Motivation Monday
Least Bad Option
If you stumbled across this article assuming it’s about the election or the last six months of political idiocy, it’s not. It’s actually about attitude, motivation, and inspiration. But keep reading! I’m certain you’ll find value, enjoyment and maybe even some parallels.
Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow is quoted saying “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” It’s just coincidence that I was on the Caribbean coast of Mexico when the substance of this article emerged.
Being in Mexico resulted from a canceled cruise, but I wouldn’t call it a bad option. The weather, accommodations, surroundings, sustenance, and company were near-perfect. Conversely, as I write this it’s a snowy and windy nine degrees…to say I’d rather be back in Quintana Roo is an understatement. Nonetheless, as I try to warm my icy toes and glance out at blowing snow, I think back to a walk on the beach just a week-and-a-half ago.
Like some of you, I people-watch. Most anyone in the profession of arms will tell you people watching is not just a clumsy excuse husbands use when their eyes wander. For those trained to observe and expected to respond when things go bad, being on ‘constant alert’ becomes hard-wired and perpetual. I suspect it’s why many us us struggle to rest, unwind, or relax…especially in public spaces.
As I sought to ‘unwind’ on the beach, I noticed an athletically well-put-together, short-haired, middle-aged man smoothly striding the Mexican sand with stoic confidence. Were it not for wearing shorts, I would never have noticed his prosthetic lower left leg. The way he carried himself and combination of physical attributes convinced me he was a fellow combat veteran who’d paid a higher price than most. A chance meeting in the gym would later confirm my instant assessment was completely incorrect. But my new friend turned out to be no less impressive and inspirational.
I’ve built a notable gym and enjoy working out at home. I’m thankful to be self-motivated enough to consistently do so alone, but I don’t begrudge those who patronize gyms and derive motivation from it. In fact, it’s long been my desire to open one. But I can do without the posturing testosterone-festivals at some public gyms, where genetically ‘gifted’ beefcakes preoccupied with impressing others look down their flaring nostrils at average guys like me. Still, I sometimes find inspiration there. Mostly from humble, hard-working hard-gainers, unconcerned with attention-grabbing mating rituals. Such was the case with Greg.
He was there to work; harder than most. The fact that he is an amputee made no difference, yet made all the difference. I watched Greg’s presence raise the level-of-effort throughout the gym, mine included. By the time I introduced myself, he was cooling down on a recumbent bike, still sweating more than me. I thanked him for the inspiration and asked, “Was it one of the three ‘Cs’ – cancer, combat, childhood injury?”
There was no hint of annoyance with my imposition, nor hesitation with his answer. He smiled and replied “You forgot diabetes and motorcycle crash. Those are the two I get most often.”
It was a motorcycle crash; broadsided by a car that ran a red light.
Greg freely shared his story there in the gym, and poolside as we chatted off and on the next few days. I quickly came to appreciate and respect his disposition, the human being he is, and what he does to counsel others who’ve suffered catastrophic injuries.
In his book Call Sign Chaos, Jim Mattis quotes a writing by President Thomas Jefferson that reads, “What is good in this case cannot be effected. We have, therefore, only to find out what will be least bad.” According to Mattis, Jefferson was speaking of how to deal with England in 1807.
The context is clearly different, and I don’t presume to speak for Greg. But in my conversations with him, I understood that for three years he underwent recommended surgeries in attempts to preserve his damaged limb. He told me having it removed was one of the best decisions of his life. In his case the ‘good’ could not be effected. His lower leg and foot, despite being ‘preserved’, did not function properly. Amputation, while perhaps the ‘least bad’ option to him at the time, ultimately became the best solution. It’s tough to argue that truth when you see Greg walking down the beach, jumping in the pool, or out-sweating others in the gym. By the way, he still loves to waterski.
Truth is, I wasn’t most stirred by how Greg carried himself, his impressive physical shape, or even his tolerance of a stranger interrupting his workout to ask personal questions. It was his humble spirit and positive attitude. I noted many nuggets of wisdom as we talked, but the one that stuck with me most went something like this: ‘I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going’.
Well said, Greg. And well-lived. I hope to go skiing with you in South Texas sometime.
Keep doing great things!
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Mattis, J.N. & West, F.J. (2019). Call sign chaos. New York, NY: Random House.
Thanks! (Video Update)
2nd Annual Year in Review
As the calendar turned two years ago I quoted David Jeremiah, who wrote: “A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others. Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” The world has been hurting, and many suffered greatly in 2020. Maybe that quote would be better served to start 2021.
The premise behind beyondstrength.org is that strength is more than just being physically strong. It’s also about finding strength in weakness, and helping others get strong, be strong, and stay strong. Thank you, 2020, for proving that premise to be necessarily self-evident.
There’s no sense lamenting the things here we’ve lived ad nauseam the past 10 months via revolving news networks. Instead, I will continuing the fledgling tradition of recapping my blatherings from the past year.
Surely you read, enjoyed, related to, and benefited from all of my writings the last 12 months?! On the outside chance you missed any of these ‘life-altering’ posts, here’s a summary of Beyond Strength articles from the dumpster fire of a year called 2020.
Cause for Delay (video): Starting the year already behind schedule, I bought time by sending a video update from the island of Lesvos, Greece. I was there with a short-term mission team providing humanitarian support to refugees at Moria Camp. It was an amazing experience and added valuable context to my life experience and walk of faith.
The Leadership T.R.A.P.: The article used the acronym to compare and contrast Task versus Relationship focused leaders and Authority versus the Power-focused leader. Tasks tend to be one-dimensional…just get it done. But tasks and overall mission are best accomplished when relationships built of genuine care for your people come first.
Free Samples of Forgiveness: I get bogged down dwelling on my mistakes or how I’ve been wronged by others. Counselors call that ruminating. My struggles in this area are rooted in difficulties accepting and granting forgiveness. I’m committed offering forgiveness more freely and being grateful for forgiveness I’m granted. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6.14-15
March Forth: What better month than March to march forth toward fulfilling your purpose, achieving your goals, or making the world a better place? I suggested some ideas like starting a blog or other venture; starting a reading program; volunteering; or getting your fitness goals on track. How did you do?
Well That’s Fabulous: Chances are you’ve seen or heard the abbreviation ‘wtf’. If seeing it makes you uneasy, don’t be. It stands for Well That’s Fabulous. WTF was a discussion about the disturbing trends being witnessed within the pandemic. This is an unprecedented crisis; no one person, organization, or government has all the answers. People should stop blaming others; stop trying to advance personal and political agendas; stop arguing about who should have done what, when; and stop trying to be an infectious disease, economics, supply chain, business, or political expert. Instead, start being more caring, compassionate, cooperative, humble, and kind.
Conspiring for Good: Election interference and virtually everything surrounding COVID-19 generated rife theories of conspiracy or malfeasance that continue to thrive. Whether conspiracy theories do more harm than good or serve to help maintain proper balance in the world, it can take years for the truth to be revealed…and even then there will be those who doubt. Conspiracies make for great entertainment, but also cause great divisiveness. Commit to conspiring to do good.
Be the Solution, Not the Problem: Here were a few ideas I shared to be more of a solution than a problem.
- Make room for God in your life. When we understand our own unworthiness compared to a Holy God, we tend to be less of a problem for others.
- Stop claiming the misfortunes of others as your own in some attempt to justify living however you want, or as an excuse for your own bad behavior. “Let your light shine before others…” (Matt. 5.16)
- Embrace diversity. Enable diversity to foster and thrive by treating everyone with dignity and respect.
- Take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings. Owning your mistakes is solution-oriented; blaming others makes you part of the problem.
- Pick up after yourself; leave things better than you found them; say please, thank you, and I love you more often.
- If you see someone struggling or in need, help them. Saying to yourself, “It’s not my problem” is part of the problem.
Heard, Understood, Acknowledged: An essay about the challenges of interpersonal and organizational communication. Sometimes it’s not what I say, but my delivery that sucks. Like other challenges, there’s probably no easy answer to solving communication problems. But I have found timeliness, openness, transparency, and over-communicating helps. Can you hear me now?
Gains without Pain: There’s something to be learned from pain in our lives, be it physical, emotional, psychological, or otherwise.
- Recognize its warning
- Protect the injured area(s)
- Strengthen surrounding structures that are weak
- Properly address and treat the root cause
- Don’t bury, numb, or mask it with medication, over-indulgence, or risky behavior
- Avoid it when it’s causing damage or grief
As we move on from 2020 into the new year, I pray you’ll have a Happy(er) New Year, you’ll continue to follow along, and that you’ll make a positive difference in others’ lives.
“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” – Jackie Robinson
Keep doing great things!
Get Strong. Be Strong, Stay Strong.
Merry Christmas!
Six Foot Cup (Video Preview)
Gains Without Pain?
No Pain, No Gain! A familiar expression barked by trainers, a well-used mantra for gym-rats. From a muscular development or fitness improvement standpoint it’s true. It’s tough to make gains if you don’t push yourself, and pushing hurts sometimes. As someone who has suffered from chronic headaches and migraines since adolescence, unfortunately I know pain without gain well…and finding ways to press on has been the only option. But I’ve recently been reminded ‘working through’ pain is not always best.
In an effort to find a cause and eliminate what no one wanted to talk about, around the first or second grade (early 1970s), I was subjected to a brain scan. It was a fairly horrifying experience for a little guy, where dozens of wires were poked into the scalp all over my head. It was made worse by A) the probes kept falling out, so they were poked into my skin and then glued to my head; B) a scary-looking, impatient, unsympathetic nurse ripped half my hair out trying to remove the glue afterwards. I’m not sure I ever screamed and cried so much before or since.
I think I had endured an Electroencephalogram. MRIs weren’t quite on the scene yet, but honestly those aren’t my favorite way to spend an afternoon, either. The good news is there was no tumor, aneurysm, or anything else that concerned doctors. The bad news is 1) there was no explanation for the already chronic headaches I still have to this day, and 2) my dad had the perfect lifelong icebreaker and punchline at my expense: “They did a brain scan on David, but they didn’t find anything!” Figuring 45 years of persistent headaches can’t be a good thing, I had a MRI done last year, just in case. Dad: “How did your brain scan come out?” Me: “Good.” Dad: “They didn’t find anything, huh?!” It never gets old.
Chronic intense pain has nearly always been a ‘normal‘ part of my life.
On the bright side, pain is one of the body’s sensors to indicate something is wrong. In his book “Where is God When it Hurts?” Philip Yancey reminds us “Pain sensors loudly alert [our bodies] to danger…”. He says absent pain’s warning, or ignoring or silencing it without heeding it, is dangerous and can lead to greater harm. That’s where the not-so-bright-side comes in.
Ignoring pain, pushing through, deadening it, or turning it off altogether is dangerous and undermines the body’s natural warning systems. Like removing the batteries from your smoke detector or putting tape over your check-engine light because you’re tired of looking at it. Too often we get into the habit of treating pain’s symptoms and ignoring the root cause. This can be through medication, alcohol, or living with reckless abandon. The result is often more damage. Pain is telling us something. We are wise to listen.
I’m not just talking about physical pain.
I have become so accustomed to living with the pain of migraines that when other things hurt, I just try to ignore or deaden it until it subsides. Sometimes it persists so long that it gets drowned out in the ‘noise’ for a period of time it’s not as noticeable. Like people living near railroad tracks or the effect white noise can have on the constant ringing in my ears. But, like ignoring emotional pain that needed attention and psychological pain from unresolved vicarious trauma, I’ve learned pushing through the pain of degenerative joint disease (advanced arthritis) in my shoulder just causes more damage. Not only has the result been near constant discomfort and improper functioning, failure to properly deal it has weakened the surrounding structures.
In just a few weeks of physical therapy I have come to understand I can’t ‘fix’ this arthritis…I’ll live with shoulder pain the rest of my life. But I can strengthen the right areas, re-teach myself proper alignment and function, and learn to listen and respond appropriately to pain. Sometimes that means not pushing through discomfort.
I’m not just talking about my shoulder.
There’s something to be learned from this about pain in our lives; physical, emotional, psychological, or otherwise.
- Recognize its warning
- Protect the injured area(s)
- Strengthen surrounding structures that are weak
- Properly address and treat the root cause
- Don’t bury, numb, or mask it with medication, over-indulgence, or risky behavior
- Avoid it when it’s causing damage or grief
“Like a grain of sand or other irritating substance that finds its way into the shell of an oyster eventually leads to creation of a beautiful pearl; so an injury, irritation, or wrong in our life can become a great blessing and the means to enrich us.” – Karl P. Buswell
My prayer is that you will somehow find blessing in your pain.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Yancey, Philip. (1990). Where is God when it hurts. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
Gains Without Pain (Video Preview)
Be the Solution, Not the Problem
“What’s your problem?!?” I know you’ve been asked that. Maybe you’ve uttered those words yourself, right before realizing things were about to go south. It’s a legitimate question, but one that’s usually asked in the wrong tone at the wrong time.
I have been asking myself that question for weeks now. While I usually ask it when struggling with my thought life or downswings in my mood or attitude, recently it’s been related to my lack of motivation to write an article. The solution came after talking to my friend. He experienced similar ‘writers block’ as he contemplated the much more significant purpose of drafting his brother’s (and our bandmate’s) eulogy. He tells me he awoke in the middle of the night and just started writing.
History repeated itself in a sense, for as chatting with him was part of my solution here, he likewise helped me move from problem to solution a few years ago when he convinced me to join his band to help me recover from a dark time in my life.
Problem: They needed a drummer (I didn’t play drums).
Solution: Now I do.
It would be easy to swing at the softball floating toward home plate courtesy of the pandemic right now. After all, the current medical-social-political-economic finger-pointing circus supplies ample example; there is no shortage of those who are part of the problem. The good news is, there are just as many who are working hard to be part of the solution.
Besides people who barely passed high school math suddenly knowing more about infectious disease than actual scientists and doctors, people who are part of the problem do things like this: litter; don’t scoop their dog’s poop; procrastinate excessively; blame others; engage in cronyism and favoritism; fail to learn from mistakes; are inconsiderate or entitled (typically related); leave their shopping cart parked where cars are supposed to; pretend to care about people.
They may also fail to recognize (or care) they are part of the problem.
Here are a few ideas to be more of a solution:
- Make room for God in your life. When we rightly understand our own unworthiness compared to the righteousness of a Holy God, we tend to be less of a problem for others.
- Stop claiming the misfortunes of others as your own in some attempt to justify living however you want, or as an excuse for your own bad behavior (cf. peaceful protesting vs. arson, looting, assault, and property destruction). If you want to be a voice and strength for the oppressed or weak, live honorably in such a way that brings about positive change. “Let your light shine before others…” (Matt. 5.16)
- As Dr. Samuel Betances used to say, stop counting heads and start making heads count. Embrace diversity. Enable diversity to foster and thrive by treating everyone with dignity and respect. We are all humans created in the image of God. I don’t believe supporting one race, gender, orientation, or ethnicity has to be to the exclusion, debasement, or detestation of another; you don’t have to be ‘one of’ to ‘stand with’. Fostering a culture of diversity involves being part of the solution.
- Take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings. Learn from them. Everyone stumbles and falls short. Owning your mistakes is solution-oriented; blaming others makes you part of the problem.
- Pick up after yourself; leave things better than you found them; say please, thank you, and I love you more often; be a good (nobody’s perfect) human being.
- If you see someone struggling or in need – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually – help them. Saying to yourself, “It’s not my problem” is part of the problem.
Bystander intervention, being kind, considerate, polite, old-fashioned, or a Good Samaritan. Whatever you call it, consider this: “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” That’s from the second chapter of James, where he relates that faith, when not accompanied by works, is dead. Even the secular rock band A Perfect Circle seems to get it. Consider these excerpted lyrics from ‘Talk Talk’:
You’re waiting…On miracles…We’re bleeding out
While you deliberate…Bodies accumulate Sit and talk like Jesus…Try walkin’ like Jesus
Don’t be the problem, be the solution
Faith without works is, Talk without works is
Faith without works is Dead, dead, dead, dead
Try braving the rain, Try lifting the stone, Try extending a hand
Try walkin’ your talk or get the f**k out of my way
The Christian band Casting Crowns likewise addresses not walking the talk in their song ‘If We are the Body’:
But if we are the body, why aren’t his arms reaching? Why aren’t his hands healing? Why aren’t his words teaching? And if we are the body, why aren’t his feet going? Why is his love not showing them there is a way?
There is so much more I need to say about this subject, but I’ve already overstayed my welcome.
If you are a so-called leader who plays favorites, cares only about what benefits you, or creates problems where (or because) none exist, you’re part of the problem. Leadership involves solving problems, not creating them.
Be part of the solution.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Lyrics retrieved from https://www.lyricfind.com
Well That’s Fabulous!
No matter how wholesome or sheltered you are, chances are you’ve seen or heard the abbreviation ‘wtf’. If seeing it here makes you uneasy, read on! I won’t share what is probably the original and most widely-used version (even though many of us have likely asked ourselves a similar question for several weeks now).
A few yeas ago my good friend in the faith, David, asked me a very serious question: “You know what that really stands for, don’t you?” Of course I do. Smirking he said, “Well That’s Fabulous”. I liked it, lol’d, and have used it ever since. It also works better as an article title than Haircuts, Face-masks, Unused Razors, Isolation, Leadership, and Politics.
But since you brought it up, let’s talk about those things.
It’s not lost on anyone that this worldwide pandemic has altered life and is unlike anything we’ve known this generation. Which is perhaps why it’s so disheartening to see how quickly business leaders, politicians, and others have moved from respect, understanding and cooperation to grandstanding, spewing rhetoric, imagining their own expertise, and jockeying for political advantage. There was much promise initially…an opportunity to come together for the good of humanity. But like other catastrophic events that only temporarily unite us, the goodness and spirit of unity left quickly. The honeymoon is over, and we’ve predictably devolved into finger-pointing and politics-as-usual.
But there are bright spots. What has been encouraging are widespread examples of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. Not just frontline workers battling in the trenches, but everyday people finding creative ways to encourage, teach, learn, give, and otherwise make the best of a horrible situation.
Speaking of horrible situations, even if I had two bits, I can’t get a shave and a haircut right now. Not good for a career high-and-tight guy. So I’ve been cutting my own! While it’s no Jerry’s Barbershop masterpiece, it’s not Bob’s Bowl-cut Special, either. Besides, I can always wear a hat until Mark is able to get behind his chair again. Now about that shave…
The start of a fresh month, coupled with being off-the-hook from shaving everyday, gave rise to April’s Stay-At-Home ‘Stache contest with family, friends, and colleagues. The last time I organized a similar activity (Mustache March a few years ago), my daughter nearly disowned me. I think her words were: “Dad, no. You need to shave that off. Never do that again!”
It has been a hoot seeing the creativity of some, the uncooperative genetics of others, and the generosity of all through this frivolous distraction. With judging less than a week away, it’s already the longest I’ve gone without shaving since I joined the military at age 18. Most importantly, over $1000 has been raised to help a hurting family.
Then there’s people like Mike, mentioned last time, who created a website dedicated to positive, educational, entertaining content. He and his family didn’t stop there. They began making cloth face coverings in their home to give people in their community and beyond. Ours arrived in the mail just days after he told me about it. He later sent me a picture of his 93-year-old neighbor, another recipient of the Brady family’s generosity. They even decorated a thank you tree! Reminds me of some other unselfish friends living in south Florida. The world is a better place because of people like them who use their resources to put others first.
Now more than ever leaders, politicians, and citizens alike need to take Theodore Roosevelt’s similar advice to do the best they can, with what they have, where they are. Small businesses are crumbling, along with the life-savings, heart, and soul many poured into them. People are feeling helpless, lonely, and scared. They are hurting, sick, and dying.
This is an unprecedented crisis. Because it is unprecedented, no one person, organization, or government has all the answers or knows a single best solution. It’s time for leaders to be leaders and focus on cooperatively serving others, instead of themselves or their ambitions. Another good friend dropped this brief video gem on the subject recently.
It would be most encouraging if everyone – elected, appointed, and citizen alike, would just stop. Stop wasting time blaming other levels of government or political parties; stop trying to advance their own political or personal agenda; stop arguing about who should have done what and when; stop trying to make others believe you’ve somehow become an overnight expert on infectious disease, economics, supply chains, business, or politics. And start being more caring, compassionate, cooperative, humble, and kind human beings.
I love the heartwarming stories on television and social media. They give me hope that all the junk above will ultimately be consumed by the goodness of human spirit. I encourage you to use this unique and challenging time to pray more, read more, love more, lead more. Serve others, build your faith, strengthen your body, grow closer to friends and family, and renew your mind.
And cut your hair.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
“Set you mind on things above, not on earthly things.” – Colossians 3.2
