Egos & Empires

I recently attended the retirement celebration of a former supervisor, colleague, and long-time friend. It is not an understatement to say he defines what a great leader should be. He’s visionary, courageous, decisive, passionate, genuine, caring, and humble to a fault. For instance, his estimation that a lack of interest in attending would result in cancellation of the festivities couldn’t have been more wrong. The formal program lasted easily more than three hours, due to the high number of presenters showering him with gifts and publicly testifying to this man’s impact on their lives and careers. Each speaker offered an oration intended to communicate that which could never be done adequately; what an amazing human being and leader he is.

I am not exaggerating when I say this man is unanimously regarded as one of the most (if not THE most) respected leaders in recent history of his organization. To put that into perspective, consider this: I help facilitate a three-week leadership course sponsored by a leading international police organization. It has been administered twice a year in my organization since 2012, accounting for over 500 participants so far. Non-attribution is one of the rules of engagement, wherein participants sharing examples of horrible bosses are not to identify said example. However, when leaders or situations defining great leadership are shared, names are permitted. The man I write of is mentioned by name easily tenfold more often than anyone else as epitomizing great leadership. Tenfold is probably an understatement. This man doesn’t just talk the talk, he walks it.

I’m not certain whether his quintessential leadership aplomb is conscious and deliberate, or just a natural byproduct of genuinely caring about people. Either way, that’s how it should be done.

Influential leaders inspire others to follow, regardless of the rank or position they hold. Poor leaders, task masters, and leadership ‘posers’ use rank, position, power, control and intimidation to compel others to follow them. There’s often an obvious lack of loyalty to any position, specialty, boss, or colleague in favor of the next promotion…again regardless of the position, speciality, boss, or colleague. We often see them smugly look down their nose as they over-estimate their own importance and qualifications while underestimating their subordinates’; arbitrarily or unnecessarily change structure or policy; or spew laudatory comparisons between themselves and truly great leaders as if they, themselves, sould be considered in the same realm. The reality is that most aren’t even in the same solar system. I’m not sure which is worse: a person who falsely believes they are a great leader and thus sees no need to change, or the person who doesn’t care whether they are or not.

Sadly, they are often recognized by the debris field of broken spirits and shattered career aspirations they leave behind as they move through the organization. For it is in their zeal to advance their own agenda, add to their bankroll, increase their status, keep shining subordinates whom they feel threatened by appropriately oppressed, or build a personal empire that these types of ‘leaders’ leave a wake of destruction behind. You know the cliche…managers manage things; leaders lead people. They’re not leaders.

When a leader truly cares about people, those people’s careers, and how the two can be married-to-the-mission in a win-win for all, moving up the corporate ladder is only and always a means for making people and the organization better through wider influence. It’s never about themselves.

I’ve heard you should be careful who you step on during your climb to the top, because you’ll need those people when you get there, and you’re surely going pass them again on your way down. Chances are pretty good they’ll remember how you treated them.

So how can organizations can stop the hemorrhaging of decent, high quality, hardworking, dedicated people from the organization? I’m talking about the ones tired of being victimized, under appreciated, and underutilized by mangers like that…often in favor of inexperienced, under qualified ‘in-groupers’ simply because they’ve had a sponsor helping them along in the organization. I would love to know your thoughts.

The respected leader I started with built an empire of respect, caring, professionalism, and adoration. He leaves a legacy, quite unintentionally, made up of followers who would do just that – follow him. Anywhere, anytime, and under any circumstance. I pray for more leaders like that in every organization so at some point in the future, empires built of egos, on foundations of self-serving motives, fall into extinction. When that happens, those who rise to prominence simply by knowing the right people – and caring about none – will cease to prosper.

Better still, that they would humble themselves and become leaders worthy of their position and responsibility.

Like Kevin.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Wakes of Destruction (video preview)

Have you ever watched someone ascend through the ranks or climb the corporate ladder by impressing all the right people, all while leaving a wake of human destruction behind them? Enjoy this video preview of what I’ll be writing about my next article. #leadership #beyondstrengkth

New Beginnings

“Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.” – Ecclesiastes 11.7

As last year closes, many of us will use the breaking of this new one to try to leave disappointments, failures, unrealized goals, and pain behind.  We breach the new almanac with renewed optimism, commitment, and focus.  Likely today, we are all-in for a new beginning. 

While we may start off the New Year fired up with ‘guns-a-blazin’, the reality is that ‘resolution’ will be little more than cliché as a large majority of us will lose focus and fall back into the demotivation, destructive habits, thinking traps, or emotional constipation/diarrhea (each equally unpleasant!) within a few weeks.  

So what’s the answer?  Heck, I don’t know.  If I had a nickel for every time some so-called expert, ‘life-coach’, or fitness guru whose only job is to work out all day told me all I had to do is…[fill in the blank], I’d be rich.  Take it from an average-at-best schmo who does have a day job; can’t be in the gym all day and wouldn’t get paid to be even if he could be there all day; isn’t in this for money, fame, or his own talk show; is admittedly simple-minded and really just wants to help.  There’s much to learn from other people’s mistakes and life experiences, and I think we can help each other get and stay motivated. 

I need plenty of help, myself.  If you’ve read my previous articles or checked out the Home, About Beyond Strength, and About the Author links on the website, you’ll understand this is as much about working on myself as it is helping others.  I also know from decades of investigating violent crimes, playing & coaching sports, and serving in the military that success is a team sport.  In fact, I have an entire speech queued at any given time on the importance of teamwork.  I’ll spare you that narrative here, but as someone who’s about as messed up and needy as anyone out there, I’m confident we can help each other get beyond some things, get over ourselves, and get on with our lives in the New Year.     

Physical wellness:

Be consistent, no matter your current level of physical fitness.  If you need to start somewhere, start small.  Build your consistency by creating a habit.  If you’re just getting started or restarted, commit to just walking 15-20 minutes two or three times a week.  Treadmill, indoors, or outdoors are all fine.  Walk at a pace that is more than lollygagging but less than a jog.  In other words, maintain a pace that requires some effort and elevates your heart rate a bit.  On a treadmill, I expect on average that’s somewhere between 2.5 and 4 mph.  As you begin to feel better, healthier, and more energetic, add time or distance.  Stretching and yoga are also great ways to get more active. 

If you are already well-along or more advanced physically, renew your commitment…and stick to it.  I have found success getting up 45 minutes earlier than normal and knocking it out in the morning.  It’s too easy to get distracted or exhausted after a long day and end up blowing it off.  

For ideas on fitness training, the internet is plentiful.  There’s a great article on the Air Force Marathon website about slowing down to avoid strain and build your endurance engine.  Or feel free to visit the Fitness & Workouts link on my website for ideas, read my previous article On Fitness, or email me.

Emotional/Spiritual wellness:

Again, be consistent.  Avoid the desire to be constantly ‘plugged-in’.  Rest, quiet your mind, take walks in nature, laugh, pray, read, forgive (others & yourself).  For some book ideas, see my recommended reading list. 

Vocational wellness:

Commit to doing your best every day.  That doesn’t include comparing yourself to others, gossiping about coworkers, participating in (or creating) an office drama club.  It simply means ending each day confident that you gave your best effort.  You don’t ever have to be the most highly educated or talented person to be happy, contribute, or make a difference.  Here’s a list one of my good friends and mentors shared during a 2016 command senior enlisted conference.  I’ve seen other variations of it, and I’ve added a few points of my own.  

Things that require zero talent:

Being on time; work ethic; effort; energy; passion; coachability; being prepared; doing more than expected; gratitude; attitude; respect; compassion.

My goals this year include what’s above, as well as reaching more people, hearing from more people, loving more people, helping more people.  I hope you have a plan for the New Year, as well.  And that it includes making yourself and the world a little better each day. 

“A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others.  Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” – David Jeremiah

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

Happy New Year!

Preparing for Mistakes

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Martin Fanbee is quoted by then Colonel David L. Goldfein in his book Sharing Success Owning Failure as saying “Learn from the mistakes of others.  You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”  I’m making more than my fair share…so you’re welcome.

Mistakes are not only the result of weakness and poor decisions, but also the result of failing to prepare.  I left off last time talking about being prepared, as well as the consequences of being unprepared.  Our failure to prepare often results in discomfort at best and utter chaos, disaster, or severe heartache at worst.

Thanks to a televised Janet Jackson incident some years ago, I now know the proper terminology for my many embarrassing clothing mishaps.  On the ‘discomfort’ end, being unprepared for wardrobe malfunctions has resulted in my tie in the toilet while pulling up my pants, a favorite tie in the shredder while still attached to my neck, and not having any tie at a black-tie affair.  Toward the other extreme, being unprepared to raise children resulted in many missteps, mistakes, and missed opportunities; and the realization I probably should have waited until age 50 to have them.  Of course, I never would have won an arm-wrestling match if that were the case.

I have spent nearly my entire life preparing my body to withstand a career in the profession of arms, to be functionally fit, and to feel good about the way I look when I pass by a full-length mirror naked.  I have likewise tried to prepare my mind for critical thinking and vocational success by gaining wisdom and knowledge.  And I have spent a good deal of time helping others do likewise.  But despite all that, I remain insecure and emotionally unprepared in many ways.  These weaknesses sometimes lead to carelessly being drawn into situations I know better to avoid.

Similar to preparing for cold weather by wearing bread bags in your boots, string mittens, and so many layers of winter clothes that there would be little need for side-impact airbags in your car, maybe preparing for life involves putting on a few things.  Things like armor…literally and metaphorically; physically and emotionally.

Literature convinces us that in medieval times, knights were powerful symbols of bravery and nobility.  But a knight wasn’t a knight overnight.  It took years of training, learning, and preparation.  The page learned from the squire, who learned from the knight.  The knight prepared and affirmed his commitment to knighthood by learning and living chivalrous knighthood ideals such as being brave in battle; loyal to God and King; willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. And to be merciful, humble, courteous, gracious, and gentle.  I read somewhere that ‘not all knights were great men, but all great men were knights!’

Armor provides a great metaphor for the importance of preparation…even better than your mom’s recommendation of always wearing clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.  There’s perhaps no better rendering than that of Apostle Paul in the sixth chapter of Ephesians when it comes to preparing for life.  He used the battle dress of the Roman soldier as his object lesson, but we can relate in the same way to today’s law enforcement officer or military fighter.

It begins with being ready to stand firm under pressure (also mentioned in a previous article).  It is followed by donning the proper equipment (or pieces of armor), each one serving a literal protective purpose and metaphorically representing spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical protections.  The first is the ‘belt of truth’; used by the soldier to mount weapons, secure garments, and protect or ‘gird’ the loins and lower body.  We all have secrets in dark places we never want revealed.  But spiritual truth is needed in a dark world.  “In the long run, it matters little what others say or think; it matters a great deal whether or not truth stands.” – Wendell L. Miller

The next few pieces are the breastplate (body armor), protective footwear (practical to the situation), the shield, and the helmet (headgear).  Each one representing a facet of spiritual faith and practical physical use…and each defensive in nature.  The last piece Paul cites happens also to be the only offensive piece of equipment – the sword (duty weapon).

We could go much deeper here, but I’m sure you get the picture.  Sure, you visualized them at least once through all that looking exhausted from battle and caked with dust and dripping with sweat, blood and tears.  But think of them all cleaned up, standing tall and proud, crisp and ready for inspection.  There’s nothing like a man or woman in uniform.  They look pretty damn good, right?!  A regular knight in shining armor…

But beware, trusted caballeros.  When one puts on all that shiny armor, there may be a certain visual appeal that draws attention that may become a stumbling block for the weak or unprepared.  If you are prepared for random notes on your car, impromptu show-ups, and terms of endearment like ‘Muffin Tushy’ or ‘Applesauce’, then not to worry.  If you’re not, I guess you’re more like I’ve been much of my life than you care to be and we’re back to paragraphs one through four.

I am my greatest adversary.  I need to prepare better.  I need the Armor of God.

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

Goldfein, D. L. (2001). Sharing success owning failure-preparing to command in the twenty-first century Air Force. Maxwell AFB, AL: Air University Press.

 

 

 

Seasons of Change

As colder weather rolls into Michigan, I am reminded how much I dislike it. But it occurs to me that I haven’t always disliked it. In fact, I’m pretty sure I used to love playing in the snow and staying out in the cold until my extremities were numb and snotsicles bridged the gap between my nostrils and upper lip.  And it wasn’t too long ago that I remember poking fun at my dad and other ‘old people’ because of their intolerance of the cold and propensity to leave us all behind as they fled south for months at a time.  Deep down I’m sure it was just envy…for not having the freedom myself to disappear to the land of milk and honey (or is it Geritol and ginger-ale?) for months at a time.  And although I don’t see him nearly as often as I should in the months he’s nearby, the bigger reason for my deflections-disguised-as-harassment-about-the-weather is simply that I miss him while he’s so far away.  Perhaps a little reluctant to admit I am starting share his disdain for the cold, too.

It’s true…as if right on schedule to reinforce the irony of it all, I am finding the older I get, the less I care for the cold.  And the more I’m saddened to say that I, too, may soon appreciate the simplicity of Velcro shoes and the golf cart as a primary mode of transit.  So as I try to do in other areas of my life (at least better than I used to), I am taking a hard look at why I have done things, why I do things, or why I feel the way I do about certain things.  Nature’s changing season is just the latest timely reminder of my own changing nature.

In the Midwest, the thick heat of summer gives way to the crispness of autumn air.  It blesses us with the splendor of colorful leaves, tastes of cider, and the smell of pumpkin spice.  Another blessing of this change in season is the transition itself.  Not only does the transition prepare the environment for the harshness of winter, it similarly prepares us by moving our bodies from dramatic heat to bitter cold by gradual acclimation as we pass through a milder autumn.

So what’s the problem?  With that reasoning I should have no problem acclimating to the biting wind, cold, snow, and other extremes of winter.  I think one the things it boils down to is preparation; wearing the right clothes the right way, having the right equipment and resources, and having the right attitude.  I have concluded that when facing extremes – whether in life, temporary circumstances, or environment – an increase in discomfort often involves a decrease in (or lack of) preparation.

Consider this.  If you grew up in a ‘four-season’ part of the world, you probably had a mom, dad, grandparent or other adult who bundled you up like the Michelin Man before going out in the cold, making you virtually impervious to the elements.  I remember everything from the mittens attached by a string running from one sleeve to another, to wearing bread bags on my feet inside my boots to keep my feet toasty and dry (personally I think my mom was conducting some early study in the greenhouse effect with those bags).  But those things worked.  Buttoned up, zipped up, no exposed skin.  Hats, mittens, scarfs, the right coat, pants, socks, boots, and long underwear.  You could stay out for hours and not be bothered by the coldest of days.  Even now, when I actually wear appropriate clothing and accessories for the conditions, the weather really doesn’t bother me so much.

The problem is I usually don’t.  I don’t prepare properly.  I don’t wear the nice warm stocking cap because it will mess up my hair.  I don’t wear the thick socks and warm boots because they’re cumbersome, uncomfortable, and it’s just a pain to change into other shoes when I get to my destination.  I seldom wear gloves, scarf, or even zip my coat up.  Is it any wonder I have started to dislike cold weather?  I should either dress for the weather or stop complaining about it.  And while I think there are a few other lessons we can take from this, I want to keep this at a reasonable length, respecting your time and attention.  So with the assurance to continue this subject in a second part soon to come, let me wrap up with these points.

In the same way the changing seasons prepare us for more extreme conditions yet to come, and properly outfitting ourselves prepares us for the extreme conditions we venture out into, properly preparing ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and socially can help us through some of the extreme conditions of life.

Until the next edition, prepare for the changing season by bundling up, wrapping up, zipping up, breaking out your bread bags, and above all never forgetting how much fun it was to be a child.  Keep that youthful spirit alive!

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3.1)

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

Strength that Stands

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Stand fast is defined, in part, as to firmly remain in the same position or cease all action immediately.  I’ve heard it widely used in military life in a few contexts, the most common to me of waiting to move after a preparatory command was already given…sometimes seemingly as if to test the formation to see who’s going to be the one to flinch: “Flight, Attention!  Forward…Stand Fast!”  You don’t want to be the one who false starts and then fumbles around trying to reset as if no one noticed the ONLY body cavorting around in a sea of stalwarts.

For this article, the standing fast to which I refer is similar, but more akin to standing firm…in strength, power, resoluteness, faith; the kind of strength to carry on when it would be easier to just roll over.  It’s the kind of strength that when the whole world or the gallery of so-called experts, know-it-alls, or haters (as today’s generation might call them) tells you to just give up and get out of the way, you stand firm and say “No, you move…I’m not giving up…I’m strong…I’m a survivor…I’m a conqueror.”  Standing firm in this way takes a different kind of strength than we typically think of.

A recent quiet time illustrated two divergent types of strength – active and passive – that might help clarify my point.  As I thought through the author’s analogies and applied them to my own life, I began to appreciate the need for each at different times in our lives.  The author, Harold Cooke Phillips, said it better than I ever could, so I’ll let him handle this.

“Sometimes nothing is harder in life than just to endure.  There are two types of of strength.  There is the strength of the wind that sways the mighty oak, and there is the strength of the oak that withstands the power of the wind.  There is the strength of the locomotive that pulls the heavy train across the bridge, and there is the strength of the bridge that holds up the weight of the train.  One is active strength, the other is passive strength; one is the power to keep going, the other is the power to keep still; one the strength by which we overcome, the other is the strength by which we endure.”

Sixteen years ago, a healthy, active 13 year old attended his local county fair to watch the motocross races.  He left the fair in a helicopter, critically injured, unconscious, with a depressed skull fracture and his life would never be the same.

This young man is one of my nephews.  He and another spectator were struck by an out-of-control cycle that left the track.  When my dad’s call woke me in the middle of that July night and he told me what happened, he said things ‘didn’t look good’.  My nephew remained critical and comatose for weeks.  He was ultimately transferred to a renowned rehabilitation hospital where he eventually regained consciousness.

Through faith, prayers, amazing staff, rigorous physical and speech therapy, and his incredible resilience, he finally started to look at people, move his lips, and comprehend things again. He gradually improved, spending many months in a wheelchair, followed by a walker (neither of which he uses today).  Through God’s amazing healing power, tremendous medical care, his incredible strength, and the loving support of many, he eventually went home.  In June 2007, my nephew graduated with honors from high school and later from Michigan Career & Technical Institute.

The damage his brain suffered from the injury had lasting effects on his speech and his right extremities, but that doesn’t slow him down.  He’s a husband and father, and is as fun-loving and quick-witted as ever.  He is strong, hard-working, and an inspiration to me and many others because of the person he is and the example he sets with his huge smile and easy-going disposition.  Every chance he gets, he goes out of his way to text, call, or visit with friends and family.  While it was tough early on to see the impact this had on him and his family, I am so proud of the man he has become.  Some of the things I truly enjoy in life are the rare occasions to lock arms with him to help navigate a set of stairs or other challenging terrain, and being the recipient of the smiles, hugs,  and “I love you”s that he unashamedly doles out…the way more of us should.

My nephew’s life has been a case study in both the strength to endure and the strength to overcome mentioned above.  He continues to be one of the strongest people I know.

“The physical strength of a person must always be added to the strength of his or her soul and power for marshaling the resources of truth, righteousness, and love.” – J. Richard Spann

Get Strong.  Be Strong.  Stay Strong.

It is my honor to dedicate this article during National Disability Employment Awareness Month to him and all those who stand strong and persevere through their disabilities, setting an example for us all.

https://www.dol.gov/odep/topics/ndeam/index-2018.htm

Hunsberger, E. & Nygaard, N. (2002). Strength for service: daily devotional messages for those in the service of others updated edition. Franklin, TN: Providence House.

The Character of Leadership

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I’ve had a number of people ask if my recent retirement speech was recorded.  To my knowledge it was not.  For this post, I’m sharing the text from which I spoke.

DISCLAIMER: What follows may not contain everything that was said, nor was everything written here necessarily shared during the live recitation.  Also please note this is slightly longer than I prefer for posting on this blog.  However, I hope you’ll find it worth the extra few minutes to read.

Military retirement speech delivered August 4, 2018 at Battle Creek, Michigan:

When I was young I wanted to be a radio broadcaster like my dad. But after coming to terms with the realization that I look and sound like Howdy Doody, I figured a career in the profession of arms was the next best thing.

I’ve been very blessed over a career that started in 1986. I can tell you honestly that despite some missteps here and there, I always tried to be the very best leader I could be, trying never to forget who I was or where I came from…whether as an M-60 machine gunner; as a fire-team or squad leader; or ‘the enlisted leader’ of 2300 or so Airmen.

During my career(s), I’ve seen and done things many people will never have the opportunity to see or do. Quite frankly, some things no one should see or do.  The thing is, when you spend your entire career solving other people’s problems, you tend to ignore your own. And unlike wine or cheese, problems don’t get better with age.

So despite reaching heights I never imagined as an Airman and leader, I’ll tell you honestly that I have not always been the man I should have been. I’m a living example that a person can be quite successful in their life and career, yet still be plagued by unresolved issues or personal demons living in the shadows of their soul.  If you knew even half of the dumb things I have done, there’d be about three people in the audience right now.

But I’m glad you’re here to help celebrate my military retirement.  And since you ARE here, I’d like to share share some things about a few leaders I’ve known who made a difference in my life & career.

In 1987, and again in 1989, I was selected to compete on the security police team in Strategic Air Command’s Combat Weapons Loading competition ‘Giant Sword’.  I’m not going to lie…it was a pretty big deal.  And to be picked twice was ‘off the hook’ as the kids say.  Do the kids still say that?

After the 1987 competition in Spokane, Washington, I was chosen to toast the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force (CMSAF) because I was the lowest ranking person at the table…maybe the whole room.   I was a nervous, skinny 20 year old kid trying to speak in a room of about 500 people, with no microphone.  I was shaking; my voice was quivering.  I felt like a fool. I sat down relieved it was over. A few minutes later, one of the servers came over and handed me a note. It was from CMSAF James Binnicker, the man I had just toasted. If you haven’t figured it out, he was kind of a big deal! The note read “Thanks for the toast, Airman! By the way, your fly is down.”  As far as I remember my fly wasn’t down, but he knew I needed to be encouraged. His actions and words revealed the character of his leadership.

Fast forward to 1989. I was the top graduate from NCO prep course; I had been chosen as Airman of the month and of the quarter; I was promoted ahead of my peers (below-the-zone); I had been kicking a**… I mean, I was doing really well on all my job qualification testing.  I was on a pretty incredible run for a couple of years, and in case you haven’t figured this out yet, I was kind of a big deal!

So there I am one day somewhere in between all this, leaning against the shack of my assigned flight-line gate when a patrol car rolls up.  It’s driven by a NCO I recognized, but he wasn’t in my chain of command and he never impressed me much, anyway.  Maybe he hadn’t heard, but I was kind of a big deal.  My grandma would have said I was a little too big for my britches…and she’d have been right.

I peeled myself from he side of the shack and sauntered over to his patrol car wearing my best pair of Army gloves (I had my hands in pockets). One DOES NOT do this as a Security Forces Defender. Ever.  Especially on post.  I casually, borderline disrespectfully, ask “Hey what’s up?”, to which he asks “Why don’t you go over to the other side of the car and ask that?”

I peered through the window as I walked around the back of the car and saw the passenger was Chief Master Sergeant Rochelle. A feared man from Little Rock, Arkansas, Rochelle literally WAS a big deal.  I reached his door, snapped to attention, and delivered the requisite reporting statement…”Sir, Airman Eddy reports post Foxtrot Two all secure. Would you like a post briefing?”  The chief stared through me and replied ”I was actually stopping to tell you what a great job you’ve been doing lately, but I think I’ll hold off on that for now.” They drove off and left me standing alone at the position of attention in a cloud of dust. I was mortified…what an idiot I was.

A week or so later Chief Rochelle came through my entry control point in the weapon storage area. I again snapped to attention and reported my post: “Sir, Airman Eddy reports ECP Whiskey Three all secure, would you like a post briefing…?”  I apologized for my miscue during his last encounter with me. He said all kinds of nice things about me and left with “…you’re going to be Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force someday.”

He knew I needed to be encouraged. His words and actions showed me the character of his leadership.

I left active duty after four years to pursue a career in civilian law enforcement and moved back to Michigan with a pregnant wife and no job. Not one of my wiser life decisions, but we made it work by living in my in-laws’ basement and the generosity of my friend giving me a job driving a grain truck to help with the harvest. I also joined the Air National Guard at this very base.

I worked hard, offered what I could, learned a lot, and ended up in a place I thought I could compete for Wing Command Chief (CCM). I was the only applicant, but ultimately wasn’t selected. I was pretty devastated. Not long after, Chief John Kemp, a former Wing CCM and long-time friend and mentor, stopped in my office and laid a set of his own CCM stripes on my desk.  He looked me in the eyes and said “Don’t give up…it will happen when it’s time.”

Chief Kemp knew I needed to be encouraged. His words and actions showed me the character of his leadership.

Each of those men essentially told me what I understand Bill Parcells said to Tony Romo after he botched the snap on a field goal attempt that would have sent the Dallas Cowboys to the next round of the 2007 playoffs: “Don’t let the fumble define you.”

Romo needed to be encouraged. Parcells’ words and actions showed the character of his leadership.

I never became CMSAF.  But I did become enlisted leader at a level I never imagined possible.  And my time directing the Air National Guard Chief’s Executive Course (E9 orientation) in Washington, DC provided many chances to visit his office in the Pentagon.  I may have even partied on his front lawn at Andrews Air Force Base a few times.  So, yeah…

I had a pastor that used to say “Being a Christian isn’t easy, it’s impossible!  We can’t do it on our own…that’s why we need a savior.”  I feel the same way about life and leadership.  It’s NOT easy. In fact, it’s impossible unless you’re surrounded by great people, great friends, and great family. People who support you no matter what; people who don’t love and support you because of who you are…they love and support you in spite of who you are.  They are also willing to tell you what you need to hear. They are people who care about you and love you unconditionally. I’ve been blessed with many people like that in my life and both careers – many who are here today.

I want to thank the staff and everyone who put this event together; dignitaries; special guests; childhood friends; coworkers; and all the rest of you who are here, despite knowing the real me.  And of course my family.

I’ve talked much longer than I should, but I want to just leave you a few final thoughts.

Former ANG Command Chief Gary Broadbent used to say that ‘everyone messes up, but those same people have done far more incredible things; don’t throw the baby out with the bath water…give them the chance to do more amazing things.’  We need to pick them up, dust them off, recognize their need for encouragement, and remind them the fumble is not what defines them.

A boyhood friend I haven’t seen in decades sent me this message on social media just a few days ago. As far as I know, he’s never served in the military, yet this is the insight he shared:

Congratulations. Thank you for your service.

It’s all cool when it’s pictures on FB and stuff.

Never forget the men and women you served and were deployed with. I am positive you impacted them with your leadership. Look for them at this celebration look them in the eye, shake their hands and give them a hug. Tell them how much they mean to you. There are probably many that you impacted that you weren’t even aware of. Make sure to thank them too.

I hope you future is filled with the laughter of children, loved filled challenge and the growth in love and knowledge of the Wonderful Savior!!

He gets it doesn’t he?

You’re going to think what you will about me. If it’s bad, I certainly deserve it. If it’s good, you’re really very sweet, but perhaps a little bit misguided.  I appreciate it nonetheless.

I am going to miss this and all of you. As far as I know, I still have a day job for a few more years, and I’ve started a Life, Leadership and Fitness website and blog you can follow if you’re interested in keeping up with what I’m doing in retirement.

But if you need a character-limited version to remember me by, use this: leader, follower, angel, sinner, gentlemen, wretch, needy, giving, broken, redeemed.

My good friend and retired ANG Command Chief Jim Hotaling used to say this, and I feel the same way: It has been my honor to serve with and help lead the greatest weapon system in the world – the American Airman!

I’m blessed and grateful you all chose to be here with me today, and I am a better man because you’re in my life.

I love you all. Thank you.

*Photos added for blog.  Some photos courtesy of Mr. Art Frith, USN (Ret.)