Free Samples of Forgiveness
“The best way of avenging yourself is not to become like [the wrongdoer].” Marcus Aurelius
I spend a fair amount of time reflecting on things from the past, struggling to keep pace with things in the present, and pondering things yet in the future. Admittedly, I sometimes get bogged down more than I should dwelling on past mistakes I’ve made or how I’ve been wronged by others. Counselors call it ruminating. Apparently it’s one of my super-powers.
It’s not lost on me that many of my struggles in this area are rooted in difficulties I’ve had with forgiveness. That includes accepting it and granting it. Thankfully, I’ve come a long way from the person I used to be in offering forgiveness. And while I sometimes still let things bother me for a short time, grudges generally pass quickly. Still, there are a few specific instances where a spirit of unforgiveness continues to linger – which is both absurd and frustrating to me considering the things I’ve done…and been forgiven for.
In my video preview to this article, I mentioned the rampant discourtesy of gorging, warehouse-store ‘free-samplers’. Two things come to mind on this: 1) While their careless, aisle-blocking oblivion irritates me at the time, forgiveness is swift and I’m generally over it before leaving the store. 2) I can’t help but think what a powerful witness this is to our modern lean toward excess, compared to the famines and desert wandering of Old Testament times. I’m dubious about our chances of survival if ever faced with similar circumstances. It’s taking your life in your own hands to get between some of those people and their free samples – even at a place with mountains of food readily available for purchase. Can you imagine the chaos if those free samples were it!?!? Quail and manna may feed us, but it probably wouldn’t save us from ourselves in today’s world…
In contrast, a less humorous example involves my own struggle with living out forgiveness in this way. As intimated earlier, one of my issues involves trouble eradicating recurring resentment for a few people because of things they’ve done that hurt me. That’s one of the reasons I chose ‘forgive’ as my word on a recent assignment. I truly want to be free of harboring these grudges. But as much as it embarrasses me to say this, I have trouble not thinking at least one other person’s word on that assignment should have been ‘hypocrisy’ instead of the word they chose. Worse yet, they probably have no clue (or don’t care) that the shoe fits.
Considering my own shortcomings and the whole context of this article, that probably should have been my word, too.
I’ll admit that in between plenty of blessings and joys, the year 2019 presented some significant challenges that certainly didn’t help my disposition: nagging tinnitus and a dried-up college fund; cancer diagnoses and surgeries for both a son and daughter-in-law; failing health of some loved ones; financial and marital challenges for other family and friends; and the passing of my mom just before the holidays, to name a few.
Mom was another person I still owed a measure of forgiveness to, by the way.
David Jeremiah wrote in one of his devotional books, “By God’s providence, every trial somehow returns a blessing in His time and way.”
Providentially, 2020 has started out much better than last year ended. My oldest and his wife are thus far cancer-free; my other son landed his dream job outside Washington, DC; my daughter was chosen for a potentially life-changing internship opportunity this summer; I was blessed be part of a mission team that traveled to Greece to provide humanitarian relief for thousands of refugees. I’ve also recommitted to eating healthier, changing some workouts to keep fighting off Father Time, reading more, finishing my master’s degree, getting more involved again at church, and getting back to other things I enjoy, like theatre.
I’ve also committed to work hard every day to get over myself, be more grateful for the undeserved forgiveness I’ve been granted, and to let go.
Mostly, I just want to be a kinder, more compassionate, and more considerate human being.
I might even hand out a few free samples of forgiveness…whether they deserve it or not.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6.14-15
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
The Year in Review
It’s hard to believe that 20 years ago we thought Y2K would end the world or malfunctioning computers would catapult us back to the digital dark-ages. Some even believed that the turn of the century would result in some sort of Stephen King, ‘Maximum Overdrive’ scenario where machines took over the world. With the Internet of Things (IoT) led by the armies of Alexa, Cortana, Siri, and Google Assistant, we’re probably closer to that now than in 1999!
I take great care and time compiling what I hope are meaningful, enjoyable, powerful, sharable essays. Because of that, I don’t post as often as I’d prefer. Still, I feel like a kid who sank an impossible trick shot in the driveway or performed a concerto flawlessly at home, wishing more people would have witnessed it. I really want more people to read, enjoy, and relate to what I write!
So for those who missed any of my ‘life-changing’ posts in 2019 (insert eye-roll and ROFL emojis here), and in honor of the world not ending 20 years ago, here’s a Beyond Strength summary of articles from the past year.
New Beginnings: Breach the new year with optimism, commitment, and focus. Make yourself and the world a little better each day; “A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others. Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” (David Jeremiah)
I’m Rubber & You’re Glue: Like a rubber band, we need to stretch to be most useful, effective, and reach our full potential.
Stretchy Pants:
S eize your moment
T ry something new
R ead
E xpect great things
T ransform your thinking
C ast no stones
H elp others reach their potential
Y our mistakes do not define you
P ain is temporary (pride is not)
A lways do more than expected
N ever fail to learn something (especially from mistakes)
T reat others the way you want them to treat you
S top giving life to the doubts of others
Friends Without Coffee: Time and distance are no indicator how close a friend really is; I am a lot more laid back when I don’t drink coffee.
Egos & Empires: Great leaders are visionary, courageous, decisive, passionate, genuine, caring, and humble; they build empires of respect, care, professionalism, and adoration. We need more leaders like that so empires of egos and self-serving motives disappear, and those who rise to prominence because they know someone (yet care about none) cease to prosper.
Discipline of Fools: Lack of self-discipline has major impact on physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological well-being. When I fail to exercise discipline at the dinner table, my physical appearance and health suffer. When I don’t discipline my time, all areas of my life suffer. When I fail to discipline my emotions I get upset, edgy, angry, or unhappy. When I don’t discipline my thought life, my mind wanders and folly ensues.
Out with Insecurity: I trace many choices back to insecurity, damaged self-esteem, or skewed perceptions of self-worth. Sometimes you just have to turn the page to realize there is more to your book of life than the page you’re stuck on. Stop being afraid to move on! Close this chapter of hurt and never re-read it again. It’s time to get what your life deserves. Move on from things that don’t deserve you. Don’t spend your days trying to correct the past; instead, let go and let God create something better for your future.
Create Your Opportunity: Commit to a never-ending quest for learning and growth; glean value from whatever situation you face; be ready to conquer giants and overcome obstacles in life; understand you can’t do it alone. Do at least one thing better today than yesterday; relentlessly pursue whatever you love; do your best and work hard; don’t let mistakes or other people define who you are or how far you will go.
Wreckage In Your Mind: Feed the right beast. Learn from your mistakes, walk it off, and get back to work. Do not go gently into the night…“When your body gets tired, run with your heart.” (Don Denyes)
Entitlement: It’s My Prerogative: Here’s what I’m entitled to…NOTHING. But I should expect 1) Honest pay for honest work. 2) Protections outlined in the Constitution. 3) To be a good human being, because there are more than enough rotten ones.
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: We all have a responsibility to be citizens who engage in respectful dialogue aimed at improving our world. It’s okay to disagree, but only while treating each other with dignity and respect. When tempted to be dragged into a quagmire of divisiveness or disrespect, let that sleeping dog lie.
Settle Down: Recognize how failing to address primal needs in life can cause restlessness. Embrace the present; love unreservedly; help others; determine and fulfill your purpose; live by faith knowing God is in control.
Take Off Your Mask: Patrick King says “If you want to be confident, you have to look confident.” But what if I’m not and I don’t? Many of us ‘mask’ who we are rather than risk exposing weakness or insecurity. Tear down relationship barriers by taking off your mask and allowing others to be real, without fear of criticism and judgment.
The Heart of Service: Influencing others is the heart of leadership. Some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned came from a few exceptional leaders who, through their words and actions, revealed the character of their heart and their concern for mine. That is the heart of service.
Strength is beyond just being physically strong, that’s why I called it ‘Beyond Strength‘. Let’s help each other get strong, be strong, and stay strong in this new decade.
Season’s Greetings from Beyond Strength!
As I celebrate the holidays with family and friends, I am reminded how grateful I am to have forgiveness and salvation. I’m also grateful to have you following along. Please take time to reflect on the 2019 and plan how to get strong, be strong, and stay strong in 2020. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Beyond Strength!
Settle Down
If you didn’t see the video preview to this article, what came to mind when you first read the title? I imagine there is a wide range across the readership. Does that make ‘settle down’ an idiom? Homonym? Does it matter? I could have equally been referring to a command your grandma barked because you were being too rambunctious while Grandpa was dozing in his rocker, as much as to the not-so-veiled “time-to-start-a-family” reminders your parents start giving you around age 30 every time you visit.
I didn’t have settling down to start a family or stifling my hyperactivity in mind when this subject came to me. Rather, it was an unexpected, unsettled feeling that crept in and is lingering. Despite its inexplicability, I’ve become all too familiar with this feeling.
An important first step in learning to ‘settle down’ is identifying the factors contributing to this feeling. Honestly, it could be any number of things, including significant financial and physical hardships of people close to me or ongoing personal frustrations and uncertainty at work. As I’ve thought through possible root causes, a book I read some years ago came to mind that might explain a few other possibilities.
Uncharacteristically, I didn’t write the date I started it in the front cover, but a boarding pass still marks a page, supporting the possibility the book was an airline terminal purchase. It was June 2013 and I was headed to Washington, DC the day before my birthday. I was familiar with its author, Patrick Morley, from his impactful book ‘Man in the Mirror’ I read some years earlier. In this more recent book, Man Alive, Morley theorizes that a significant number of men are mired in mediocrity, stifling their natural energy by settling for lukewarm (he calls ‘half alive’) existences. In Man Alive, he provides insightful reasons and symptoms that speak to its truth – including feelings of restlessness. He offers practical ways to live a more fulfilled life by addressing what he calls “seven primal needs”. These, and perhaps still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up, may explain at least some of the unsettled feelings that come and go in my life.
Morley uses the chapters of Man Alive to dig into ways to convert restlessness into fulfilled living by addressing these primal needs he lists in Chapter 1:
- To feel like you don’t have to do life alone
- To believe that God loves and cares about you personally
- To understand how your life has a purpose, that your life is not random
- To break free from the destructive behaviors that keep dragging you down
- To satisfy your soul’s thirst for transcendence, awe, and communion
- To love and be loved without reservation
- To make a contribution and leave the world a better place
As I looked these over for the first time since 2013, it was easy to recognize the primacy of these in my life. I likewise recognize how failing to properly address them could lead to restlessness or passivity. Or both.
I hesitate to end this article having you believe I’m somehow stuck in a perpetual quagmire of uncertainty or restlessness. That’s not the case. I’ve been blessed throughout my life with many opportunities that relate to the list, and overall I’m an optimistic, happy, and fulfilled guy! But I’d be lying if I told you I never feel alone; or that I don’t struggle with my thought life; or that I don’t sometimes still wonder about my true purpose.
Patrick Morley is clearly onto something. It’s also reasonable that some of what I’m feeling has to do with crossing through deep waters with others in my life. As Dr. Don Denyes of South Church recently said, ‘standing in the river’ speaks to the problems or challenges we face. He points out that maybe God allows the BIG problems in our lives to remind us we can’t handle everything ourselves like with smaller problems. I can fix a lot of things myself. But I can’t fix cancer, my mom’s dementia, or a host of other life-altering hardships faced by people close to me (and millions of others). Neither can I predict the future. But I can embrace the present, love unreservedly, help wherever & whenever possible, work unashamedly to determine & fulfill my purpose, and live by faith knowing God is ultimately the one in control.
Maybe you can, too.
To help you, I recommend either book mentioned, Man in the Mirror or Man Alive, and visiting Patrick Morley’s blog. If you are one of the first five readers to contact me either by email at strength@beyondstrength.org or comment to this post, I’ll send you a free copy of Man Alive (a donation toward shipping is appreciated but not required). I also recommend Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life.
I appreciate you joining me to find strength in weakness, improve, and make the world a better place. And I’d love to know your thoughts on other ways to ‘settle down’.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Morley, Patrick. (2012). Man alive – transforming your 7 primal needs into a powerful spiritual life. Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah.
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
How do you wake up? Mellow, sheepishly wiping the sleep from your eyes? Or do you come up swinging? I remember watching a friend gently try to wake his sleeping child. The boy jolted awake and promptly socked his dad right in the eye! Even well-intentioned stalk-climbers in every adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk knew it was a bad idea to wake the sleeping giant. And whether he actually said it or not, I expect Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto probably realized it was a bad idea, too.
I’m finding it increasingly difficult to avoid jumping into the fray of sensitive current events. While divisive political subjects and polarizing social issues would no doubt help increase readership or a larger following, that’s not what this enterprise is about. Instead, I use this medium to take a positive look at life, leadership, and fitness in hopes of helping others and sharing common experiences. While the subject matter isn’t always happy and carefree, it is intended to provoke thought, prompt action, edify, encourage, and exhort readers to make positive change in their lives. In other words, to create beauty from brokenness and derive strength from weakness.
My reluctance to rouse the lying dog of political division or wake the giant of societal or organizational dysfunction doesn’t mean there isn’t something to be said for kissing a few frogs or awakening a sleeping beauty or two in our life, leadership, and fitness endeavors. So pucker up.
Life
Well over halfway through life on this side of dirt, I still don’t have it figured out. Selfishly I think that life’s not fair. No one said it would be…especially my mom. But if you’re like me you wonder when it’s your turn. I’ve worked hard my whole life and still don’t have a vacation home or lake house like so many others. And why do crooks, creeps, and the wicked continue to prosper? David Jeremiah put it this way in a recent Turning Points devotional. “God does bestow wealth on some of His servants, and their generosity has financed many of the great ministries that have changed the world. God also allows some of His people to live in humility, and their selflessness has also changed the lives of many people. Prosperity is no indication of righteousness, and poverty is not necessarily a virtue.”
Like Paul, I have been both in need and in plenty and am trying to be content in either. I work hard and strive to be responsible and practical. Yes, I’d love to reap a few more ‘comfortable rewards’ of that. But right now there are others in greater need, including some of my own loved ones. How dare I do nothing when I have the means to help? “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well: keep warm and be well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?” (James 2.15-16). The lake house will have to wait.
Perhaps LIFE is ≥ this: 1) Give me neither poverty nor riches – feed me with the food allotted to me (Proverbs 30.8). 2) Be content with such things as you have (Heb 13.5). 3) Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven (Matt 5.12).
Leadership
Of the articles I’ve published, leadership is the most frequent topic so I’ll keep this short. Major General Perry M. Smith, Ph.D., whom I had the honor to meet and chat with in 2010, wrote an exceptional book on leadership called Rules & Tools for Leaders. It is one of my most written in, marked up, dog-eared books, in fact. Toward the end he summarizes leadership thus: “Leadership is not keeping your boss happy; avoiding trouble; accumulating power, perks, and privileges; staying really busy; or getting to the bottom of your in-box. Leadership is serving your people, serving the mission, giving power away, and raising the level of dignity and integrity in your organization.” Agreed.
Fitness
I have another fitness article in the works, so I’ll simply reiterate here some of what I’ve said before on the subject. Work hard and be consistent. Watch what and how much you eat. Know your body and what works best for you. Balance strength work with cardiovascular training. Most of us are drug free and genetically typical. Don’t compare yourself to those who aren’t. Consider reading my previous article On Fitness.
I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t weigh in on touchy subjects. They are important to our nation and society. We all have a responsibility to be respectable citizens and engage in respectful dialogue aimed at improving our world. It’s okay to disagree, but only while treating each other with dignity and respect. If you’re tempted to be dragged into a quagmire of divisiveness, disdain, or disrespect, let that sleeping dog lie.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Smith, P. M. (2002). Rules & tools for leaders. New York, NY: Berkley.
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie (Video Preview)
Wreckage In Your Mind
Raymond A. McConnell wrote that our minds seek the truth, and when truth is gained the mind is strengthened. A mind that is disciplined is as important as a disciplined body.
I don’t know about you, but it’s always been easier for me to discipline my body than my mind. Getting in the gym, out for a run, or otherwise staying physically active has been standard operating procedure. My mind, on the other hand, tends to wander (usually when I’m bored or stressed), and is sometimes distracted by sights, sounds, and a thought life enticed by excitement or things perhaps ‘less wholesome’.
Halsey’s song Nightmare talks about keeping “…record of the wreckage” in our life and recognizing “…the weapon” in our mind. Those words not only relate to McConnell’s observation, but also to my life…recently in particular.
Within the last few weeks I celebrated another birthday, the high school graduation of my youngest child, and the birth of a third grandson. You might think for a man who already struggles with aging, self-esteem, and insecurity, this perfect storm of reminders that I’m no spring chicken would be problematic. And you would be correct! But admitting it is half the battle, right?!
I admit it…I have a record of wreckage in my life. Weakness of the mind has led to a lot of it. As resistance training is to strengthening the body, so mental ‘nutrition’ and controlling the thought life is to strengthening the mind. It’s time make a few improvements in the area of mental fitness; time to strengthen the mind and do some cleaning.
It starts on the inside, in our heart and mind. The heart-mind connection is hard to deny. The Bible affirms this convincingly: “As in water face reflects face, so a man’s heart reveals the man.” (Prov 27.19); “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Prov 23.7); “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Prov 4.23); “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts…” (Matt 15.19).
Halsey is right; our mind is a weapon to be reckoned. Like most weapons, it can be used for good (self-defense/defense of others) or for evil (self-destruction/harming others). Or it can atrophy like muscles you can’t or choose not to use anymore. So let’s do something about that.
Feed the Beast
I’ve heard variations of a ‘two beasts’ analogy. Some say Billy Graham was first to share it and wrote of two dogs in one of his books; others attribute it to Native American legend involving two wolves. Origins and species aside, the metaphor goes that inner conflict between good and evil is the result of two beasts battling within us; the winner being whichever we feed the most. Regardless how you feel about the analogy, it’s not hard to see the practical truth borne out in our lives when comparing steady diets of the good, selfless, positive, and healthy to the debaucherous, selfish, negative and unhealthy. Feed the right beast.
Walk It Off
In his Quest devotional ‘Seeking God Daily’, Dr. David Jeremiah retells a story about a worker who lost his company a million dollars because of a mistake. Rather than let the man go, the boss pointed out that ‘”The secret of making a million dollars instead of losing a million dollars is making good decisions. And the secret to good decisions is learning from the bad ones.”” Learn from your mistakes, walk it off, and get back to work.
Don’t Go Quietly
I wrote in an article last year that I was nearly 50 years old before I felt happiest with my appearance and nearly as good as I ever had physically. I’m a couple years past that milestone now and I say getting old sucks. My work ethic in the gym hasn’t changed, but my progress and recovery have taken a significant hit. Vanity and insecurity about my appearance provide substantial motivation to keep working through the muscle pain, slow recovery, and achy joints. Adjusting rep schemes and poundages, slowing my running pace, and learning new techniques from people like Pete Koch is helping. Just because you are strengthening your mind doesn’t mean you stop working on your body. Do not go gently into the night.
I’ve made a wreck of many things in my life….maybe you have too. But it’s time to get on with it. Let ‘it’ be your life, your body, your heart, your mind. And whatever strengthens them.
And as Pastor Don Denyes of South Church said recently, “When your body gets tired, run with your heart.”
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Hunsberger, E. & Nygaard, N. (2002). Strength for service: daily devotional messages for those in the service of others updated edition. Franklin, TN: Providence House.
Jeremiah, D. (2014). Quest: Seeking God daily. San Diego, CA: Turning Point.
Nightmare lyrics Source: LyricFind via web search. Songwriters: Ashley Nicolette Frangipane / Benjamin Levin / Magnus August Høiberg / Nathan Perez
Nightmare lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Create Your Opportunity
Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. I’ve only given a few graduation speeches in my life, but aside from the video preview to this article, I don’t recall ever offering that advice to anyone…graduating or otherwise. While I understand and appreciate the sentiment, it strikes me the same way ‘work smarter not harder’ does; as if hard work is a bad thing. On the contrary, I think the world and more than a few people in it would do well to do more of it. And no matter how much you love what you do, success is going to take work. Hard work…and lots of it.
I don’t begrudge people offering quips like those to motivate and inspire, for there’s wisdom in each of them. My point is, the ‘real world’ isn’t going to be all unicorns and rainbows. Life is going to challenge you; people are going to hurt and disappoint you; the career you envision may leave you unfulfilled or uninspired. Adulting is going to take hard work, commitment, various unpleasantries, and searching for answers to questions that haven’t even been asked yet.
I know by now you’ve heard more than a few times the importance of continuing your education. Formal education is hugely important. I think informal education and knowledge gained through life experience, hard work, and helping others are also very important. In other words, commit to a never-ending quest for learning and growth. Increasing knowledge from education and experiences; learning from mistakes and successes; growing from defeats and victories. Strive to glean some redeeming value from whatever situation you face.
This is all pretty typical of what graduates expect to hear at their commencement. About now in the speech I would be obliged to say something profound like “now go change the world!” The thing is, most in this current generation have already been doing that. Young people today have had to adapt and learn more things, more quickly, with wider more immediate implications than perhaps any generation before. So I simply challenge you to keep it up…in any positive way possible. Keep making the world a better place. Be ready to conquer the giants that you face in your life and overcome obstacles in your way. Understand that you can’t do it alone. It’s important to be a good teammate, a good friend, a good human being. And in whatever you do, keep moving forward. Make constant improvement in some area of your life. Do at least one thing better today than you did yesterday.
A matter of hours ago, I watched my youngest child walk across the stage and receive her diploma. She’s had an incredible journey that includes local and national academic honors as well as All-State athletic recognition. More importantly, she’s a caring, civic-minded young lady involved in community and church. So focused on others, in fact, that she included a note with every invitation asking people coming to her open house to bring a new pair of shoes for children in Haiti rather than gifts for her.
I don’t say all that to be boastful…I say it because I have been blown away by her and her classmates’ academic, athletic, and civic accomplishments. Despite reports that Millennials, Post-Millennials, or those considered Generation Z are self-centered or otherwise inwardly focused, my experience is completely opposite. The future is in good hands, and they have challenged me to do more and to do better myself.
And also to wonder how a broken man like me could be blessed with such amazing children as my daughter and her older brothers.
I’m going to end with a few takeaways.
Tim Bograkos , a former Michigan State University basketball player who went on to play professionally overseas prior to entering the business world, recently spoke at a local scholar-athlete banquet. He challenged the athletes to do the work, prepare for the game, and wait for their opportunity. I add not simply to wait for your opportunity, but create your opportunity. Relentlessly pursue whatever it is you love. Do your best and work hard at it. Take care of yourself; physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Likewise take care of others.
When you face challenges or make mistakes, learn from them. Get up, dust yourself off, keep moving forward. Don’t let those define who you are or how far you will go.
Love people. Make this world a better place through whatever you choose to do next. Perhaps St. Francis of Assisi’s words convey it best: Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying to ourselves that we receive eternal life.
Congratulations, Graduates! I appreciate the opportunity to deliver this ‘virtual’ commencement speech.
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Discipline of Fools
My dad was a career radio and television personality. Because he was a local celebrity, I had the privilege of growing up backstage or in the audience of countless shows of all kinds. Musicals, concerts, stage plays, Barbershop shows, and vaudeville acts to name a few. I spent many hours watching my dad on the radio as others listened, and off-set as he delivered the evening news in front of the cameras. I loved every minute of it, and grew to appreciate the performing arts, stage and screen entertainment of all sorts, and the joy that entertaining others brings.
I recognized that joy early in life and jumped at every opportunity to entertain…myself and others. From being a class clown at times to voluntarily joining (then) somewhat unconventional activities like choir, plays, mini-musicals, dramas, etc., it turned out Drama was one of my favorite high school classes. I found the most joy in life at that time both entertaining and being entertained, mostly by people and things that made me laugh. I loved attending our annual high school Follies! I was so enthralled by the emcees (a privilege reserved for seniors), who creatively cracked wise as they bought time between acts, that my goal in life became to emcee those follies. That opportunity came and remains one of my fondest high school memories! Seeing, hearing, and feeling the audience respond with joy and laughter to our shenanigans was intoxicating. But as entertainers know, it’s not easy to stay in character. For what you work hard to make entertaining for the audience is likewise entertaining to you, too. Folly takes discipline!
But if you watched my video preview to this article, you know I wasn’t talking about those types of follies.
Nonetheless, there are parallels when considering the relationship of discipline to acting out and there is an abundance of wisdom throughout the Bible concerning each. Solomon, considered perhaps the wisest man ever and author of many of the proverbs, wrote a lot about paying attention to the correction of your parents (obedience takes discipline!), that a parent who loves their child will ‘discipline him promptly’ (13.24), and how “Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path…” (15.10). Discipline here is correction, not punishiment. But I’m not talking about correction for something you’ve done wrong or administering discipline to your children. Apostle Paul wrote of disciplining his body as an athlete, training it to do what it should (1 Cor 9.27). That’s the type of discipline I am writing about…self-discipline of mind, body, and spirit.
And discipline isn’t easy! There are relationships between self-discipline and the effects a lack thereof can have on your physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological well-being…often leading to folly and all other sorts of problems.
When I fail to exercise discipline at the dinner table or snack bar, my physical appearance and overall health can suffer. When I fail to manage (discipline) my time, pretty much all of the other areas suffer. For instance, I don’t give proper attention to quiet time which effects my spiritual life; I skip the gym or other physical activity which effects my body; my stress increases at home and at work which has a negative impact on my emotional and psychological well-being (and my relationships). When I don’t discipline my emotions I can get upset, edgy, angry, or unhappy. When I don’t discipline my thought life, my mind wanders. Folly (sometimes worse) can ensue.
Do you have disciplinary problems? I’ll give you one guess which of them looms largest in my life. Correct, all of them! Actually it’s my thought life (as you probably suspected). Still, I believe they are all related on some level. For example, when I have failed to discipline my time, I miss my workouts. When I miss workouts I get edgy or start feeling out of shape and less appealing. When I feel that way I can become more insecure, unhappy, or stressed. When I’m insecure, unhappy, or stressed my relationships suffer and I become more introverted. When that happens I just want to feel better. My thoughts look for excitement, adventure, pleasure, or a happier place for a while. I need some ‘Calgon, take me away’ or Southwest Airlines ‘Wanna get away?’ moments. For some people, those moments relate to thoughts of travel to exotic places, reflecting on fond memories, shopping, or researching the latest Pinterest craze. Unfortunately, my thought life pretty much defaults to foolishness and much less wholesome things. I expect I’m not alone.
And as if some sick cosmic joke is needed to confirm the interconnectedness of disciplinary weakness to folly, the cycle repeats the very next time I fail to exercise proper discipline. And as dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. (Proverbs 26.11)
I need help…maybe you do too. Let’s help each other Get Strong, Be Strong, and Stay Strong.