashamedly doles out…the way more of us should.

My nephew’s life has been a case study in both the strength to endure and the strength to overcome mentioned above.  He continues to be one of the strongest people I know.

“The physical strength of a person must always be added to the strength of his or her soul and power for marshaling the resources of truth, righteousness, and love.” – J. Richard Spann

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

It is my honor to dedicate this article during National Disability Employment Awareness Month to him and all those who stand strong and persevere through their disabilities, setting an example for us all.

https://www.dol.gov/odep/topics/ndeam/index-2018.htm

Hunsberger, E. & Nygaard, N. (2002). Strength for service: daily devotional messages for those in the service of others updated edition. Franklin, TN: Providence House.