GO SIT ON THE POT

As Far As The Eye Can See

10 Comments August 7, 2024 Eddy

Over the course of my career, I found witness recall to be at times remarkably accurate, and at others incredibly unreliable. Recollection can depend on a number of factors, including the object, person, or type of incident being witnessed; other activities ongoing at the time; the state of mind, mental acuity, physical or mental capacity of the witness; or outside influence (confabulation). As with other subjects, I’ll typically draw on personal experience when providing examples during lectures. It just happens that a recent speaking engagement in the same part of the state as a case consultation nearly 20 years earlier provided a timely and humorous opportunity to do just that.

For about 15 years, I was assigned to a statewide team that specialized in the investigation and analysis of violent crimes. There were many times over those years that my colleagues and I traveled across the state in the course of our duties. A number of those trips were to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula with my partner, Terry.

Known for its hunting, fishing, hiking, boating, long winters, and expansive wilderness, the UP (you-pee) as it’s referred to, is made up largely of wilderness, waterways, state and national forests, and hundreds of miles of Great Lakes shoreline. Equal parts picturesque and isolated, the UP is linked to Michigan’s lower peninsula by the historic Mackinac Bridge and bordered by Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Canada. On one hand, think Daniels’ Escanaba in Da Moonlight or Reeve’s Somewhere in Time; or further back, perhaps Anatomy of a Murder – set, filmed, and inspired by an actual 1952 murder in the desolate northern UP settlement of Big Bay.

On the other hand, consider three small but noteworthy universities (Northern Michigan, Michigan Tech, Lake Superior State); billion dollar iron mining and logging industries; massive freighters like the doomed Edmund Fitzgerald moving cargo from Lake Superior to the lower Great Lakes through the impressive Soo Locks; the hometown of famed coaching friends Tom Izzo and Steve Mariucci; a whole lot of great hockey; and even a couple U.S. Olympic training centers. The UP has a bit of everything.

Except an abundance of gas pumps, it turns out.

Perhaps the link between time passage and sentimentality is at work here, but those UP trips with Terry back in the day are among some of my fondest work memories…largely because of him.

First of all, Terry is one of the finest human beings I’ve ever known. An ‘old soul’ in the greatest sense, there aren’t many like him anymore. He remembers literally everything. He’s a kind, caring, methodical, contemplative, put-others-first-even-if-it-kills-him, humble to a fault rarity. If selflessness, humility, and unassuming intellect were a radical group, he’d be his own sleeper cell.

And did he take a lot of pictures!

Everyone gave him a hard time about this, including himself, but whenever I find myself going through old photos, I’m reminded how grateful I am that well before cell phones, he was always ready with a camera, both at work and at my kids’ sporting events. Perhaps it’s no coincidence, then, that his photos immortalized several of those UP trips; the most memorable of which was a single trip involving an unforgettable night clerk, an overconfident boat captain, a questionable walk on the beach, and those gas pumps I mentioned.

^{Perhaps the beach photos would have been better left alone.}

It all started some months earlier during a vacation when my family and I traveled through a small UP town called Engadine. I should note that once outside towns and villages, desolation quickly makes driving most parts of the UP dicey if you’re in need of facilities or fuel.

Inattention during the work trip with Terry that followed resulted in desperate need of both.

To make matters worse, it was getting late. Thankfully, the reflective glow of a sign pointing to Engadine appeared in our headlights. Relief swept over me as explained to Terry there was no need to worry, as I had recently passed through that very town and as luck would have it, there was a service station with “pumps as far as the eye can see!”

Yep, I used those very words as I confidently assured him that not only could we refuel, but maybe even get some ice cream, too. It was a few miles out of the way, but we were already on fumes and was our only option at this late hour. We made the turn north.

A couple miles later we rolled into a darkened, deserted Engadine. Population 897. In the same town I was certain I’d recently visited a petroleum superstore the likes of Buc-ees and Pilot, we instead found a couple of pumps next to a delapidated bait shop, at best.

Actual station in more recent years. Photo credit: Google Street View

Therein lies my point about witness reliability.

After absorbing some of Terry’s well-deserved harassment, we retraced our route south and continued on, hoping to find a motel for the night before an empty tank made our car a sleeper sofa on the shoulder of US-2.

Thankfully, we found a place not too far down the road. A quaint roadside motel along the northern shore of Lake Michigan. Not sure they were receiving guests, we stepped into the tiny lobby. The glow of a television in the back room betrayed the clerk’s opportunity to ignore us, and he reluctantly took his post behind the desk without bothering to slip pants on over his tighty whities of questionable age, functionality, and cleanliness. It’s an image forever burned into our memories.

I can assure you there is no witness recollection issue with this one.

The same goes for the boating incident later in the trip.

Having finished visiting part of a crime scene accessible only by water, we screamed across a bay near Pictured Rocks in a vessel piloted by our guide. The combination of an icy jump into Lake Superior’s frigid waters to dislodge our craft from a sandbar and the words still audible in my mind of our captain’s confident utterance only moments before in response to concerns we expressed about how shallow the water looked reinforce the accuracy of my recollection: “I know these waters like the back of my hand.”

Do tell.

^{_{No problem, it’s not that cold. We’ll just get out and push….}}

I don’t have an empirical answer to witness recollection. And I’ll never understand who thought that beach picture was a good idea. But I can say that photos, experiences, and the people I travel with help me remember things.

Thanks for the memories, Terry.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Changing The Gap Between Good And Evil

3 Comments June 30, 2024 Eddy

“There must be evil for there to be good.” – Course Attendee, Bogota, June 2024

I heard someone say at a recent training event that there are two things we all hate: change, and the way things are. Not only did I literally laugh out loud when I heard it, that statement is perhaps one of the all-time greatest representations of the human condition throughout history.

Here’s another one: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

At nearly every training event I now emcee, facilitate, or lecture at, I anecdotally refer to the human condition during my opening or closing remarks to illustrate how little things have really changed throughout history. It usually goes something like this:

^{_{1600s French artist Eustache Le Sueur’s painting The Rape of Tamar}}

I describe or project the above image and ask if anyone knows what painting it is. When no one responds, I explain it is an image of the painting The Rape of Tamar by 1600s French painter, Eustache Le Sueur. It likely represents the Old Testament biblical account from 2 Samuel 13 wherein one of King David’s sons, Amnon, raped his half sister, Tamar. Two years later, her brother, Absalom, exacts revenge on Tamar’s behalf by conspiring to murder Amnon.

At that point, I rhetorically ask whether anyone has ever read the Old Testament, and go on to point out that from the first recorded murder (Cain’s murder of his brother Abel out of jealousy), humans have consistently and unceasingly done terrible things to one another. Moses killed an Egyptian and buried him in the sand, and even King David, described as a man after God’s own heart, had Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, killed to conceal their affair. In the Old Testament alone are recorded countless instances of rape, murder, adultery, incest, conspiracy, assassination, execution, and a host of other issues that yet persist.

What we face today, I summarize, is nothing new. Perhaps greater in prevalence and creativity, yes. And certainly we can now bring to bear greater tools, techniques, procedures, and scientific advancements with which to find truth. Yet in spite of all that, little has changed since the start of human history. As acquaintance, historian, author, and good friend of my dad, Michael Delaware, wrote in the introduction to his fascinating new book Victorian Southwest Michigan True Crime, “…it is not the instrument of murder that holds any consistency, but the sinister impulse behind the criminal act wherein lies the true evil.”¹

Indeed, Michael.

As I return from my third trip to Bogota, Colombia, where I’ve been honored and blessed with the opportunity to teach alongside incredibly talented presenters and help deliver training to dedicated, professional investigators from Central and South America, all the above hits a little closer to home. For while I don’t consider myself resistant to change, neither can I say it’s not occasionally uncomfortable or that I always think it’s necessary. Sometimes change is good, but sometimes things work the way things are. As fellow USAF Chief Master Sergeant Kevin Slater’s leadership book by the same title suggests, sometimes ‘Old School is Good School.’ And while seldom is ‘Because we’ve always done it that way‘ the right answer to a leadership challenge, this out of control social experiment of a world could occasionally benefit from a bit more of the ‘old way’ of doing things. But if change is necessary, let’s change things for the better!

Change is inevitable; growth is optional.

If I’m being honest, I didn’t completely know where all this was going when I started writing it. Maybe you can tell. But comments during a panel discussion at the course in Bogota, which coincidentally involved a change in the agenda, got me thinking. The panel was a departure from previous events, and I took a chance by including is in the final agenda. I’ve seen it work during many military training events I’ve attended, and envisioned the programmed Q&A methodology encouraging more interaction. But I really had no idea how it would go over in this type of course.

Reaction was fantastic! The other panel members and I were delighted with the response. Attendees asked an impressive number of questions and provided insightful responses of their own with unexpected candor. It went so well, in fact, that we adjusted the schedule to accommodate a second panel the following day.

Perhaps somewhat providentially, it was the response to one of the questions I posed back to the group that prompted this essay.

It was a simple question: Why do you do what you do?

I framed it in the context of known and suspected dangers and challenges they face in carrying out their duties in that region. Some responded that it was a logical choice, coming from a family of public servants; others described it simply as their calling. I believe them; no matter the reason, everyone I’ve encountered throughout these courses voluntarily, professionally, and proudly serves with purpose, honor, and distinction. They persevere.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12.21)

But as a man of faith, one answer struck me to the core: “There is much evil in the world. Yet there must be evil for there to be good. I (we) must be the good that overcomes the evil.”

I don’t know that I could add much more to that here, nor should I try. It was profound, heartfelt, and seemed to resonate with everyone in the room. So I’ll simply end as I started…with a quote.

Typically attributed to Edmund Burke, its true origin appears largely in question. Nonetheless, the message endures: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

I’m proud to have answered that call, and grateful for those who continue standing in the gap restraining evil in this world.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

^{1_{Delaware, M. (2024). Victorian southwest Michigan true crime. The History Press.}}

The Parable of the Carafe

8 Comments May 23, 2024 Eddy

“Every organization in the world today should be teaching employees how to be extraordinary.” – Mark Sanborn

_{^{(Much of this was shared in an earlier social media post; I consider the lesson worthy of a full article)}}

Last month, I facilitated a training event in Kansas City, Missouri. It was a very busy week, as we simultaneously held a board meeting and strategic planning session that coincided with the first two days of the course. But with all that going on, with all the different information shared and discussed between all three events, perhaps the most important lesson of the week came neither from the classroom nor the boardroom, but rather in a most unexpected way.

Experience has taught me that classes the size of this one, with its audience type, require a near-steady flow of coffee with plenty in reserve. However, during Sunday evening setup, I noted that while there were plenty of supplies, the class would be limited to a standard three-burner Bunn with its respective pots; I had overlooked the need for carafes or an insulated beverage container.

It may seem like a small thing, but it bothered me. You know from my series on little things that they can mean a lot. And they often become big things. When nearly 100 people go on break simultaneously, particularly those conditioned or accustomed to caffeine dependence on the job, three pots run dry pretty quickly. And training directors are apt to get their brake lines cut.

Ok, that’s a little extreme. Perhaps just a few surly attendees and a critical review or two about having more coffee next time.

“Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have.” – Joyce Meyer

My down payment increased greatly after striking out late Sunday evening in my attempts to find a street vendor selling insulated beverage containers. Not one to give-up quite so easily, I turned in with the thought that perhaps the hotel where I was lodged might have a stray carafe lying around. Conversely, thoughts of NOT finding a solution kept me up much of the night. In all honesty, I seldom sleep well the first couple nights in a new place, anyway. So I arose early Monday and headed downstairs.

Note: It’s important to mention before going any further that my hotel was not the training site, nor connected in any way to the other business mentioned above. In fact, it wasn’t even the contracted hotel for the course attendees!

Enter Imelda.

After lurking…I mean looking around a few common areas, poking my head into vacant meeting rooms, and asking the front desk yielded nada, I thought one last option might be the breakfast buffet area. Situated behind stately glass-panel French doors at the top of an impressive staircase, it was a beautiful dining space laid out opposite the glass-paneled arc of the building; overlooking adjacent buildings, the street below, and what’s known as the plaza area in the distance further down the hill.

Unfortunately, it was closed, wouldn’t open for a while yet, and I was crunched for time. Noticing a staff member through the glass on the other side of the locked door, I approached with a sheepish smile and tentative wave. I felt like a kitten scratching at the door to be let in, but probably looked more like some creep in a suit expecting not to wait for breakfast.

Clearly dressed as the host who would soon welcome actual customers in for a nice, hot breakfast, the woman on the other side could have easily gestured at the clock and turned away like many others would have done in that moment. Instead, Ms. Imelda kindly unlocked the door and allowed me to explain my dilemma…to which I did.

I asked if it would be at all possible to temporarily borrow some sort of beverage carafe until I could pick one up later in the day? She could have simply and understandably declined. Yet she didn’t. Instead, Imelda asked me to wait there before disappearing around the corner toward the kitchen. She returned shortly after with an insulated, vacuum-pump coffee carafe. There was no hesitation nor hint of pretension. Imelda simply smiled, said she was happy to help, and asked me to ‘just bring it back at the end of the week.’

Imelda saved the day. The week, in fact. Thank you Marriott Hotels and Kansas City Marriott Country Club Plaza for hiring wonderful people like Imelda. As a person of faith, I believe what David Jeremiah relates in his devotional The Upward Call that as God blesses us, we are “sent out into the world in order to be a blessing to others.”

I don’t know whether she holds the same beliefs I do, but Imelda certainly understands how to pay it forward and about being a blessing to others. I’m grateful and blessed to have met this wonderful human being.

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” – Albert Einstein

The world needs more Imeldas.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

_{Jeremiah, David (2015). The upward call. San Diego, CA: Turning Point.}

_{Sanborn, Mark (2004). The Fred factor. New York, NY: Currency Doubleday.}

Transformation Tuesday: The Heart

1 Comment February 13, 2024 Eddy

This week we’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day, now a largely romantic holiday of debatable history widely thought to have originated from a martyred Christian named Saint Valentine. Certainly well-meaning in its modern adaptation – I mean, who couldn’t use a little more love, romance, and heart-shaped chocolates in their life? – it’s the human heart that is the focus of this Transformation Tuesday.

In the figurative sense, hearts get broken, and like other holidays this can be a tough one for many. In the literal sense hearts can also be broken due to congenital disease. They can also become broken, or defective, as a result of infection, high blood pressure, high LDL cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, simple age-related degeneration, obesity, unhealthy diet, and physical inactivity. Some heartbreak and some heart problems are unavoidable. However, as poor decisions and bad relationships can lead to broken hearts, many physical heart problems are likewise preventable; the result of simple abuse or neglect.

What: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4.23)

How: Be physically active, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, eat healthy while adhering to reasonable portion control. Or as my friends over at On Target Living say: Rest | Eat | Move. It is perhaps equally as important to avoid those foods, activities, and people that aren’t good for you.

Why: The heart is at the center of our being: physically and emotionally. From attitude to energy to relationships, everything else is impacted when our heart isn’t working like it should.

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6.45)

Make sure yours is healthy, happy, and full of the right stuff.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

5th Annual Year in Review

4 Comments January 26, 2024 Eddy

As each year transitions to the next I find myself looking back as I look forward. Is it just me, or does it seem like the world continues drifting farther off the rails every year? There’s a future article in there somewhere, but I’m well overdue for what’s in front of me here.

Unless you’re new to following along, you know January is when I recap the articles, activities, and exploits of the previous year. While I’m grateful for some new opportunities, there were also added responsibilities, challenges, and the unexpected loss of loved ones early in the year that drove engagement here down. But I hope what I did share was meaningful, encouraging, inspiring, or entertaining to you in some way. It’s certainly enjoyable to me! So in continuance of this tradition of questionable value, please enjoy my fifth such year-in-review.

Little Things Parts One (and Two)

After buying time with the previous year’s review, I promptly began 2023 talking about the important business of doing your business. Well, only in part. Resurrecting memories of the White Cloud toilet paper jingle ‘little things mean a lot’ helped introduce the subject of how little things in our lives can have a large impact. Consider the spark as to a wildfire or the rudder as to a ship. Consider that despite its small size, the human tongue has unrivaled power to equally uplift or destroy. Or how ostensibly insignificant words, incidents, decisions, choices, or (apparent) coincidences of the past are written seamlessly into the script of your life today…a phenomenon I dubbed incidental interconnectedness. The smallest act of kindness provides big comfort in the midst of pain. Getting out of bed and showing up every day; a positive attitude; giving compliments; gratefulness; treating people with dignity and respect; asking people how their day is going; saying “please”, “thank you”, “I love you”, and “how can I help” more often; holding hands; or sending handwritten notes and thank-you cards are other little things of enormity. A simple hug or touch can instantly reduce stress; words that may seem insignificant when given or received often have lasting impact, for better or worse; faithfulness in little things leads to faithfulness in much; and the smallest light can be seen in the thickest darkness. The real issue isn’t how much we have, but what we do with it.

Be that light.

Unlikely Heroes: When Ordinary People Do Extraordinary Things

It’s difficult to summarize this article or convey in brief the emotion contained within. While I recommend linking back to all of 2023’a articles, this one is especially best read in full. Two quotes from it will have to provide its summary here.

“There comes a special moment in everyone’s life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when he seizes it, will fulfill his mission – a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour.” – Winston Churchill

“True heroism is remarkably sober…It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” – Arthur Ashe

You Are Enough Part One (and Two)

“God often spends years preparing us for what he wants us to do….don’t be impatient with yourself.” – David Jeremiah

These two are likewise hard to condense. I did little compulsory introspection into the impact my past may have had on preferences, behavior, life and career choices, and responses to other situations in an effort to answer those and other ‘whys’; the most obvious of which is having spent most of my life believing I’m not handsome enough, good enough, desirable, or strong enough. And trying in some way, every step of the way, to prove that I am.

In addition to examining the potential source of some of these long-term hangups, I also lamented time I wasted not being the man God intended me to be. I then found myself wondering whether it really was all wasted time, or part of a some master plan to prepare me for where I am today. The answer appears to be “yes”.

Part Two examined why many of the steps I took along the way to make myself feel better about myself were completely unnecessary. Instead of worrying what people think of me, I now try hard (not always successfully) to use the good, bad, and ugly of my life, career, and experience to bring me closer to God, help others, and make the world a better place. The key to this two part self-examination was this: Stop stumbling over things already behind you. You are enough. Be confident in who you are and to whom you belong.

“I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I wish to be. I am not what I one day will be. But, by the grace of God, I am not what I once was.“ – John Newton

Make Time to Train

Things had been pretty heavy the last few articles, so a rail trip I took to Oklahoma City provided inspiration for something a little less weighty. This brief foray into lighter fare gave merely a glimpse into why I love traveling by train whenever possible. The chance to use this timely double entendre was just bonus: “When you say you don’t have time to train, what you are really saying is that you’ve chosen not to train.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

I encourage you to get on-board and see for yourself.

Those Who Can

As someone who has historically done a lot of speaking and teaching, the pejorative statement “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” has always been offensive to me. This article serves as a rebuttal directed at those who carelessly spew that sentiment, and a defense of those it’s typically directed toward. Because those who can do both!

A Full Cast of Characters

Humans are interdependent. From the beginning God said it’s not good for man to be alone. Life and leadership are about helping others be successful. Others help us to be our best and prevent loneliness and isolation. Perhaps this statement sums it up best: the strength of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. “The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” – John Wooden

Fitness remains an important facet of this motivational ministry and my life. On top of my ongoing daily commitment to doing my age in squats and pushups, regular strength, flexibility, and cardio workouts continue. I’ll use an upcoming article to chronicle that and inspire you to the importance of continued wellness.

The year ended with a significant health scare and emergency surgery for my father, and a skin cancer diagnosis requiring surgery of my own. Still, there’s much to be grateful for, not the least of which is your continued interest, support, and encouragement. I’m looking forward to another great year working together with you to make the world a better place.

Let’s do more in 2024!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Transformation Tuesday: The Mind

January 16, 2024 Eddy

I was recently involved in a local production of Pilgrim, a dramatic musical based on the John Bunyan book The Pilgrim’s Progress. It is a powerful allegory that tracks a believer’s life along the path to Heaven; a transformational journey of sanctification on the road to glory. Many of the pilgrim’s struggles, like my own, are thinking problems: defective thinking, overthinking, not thinking, or thinking about the wrong things.

Improving and maintaining mental wellness starts with transforming the mind.

What: Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12.2)

How: Read, pray, relax, meditate, limit screen time, rest, escape. What are some others that work for you?

Why: Less stress, better sleep, more creativity, greater productivity, higher energy, healthier relationships. What are some other benefits?

This is the first in a series of short Tuesday reminders about the importance of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness.

And look for the annual Beyond Strength Year In Review coming soon!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Happy Holidays!

Image 3 Comments December 25, 2023 Eddy

Warmest wishes for a magical Christmas and happy New Year filled with purpose and excitement! I’m grateful you’ve continued to follow along, and look forward to more in 2024!

A Full Cast of Characters

1 Comment November 17, 2023 Eddy

“The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” – John Wooden

_{Listen to the audio version here.}

During a recent service, my pastor quoted Charles Spurgeon: “Scripture frequently sums up a man’s life in a single verse.” I’ve thought a lot about what single verse might sum up my life. While many could easily apply, like Ephesians 3.8 (I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people), one perhaps fits best: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.” (1 Tim 1.15)

Look, it’s not a competition; no one wins at sin. But I fall short a lot, and the closer I get to God the more obvious and uncomfortable my unworthiness is. So I place myself at the top of the list. And like anyone in uncomfortable situations, I have a couple of choices: distance myself or draw closer. While the tendency for most is to disconnect, for the person of faith it should be to draw near to God and surround ourselves with others who make us better people.

Life and leadership are about helping others be successful.

“Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.” (John Donne) While there’s something to be said for independence and alone time once in a while, no man is an island. Humans are interdependent. From the beginning, God said it’s not good for man to be alone. Pets are great, but we need companionship with others like us…with intellect, ethics, emotions, spirituality. Besides, pretty much everything in life requires some level of teamwork: leadership, business, sports, relationships. A widely shared passage in Ecclesiastes (4.9-12) reminds us that two are better than one and a cord of three strands is not easily broken. Not only can they help us be our best, other people help prevent loneliness and isolation. One only need consider the devastating emotional effects many experienced during the pandemic lockdowns to understand this truth.

But not every friend is a good one, nor every team a winner. A friend loves at all times, not just when you’re with them or have something to offer. And even teams with the greatest all-stars lose. The symbolism of that simple threefold cord helps us understand it’s better to have a few of the right players than an abundance of the wrong. A friends list or team roster stacked with the wrong people can lead to all sorts of trouble, but a GOOD team player and the RIGHT kind of helper is essential to success.

“It is not important what role you play, as long as you play your role.” – Don Denyes

Have you ever watched the credits roll at the end of a show? They seem to run forever and list literally hundreds of cast and crew. Few are the ‘stars’. As I write this article, final rehearsals are taking place for a stage production I’m involved with. Like most, I play a very small role. Yet having experienced a fair amount of theater (and a couple of film productions), I can tell you that it takes the entire cast and crew to be successful. Contrary to pop news, it’s the collective excellence of the set, sound, and stage crews, minor characters, and company performers that make or break a show. Of course the right leads are important, but even a momentary loss of character or focus by a supporting role upstage is immediately noticeable and often what keeps an average production from being exceptional. Every member of the cast and crew must be bought in, committed, support one another, and work seamlessly together throughout – keeping always the best interest of the show and team at the forefront; even if that means not being the center of attention.

For me, home projects are another example of my need for others. I take pride in being good at a number of things, but certain handiwork is not generally among them. Sure, given enough time and do-overs I can generally muddle through, but the results are more akin to ‘That’ll work.’ than ‘Wow, that looks amazing.’ And while I have no trouble running a saw, tape, or hammer, it did once take me two tries to install a cat door. The result was convenient floor and ceiling access for what I thereafter referred to as our circus cat. Note: when you remove a door for such projects, remember which end is which (that’s just one of many examples from life in the unskilled trades). Had I just asked for a little help…

Disposition is everything when it comes to teamwork.

There are many more examples of our need for relationships and teamwork in life. We simply can’t do life alone, so the virtues of humility, respect, and the ability to relate to others are invaluable.

John Maxwell points out in his book The 360 Degree Leader, “Leadership is more disposition than position.” The same is true of teamwork. Leading, following, asking for help, and helping others all require an unpretentious disposition. Humility is the antithesis of pride and self-service, which in turn are contradictory to being a great leader, teammate, and friend. It’s a small man who neither offers nor asks for help, and who runs down others to boost his own fragile ego. Yet ironically, it is the same man’s inflated ego and self-serving disposition by which humility and vulnerability escape him. While people with these traits make poor leaders, teammates, and friends, it may simply be that they lack emotional intelligence; particularly empathy and self-awareness.

So what does this have to do with the rest?

The strength of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

We all have issues. Humans are imperfect. Teams are a collection of individuals, therefore likewise imperfect. In his book The Ideal Team Player, Patrick Lencioni focuses on team members individually improving on “…the virtues that make him or her more likely to overcome the dysfunctions that derail teams.” This not only applies to the pretentious egotist mentioned above, it translates to all areas of life. Looking within and without, individually and collectively, we can make the world a better place by making each other better. It’s ok to be broken, but we’re still better together than apart!

Nicky Gumbel shared this from Desmond Tutu recently: ‘The solitary human being is a contradiction in terms…[W]e are made for complementarity. We are created for a delicate network of relationships, of interdependence with our fellow human beings…’ Adds Gumbel, “God does not intend for you to be lonely and isolated.”

We were created with an enduring need for others and a relationship with God. He gave us an important and obvious example in sending his son to share in our humanity, without whom salvation is impossible.

The show must go on…work hard to live at peace and encourage one another.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

^{John Donne prose retrieved from: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-man-is-an-island/}

^{Lencioni, P. (2016). The ideal team player. Josey-Bass.}

^{Maxwell, J. C. (2011). The 360-degree leader. Thomas Nelson.}

Those Who Can

3 Comments September 30, 2023 Eddy

Do good. Be rich in good deeds. Be generous and willing to share. (1 Tim 6.18)

As I began writing this a few days ago, I was retuning from Bogota, Colombia, where for the second time in three months I had the privilege of helping deliver training to investigators from Central and South America as part of the U.S. Department of Justice’s International Criminal Investigative Training Assistance Program (ICITAP). The week prior, I was presenting at another investigations seminar closer to home. Even as I type this, I am traveling to the nation’s capital to emcee and help facilitate an International DNA and genealogy summit. Yesterday’s participation in a unique high school career and technical education event simply added to an incredibly meaningful and busy last few months. And while busier lately than I anticipated, I’m grateful for opportunities to continue serving; particularly when it involves consulting on cases or presenting, lecturing, and teaching on related subjects.

The pejorative sentiment “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” is a sort of truncated excerpt originating from George Bernard Shaw’s Man and Superman that is clearly directed at educators. Perhaps Shaw never intended it to be as offensive or ubiquitous as it has become, but I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve heard it over the years. Sadly, two former colleagues must have really liked it, because they spewed it more than anyone else. It was clearly intended to mock those, like me, whose responsibilities included the in-service education of others in our line of work. I took it all with a grain of salt, knowing it was more rooted in envy and my position firmly outside their in-group than anything else. But I still didn’t much care for it.

Even on the outside chance those using that expression don’t intend it disrespectfully, it’s hard to miss the implication that those who teach others are somehow viewed as unskilled, incompetent, or otherwise unable to perform the actual job; relegating them instead to teach about it. In most cases that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Those who can, do both!

“The safest thing for a patient is to be in the hands of a man involved in teaching medicine.” (Charles H Mayo)

My opinion, which also serves as a rebuttal of sorts to the begrudging purveyor of this lame George Bernard Shaw quip, is this: those who have the ability and opportunity to do both have also the obligation. It doesn’t end with job change or retirement, either. Even when those who can are done doing what they did, how is the next generation of doers expected to know how to do it if not taught by someone who did? For not unlike the best and most respected military officers having often been prior enlisted members, people with job-related experience and subject matter expertise often make the best and most revered instructors. They are typically capable, engaging, and effective lecturers on their respective subjects. Of course that’s not always the case. Sometimes highly qualified and technically proficient workers are horrible public speakers and the last person you would want teaching or coaching others; like the occasional enlisted member who commissions into nothing more than a just higher ranking nincompoop. Likewise, there are a great many who have no real hands-on, practical experience related to their subject matter yet are remarkable teachers and lecturers.

Personally, I’m glad there were those before me who placed a high priority on educating others about the job, and freely did so in a way that kept my interest and successfully transferred valuable knowledge to help me do it better. Their calling was true and contributions immeasurable.

I’m certainly no professional orator, but I do embrace my love of it and consider the ability to speak, teach, and communicate information effectively among the gifts I have been blessed with. God has blessed each of us with certain gifts and abilities that align with our calling and purpose in life, and we glorify him when we respond to that call. How can I NOT respond to that call? How can I NOT perform to the best of my God-given ability at whatever I undertake, be it the doing or the teaching?

An apostle and a philosopher…

“Whatever you do, work art it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. (Col 3.23) – Apostle Paul

“Do well what you have in hand.” – Marcus Aurelius

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” (1 Cor 10.31) – Apostle Paul

“Work long and hard; have few wants; work with your own hands; don’t meddle in others’ affairs; be unwilling to listen to slander.” – Marcus Aurelius

Rather than cheekily running others down to feel better about ourselves or deflect from our own discomfort with public speaking, maybe we should instead do everything we can to benefit others with the blessings we’ve been endowed.

Summary

People ask me all the time what I’m doing in retirement. A number of those who ask seem surprised that with rare exception, everything I do is charitable: gratis, without compensation. In other words, pro bono publico (Latin): done for the public good. I don’t say this for self-inflation…I say it because I personally feel that as long as I have the means, time, and ability, it is my responsibility and calling to use the gifts God gave me to benefit others and help make the world a better place. How selfish it would be to withhold from others the knowledge, skills, gifts, and abilities graciously and temporarily on loan to me for work here on earth for that very purpose?

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, don’t.

But those who teach, do both. Because they’re unselfish and awesome.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

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