6th Annual Year in Review

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“Life is a series of choices. Every yes is a thousand nos. Every activity we give our time to is a thousand other activities we can’t give our time to.” – John Mark Comer

There are several reasons I started what has become what I now call a motivational life, leadership, and fitness ministry nearly seven years ago. Among them was the catharsis of writing through some of my many issues; to educate, inspire, challenge, and entertain; and to help others while sharing from an abundance of accumulated experiences, successes, and failures. Another reason was to preemptively fill the impending time and space in my calendar I feared could become a stumbling block for someone with a restlessness problem. The funny thing is, after retiring fully from both careers two years ago, I never imagined time management or prioritizing activities would be an area of concern again. But an honest look at my activity here compared to the rest of my ventures over the last 12 months brings Comer’s opening truth-bomb starkly into focus. Every activity has been important, valuable, and meaningful in their own way. But I must admit that more often than I prefer, engaging here was too often among those ‘thousand other activities’ I couldn’t give my time to.

Nonetheless, I owe you a year in review…and a year in review is what you’ll get!

To freshen things up and fill some of the in-between time with shorter literary victuals, I tried something different with Transformation Tuesdays. The concept was to highlight each one of four life pillars on different Tuesdays: Heart, Mind, Body, Spirit. Much to my own chagrin, I only got through the heart and mind before pushing the others to the back burner in favor of meatier morsels. But let’s be honest…the biggest reason was alluded to above: I may have allowed myself to become busier than a so-called retiree should be. And while it’s taken somewhat longer than expected to re-acclimate myself to that type of operations tempo, I’m getting better at it. Besides, even bad days are good days when every day is a weekend, you love what you do, you’re doing the work God’s given you, and you’re helping make the world a better place.

I digress, which fits with that first installment of Transformation Tuesday: The Mind.

Many of my own problems are thinking problems: defective thinking, overthinking, not thinking, or thinking about the wrong things. Improving and maintaining mental wellness starts with transforming the mind.  

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, The Heart was the focus of the next Transformation Tuesday. In the figurative sense, hearts get broken.  In the literal sense, hearts are also broken by congenital disease. They can also become broken or defective because of infection, high blood pressure, high LDL cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, simple age-related degeneration, obesity, unhealthy diet, and physical inactivity.  Sometimes heartbreak and heart problems are unavoidable.  However, as poor decisions and bad relationships are to broken hearts, many physical heart problems are likewise preventable, the result of simple abuse or neglect. “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6.45). Make sure yours is healthy, happy, and full of the right stuff.

Holy Week and recently returning from a trip to Costa Rica provided the perfect opportunity to lament about our asinine human condition and highlight that not much has changed in 2000 years. Inspired by a preacher’s point once that ‘even the donkey’ knew fanfare at the triumphal entry wasn’t for him, but rather the one riding on his back, Even the Donkey Knows highlighted how careless, impetuous, fickle, and consumed with our own self-interests humans are. Animals, despite having no capacity for reason, remain extraordinarily perceptive. Humans, despite having great capacity to reason, remain extraordinarily self-absorbed and persist in a perpetual stupidity and a rebellion-repentance-restoration relationship with God. All those points were on full display in Costa Rica. This article, worthy of linking back to read in full, was ripe with firsthand observations, pictures, and ridiculous reminders from people behaving badly that not everything needs to be about us.  

The Parable of the Carafe was a leadership lesson in service and humility courtesy of Ms. Imelda, the master instructor. This unassuming Kansas City Marriott breakfast buffet hostess’s kindness and unselfish actions epitomized extraordinary service, singlehandedly preventing 100 caffeine dependent investigators from pummeling their course director. “Every organization in the world today should be teaching employees how to be extraordinary.” – Mark Sanborn.

Author with the extraordinary Ms. Imelda

A number of insightful comments and thought-provoking discussions while delivering training events in South America prompted me to write Changing the Gap Between Good and Evil next. Little has changed since the start of human history, evil in particular. As acquaintance, historian, author, and good friend of my dad, Michael Delaware, wrote in the introduction to his fascinating book Victorian Southwest Michigan True Crime, “…it is not the instrument of murder that holds any consistency, but the sinister impulse behind the criminal act wherein lies the true evil.” It takes a special person to stand in the gap betwen good and evil. I’m proud to have answered that call, and grateful for those peacemakers who continue fighting the good fight to restrain evil in the world.

As Far As the Eye Can See, rooted in the reliability of witness recollection and based on personally unreliable recall, it was just plain fun to write an reminisce. If you want a light read with a few good laughs at my expense, link back to it and give it a read.

The final essay of 2024, Go Sit on the Pot, both humorously and somewhat painfully illustrates the importance of dealing with constipation. Specifically emotional constipation. Failing to process emotions leads nowhere good and often involves off-ramping relationships by deflecting responsibility. But happiness, disposition, outlook, emotional, and physical well-being are individual responsibilities. So, if you’re constipated, emotionally or otherwise, take personal responsibility and action to fix it.  In other words, go sit on the pot. 

In summary, 2024 was a somewhat unexpected year of transition. A new role as training director coupled with increased private teaching and consulting resulted in over 90 days of business travel. As such, managing my schedule and finding balance again became a challenge. Thankfully, the blessing of leisure travel was largely unaffected, but the combined result was an unfortunate and unplanned decline in writing. However, I do sincerely hope the content that did make it to page the last 12 months was worthwhile.

Besides, all those experiences generated many ‘future article ideas’ for the coming year!

Nick Lavery wrote, “We cannot take our lives, our time, for granted. We must make every minute count…” He speaks with authority on that. Despite all odds against it, Nick not only survived being mortally wounded by machine gun fire, but he also successfully returned to full duty as the only above-the-knee amputee US Military Special Forces Operator. He chronicled the process of his success in the book Objective Secure, where he also advised to “persist despite achievement, stay determined in the face of success, move with a sense of purpose.” In other words, success or failure, never give up.

If it has to be one or the other, I will describe 2024 as a success. And I’m moving into 2025 with purpose, persistence, and determination. I hope you’ll stay with me along the way.

Happy New Year!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Comer, John (2021). The ruthless elimination of hurry. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook.

Delaware, M. (2024). Victorian southwest Michigan true crime. The History Press.

Lavery, N. (2022). Objective secure: the battle tested guide to goal achievement. Precision Components. 

Sanborn, Mark (2004). The Fred factor. New York, NY: Currency Doubleday. 

Even the Donkey Knows

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“Behold, your king is coming to you…humble and mounted on a donkey.” – Zech. 9.9

As the commemoration of Holy Week concluded (representing the span between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday), I reflected on a sermon I once heard wherein the preacher used details of the triumphal entry that first Palm Sunday to illustrate his lesson on humility: despite all the cheering and hullabaloo, the gentle and lowly king Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a simple and humble beast of burden. (Matt 21.1-11, Mark 11.1-11, Luke 19.28-40, John 12.12-19)

As humans, we desire affirmation and often envy the kind of attention given to Jesus that day. Yet sometimes it’s not about us. The preacher joked that even the donkey understood the fanfare wasn’t for him, but for the one on his back.

Animals are remarkably perceptive, so it’s not a stretch to believe that.

Humans are also perceptive. But we’re likewise careless, impetuous, fickle, and consumed with our own self-interests. You probably know well what happened in the week following that donkey ride. By week’s end, many of those celebrating Jesus’ arrival were silent, hiding, or even among those calling for his death.

Not much has changed in 2000 years. Animals, despite having no capacity for reason, remain extraordinarily perceptive. Humans, despite having great capacity to reason, remain extraordinarily self-absorbed and persist in a perpetual rebellion-repentance-restoration relationship with God. And all those points were on full display during a recent monthlong decampment blending business with pleasure, highlighted by a week in Costa Rica with friends.

Surely everyone traveling to Costa Rica has heard about the wildlife. Even the least amount of research into the area we stayed confirms the prevalence of monkeys (and other exotic animals) running amok around the property; including the possibility these little safe-cracking simians might help themselves to your belongings if the doors aren’t secured. We couldn’t wait to see for ourselves if the stories were true!

There are likewise ample warnings directing guests NOT to feed the animals. You see where this is going?

Many reasons exist not to feed wild animals, including much of what we eat is bad for them. Not to mention doing so only entices them to return for more. More often, and more aggressively.

Consider these firsthand examples.

While I certainly don’t care to snuggle with any, my experience is that iguanas typically mind their own business. In fact, they usually just ignore people or scurry away when we clumsily try to get as close as possible to take their photo. I don’t blame people for wanting to take photos…iguanas are beautiful, fascinating creatures. But sometimes it’s like watching a search warrant execution, except everyone’s wearing sunscreen and flip-flops. Just use the zoom feature, already!

Worse yet, occasionally there’s that one dude to whom the rules don’t apply and common sense persistently eludes. It happened this time to be the same dude who foolishly thought perhaps the friendly poolside iguana, just trying to mind his own business, would instead like a French fry. In pure poetic irony, everyone nearby was treated to several minutes of lively entertainment as Captain Ketchup scrambled off his palapa, squealing like a teenage girl, while the iguana quite aggressively came back for seconds. And thirds. You’ll be happy to know the iguana was fine, and that good old Crinkle Fry there was later heard to say “I guess that’s why we’re not supposed to feed the animals.”

Don’t be that guy.

Then there’s what Alfred Hitchcock tried to warn us about. Loud, obnoxious, and known to suddenly perch on heads of unsuspecting diners or snatch food right off their plate, the birds were perhaps most annoying. Yet giggling guests continue feeding them.

And of course, the monkeys.

It wasn’t uncommon to encounter them in trees throughout the resort. But the sight of dozens scampering across railings on every level of main lodge balconies each morning was like something straight out of Jungle Book. King Louie had nothing on these primates.

In fact, one morning from the sidewalk below, several of us were caught between curiosity and incredulousness as we watched a young lady precariously suspended from her balcony. Holding on with one hand, she dangled part of her breakfast in the other as she stretched toward a monkey on an adjacent railing.

At least two thoughts crossed my mind in that moment: 1) she’s probably someone to whom things like using turn signals, returning shopping carts to the corral, not texting and driving, waiting their turn to exit the aircraft, or not feeding the animals are merely suggestions not to be taken seriously; and 2) I wonder which one of us is going to call the ambulance?

Fortunately, the girl didn’t plummet to her death, wasn’t bitten, and the monkey didn’t eat from her hand.

But our proclivity toward stupidity and the problem of feeding animals persists.

We hadn’t seen monkeys on our own balcony until our last morning, so it was as if they’d read the daily departures log and came to bid us farewell. It was fun watching them drink from the jacuzzi spout and search the veranda for scraps we may have left behind. We personally confirmed they do, in fact, know how to operate the sliding doors. While ours was latched making for an unsuccessful break-in, one did slip in through our neighbor’s door long enough to swipe some sugar packets off their table. Shortly thereafter, I saw his buddy grasping a bag of peanut M&Ms lifted from another room.

Amusing as it was to watch their antics, I was irritated and grew even more concerned for their wellbeing as I watched one on the patio tentatively, yet persistently, trying to eat something unrecognizable, disgusting, and probably not from nature. The impact of careless, self-absorbed humans consumed only with their own amusement continues contributing to the problem. We should instead be part of the solution.

There is hope.

The monkeys there are skittish and reluctant to accept food from people; and the iguanas just want to be left alone. Like the donkey knew the fanfare wasn’t his, these animals know our food isn’t theirs.

Unlike wild animals, humans should know better; we have the capacity to think and reason. Perhaps over time, if we stop feeding them, they’ll be reconditioned (and stop telling their friends where all the loot is). The least we can do is leave them alone and just appreciate their beauty and unique place in nature.

Not everything needs to be about us.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Special thanks to Cupine Farm and the McCarthys for the cover photo of Jarvis setting the horses straight, and for another memorable trip.

“Please Don’t Feed the Animals” – The Management

*If you’d like to know more about Jesus or the meaning of Palm Sunday and Easter, please contact me. Or consider reading the New Testament Gospel According to John.

Transformation Tuesday: The Heart

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This week we’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day, now a largely romantic holiday of debatable history widely thought to have originated from a martyred Christian named Saint Valentine.  Certainly well-meaning in its modern adaptation – I mean, who couldn’t use a little more love, romance, and heart-shaped chocolates in their life? – it’s the human heart that is the focus of this Transformation Tuesday.  

In the figurative sense, hearts get broken, and like other holidays this can be a tough one for many.  In the literal sense hearts can also be broken due to congenital disease. They can also become broken, or defective, as a result of infection, high blood pressure, high LDL cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, simple age-related degeneration, obesity, unhealthy diet, and physical inactivity.  Some heartbreak and some heart problems are unavoidable.  However, as poor decisions and bad relationships can lead to broken hearts, many physical heart problems are likewise preventable; the result of simple abuse or neglect.  

What: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4.23)

How: Be physically active, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, eat healthy while adhering to reasonable portion control. Or as my friends over at On Target Living say: Rest | Eat | Move. It is perhaps equally as important to avoid those foods, activities, and people that aren’t good for you. 

Why: The heart is at the center of our being: physically and emotionally. From attitude to energy to relationships, everything else is impacted when our heart isn’t working like it should.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6.45)

Make sure yours is healthy, happy, and full of the right stuff.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.  

Happy Father’s Day!

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Wishing dads and father figures everywhere a blessed Father’s Day today. As my friend and author of the book MAN Up!, Mike Winter, recently said, “The best decision a father can make on Father’s Day is to double down on being the man God called him to be in his home so that he has the best possibility of raising godly children.”

And for those who are now without theirs, my prayer is that they simply await a sweet reunion with you in the presence of the Heavenly Father, who is always with you. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deut. 31.8)

Broken Together: Can Grace, Mercy, Commitment, and Forgiveness Save Your Fairytale?

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Listen along to the audio version here.

Have you heard ‘bad things come in threes’ or ‘the power of threes’ in business and leadership? I often use a ‘three points’ approach when public speaking. Conveniently, three timely things helped bring this essay to life: a wedding anniversary, a song, and a holiday. Honestly, I prefer to set this subject matter aside for another time (or not at all) because I know there are some who will get the wrong idea, be hurt, offended, or tempted to judge me. But my mind keeps returning to it, so I’m stuck like a worm on a hook: squirming around…about to be in over my head.

I missed when news recently broke of an affair between two popular television personalities. Other than sorrow over more broken families, it doesn’t impact me. But it is a public and familiar reminder of our overall brokenness. And conveniently helps weave my three points together.

First, my wife and I recently celebrated 32 years of marriage. If you’ve read the ‘About the Author’ segment of this site or heard me talk, you’ll note I reference ‘miraculous’ to describe the longevity of my marriage. A 32-year marriage is somewhat statistically uncommon today. Consider this exemplification: a while back I was catching up with an old military friend. During our conversation he asked how many kids I have. When I said “three”, he promptly and in all sincerity asked, “All with the same woman?!?”

While all that may appear mildly noteworthy, my use of ‘miraculous’ is a bit of an understatement. I’m a complete wretch…which is NOT statistically uncommon.

As such, even though our marriage is still relatively intact, we’ve been through some stuff. Lots of stuff. Thankfully, I am married to an uncommonly gracious and committed wife, and I have a savior who is even more merciful and forgiving than she is.

And both know how broken I am.

Second, Casting Crowns has an excellent song titled Broken Together that I again heard around the time of the ‘breaking news’. Here are the lyrics (choruses eliminated for brevity):

What do you think about when you look at me? I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be. You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand. And we dove into a mystery.

How I wish we could go back to simpler times. Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light. Now on this hallowed ground we’ve drawn the battle lines. Will we make it through the night?

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

Chorus: Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together? If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine, could healing still be spoken and save us? The only way we’ll last forever, is broken together.

How it must have been so lonely by my side. We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind. I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align, and we won’t give up the fight.

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

(Chorus x 2)

I come from a broken home. Divorce sucks. Many of my friends and relatives ended up in broken homes. I’m the last person entitled to sermonize right or wrong ways of handling marriage or relationships. I’m absolutely not condemning anyone who’s had multiple marriages or children with different parents. In no way am I being critical of past decisions, those made beyond one’s control, doing whatever was necessary to stay safe, or any one of 100 other scenarios resulting in fractured families. I don’t know what others have been through, experienced, or might now be going through. Any one of those scenarios could easily be mine.

I write this based on my personal experiences and past. My experience is that while it may be necessary or even justified, divorce complicates everything: finances, raising children, school activities, kids sports, relationships, weddings, funerals, and even holidays. Especially holidays. The first time I ever heard my dad cry was when I was a child and we missed a family Christmas. He tried desperately to manage everything and make it special for us kids, but by the time he picked us up from my mom’s and got to my uncle’s house, they had already celebrated without us. He was crushed.

I’m not suggesting it’s okay to do whatever we want or to be unconcerned with the consequences of our actions. That sort of moral relativism is as ill-advised as being self-righteous. Sadly, both are as pervasive today as in ancient times, and bring me to my last point.

Christmas is coming.

Perfection is God’s standard for salvation, which is impossible for humans. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, the Messiah. God’s Son born into the world to be a perfect and final sacrifice some 33-years later. Atonement for an imperfect world.

The only answer to this enormous mess that selfish, unfaithful, broken, untrustworthy humans made of everything is a Savior.

I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. Nothing here is intended to be personal or hurtful. No matter what we think of ourselves compared to others, we’re all equally defective. Each of us is as morally guilty as any other transgressor. “Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2.10); “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (Rom 3.10, Ps. 14.3; 53.3)

Brant Hansen puts is this way: “Whatever anyone’s done to me, or to anyone else, I stand just as guilty. People have lied to me, but I’ve lied too. People have been unfaithful to me, but I’ve been unfaithful too. People have hurt me, and I’ve hurt them.”

Why should anyone be surprised when someone they love does something that hurts them?

Faith is a journey. I suggest the same is true of relationships. “God delights in making something beautiful out of something broken.” – Pastor Don Denyes

Don’t give up!

And don’t miss the reason for the season. “For unto us a child is born…” (Isa. 9.6).

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Source: Musixmatch. Songwriters: Bernie Herms / John Mark Hall. Broken Together lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, G650 Music, Pure Note Music, Songs Of Universal Inc. View the official lyric video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAvPDgKf30

vultures perched on leafless tree under blue sky

Vultures Will Gather

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I recently read a passage in the Gospel of Matthew I struggled to make sense of, which is not unusual. There are many things I don’t yet understand about God and his word. But I’m okay with that…a divine Creator completely understood within human reason wouldn’t be much of a god, anyway. A. W. Tozer seemed to relate a similar issue when he wrote, “Evils…will seem evils only because we cannot read the secret script of God’s hidden providence.”1

The passage contained this verse: “Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.” (Matt. 24.28)

Coincidentally and perhaps not-so-completely-unrelated, I first learned about Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) in college Spanish one long-ago fall semester. As I write this it’s Halloween time. I’m embarrassed to admit I used to confuse the two very different holidays.

A traditionally Mexican holiday celebrated within the first days of November, Dia de los Muertos is a time-honored observance of both life and death, abundant with bright colors, music, food, drink, and expressions of love and respect to honor the souls of deceased loved ones.

On the other hand, if ever existed any redeeming aspect of honoring saints at Halloween, that’s largely devolved to themes of frightening costumes, dubious behavior, witches, mayhem, and yes…death.

*Not an actual carcass or crime scene

Watch any old western and you’ll learn circling buzzards mean carcasses nearby. There isn’t space here to deep-dive my theological confusion, but it appears Matthew’s passage, like Luke 17, points to the end times and coming of God’s Kingdom. The widespread carnage, stench of death, and vultures everywhere will evidence the judgment.

But wildfowl aren’t the only creatures attracted to death or affliction. Metaphorically, human vultures are often busy circling, fascinated with the macabre and eager to prey on the downtrodden. I once had to fight off a vulturous hoodlum bent on ridding an unconscious victim of his wallet, even as paramedics and I worked to save his life.

And these familiar buzzards: ambulance-chasing attorneys lining their pockets with the currency of others’ misfortune; slippery televangelists milking the last few dollars of unsuspecting God-seekers; heirs historically uninvolved, conspicuously motivated when estates are settled; rubbernecking gore-mongers jamming traffic and compounding mayhem, instead of minding their own driving; or streaming fanatics unable to find anything as entertaining as bingeing the latest true crime show or similar exploitation of human anguish.

Incorrect assumptions, uninformed assertions, irresponsible gossip, careless rumors, and outright slander are especially hurtful, and too often the hallmarks of human vultures in our lives. Unlike the telltale orbit of winged predators, these ‘birds’ are especially hurtful and negligent because their plundering too often happens behind the backs of their troubled, downcast, or otherwise vulnerable prey.

Fortunately, not all are quite so iniquitous. Like colleagues circling your office or siblings dive-bombing your bedroom ready to snatch whatever goods and chattels might be up for grabs upon your departure. Of course, it’s possible you’ve just overstayed your welcome and they’re just waiting for the smelly log jam of ‘dead wood’ to clear…

Vultures will gather. So what’s a cadaver to do?

  1. Live. One sure way not to be a target of vultures is to not be dead. Be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually alive. Stay busy. Exercise, go for walks, read, pray, listen to music, sing, dance. Enjoy life and appreciate God’s beauty in people and the world.
  2. Love. Few people, even buzzards, wake up in the morning determined to hurt others. Maybe they’re oblivious to the pain they cause, or they just don’t care. Either way, that’s their issue…not yours. We have no idea what may be going on their life or the personal demons they fight. Maybe it’s divorce, addiction, abuse, illness, death of a loved one. Instead of being just another angry bird, be kind and compassionate. There’s a local business nearby that routinely employs people down on their luck or with checkered pasts. Affectionately referred to as ‘reclamation projects’, they help people when everyone else has given up on them. Second chances are part of their organizational culture and something we can all learn from. Everyone stumbles. Instead of throwing the ‘baby’ we once esteemed out with the bathwater, remember and appreciate all the positive things they’ve done. Just love them and give them the chance to keep doing great things.
  3. Laugh. Don’t take yourself so seriously…laughter is good medicine! Jump in a pile of leaves, play games, dress up for Halloween. A youthful heart beats strong and crow’s feet are much more attractive from smiling than stress.
  4. Learn from the goose. Buzzards are solitary, opportunistic predators. Geese, on the other hand, fly together, share responsibility for leading the flock, and care for one another when sick or wounded. That’s leadership 101…and pretty good relationship advice, too.
  5. Lean into God’s hidden providence. It’s easy to set our faith aside when things are going well, but the time to become acquainted isn’t in the midst of catastrophe. Seek to know God better now, and more will be revealed; in good times and bad. Walk by faith, not by sight…God is in control.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

The vultures didn’t mind the slow service.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/top-ten-day-of-dead-mexico

https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween

1Jeremiah, David (2014).  Quest devotional seeking God daily. San Diego, CA: Turning Point.