A Full Cast of Characters

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“The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” – John Wooden

Listen to the audio version here.

During a recent service, my pastor quoted Charles Spurgeon: “Scripture frequently sums up a man’s life in a single verse.” I’ve thought a lot about what single verse might sum up my life. While many could easily apply, like Ephesians 3.8 (I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people), one perhaps fits best: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.” (1 Tim 1.15)

Look, it’s not a competition; no one wins at sin. But I fall short a lot, and the closer I get to God the more obvious and uncomfortable my unworthiness is. So I place myself at the top of the list. And like anyone in uncomfortable situations, I have a couple of choices: distance myself or draw closer. While the tendency for most is to disconnect, for the person of faith it should be to draw near to God and surround ourselves with others who make us better people.

Life and leadership are about helping others be successful.

“Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.” (John Donne) While there’s something to be said for independence and alone time once in a while, no man is an island. Humans are interdependent. From the beginning, God said it’s not good for man to be alone. Pets are great, but we need companionship with others like us…with intellect, ethics, emotions, spirituality. Besides, pretty much everything in life requires some level of teamwork: leadership, business, sports, relationships. A widely shared passage in Ecclesiastes (4.9-12) reminds us that two are better than one and a cord of three strands is not easily broken. Not only can they help us be our best, other people help prevent loneliness and isolation. One only need consider the devastating emotional effects many experienced during the pandemic lockdowns to understand this truth.

But not every friend is a good one, nor every team a winner. A friend loves at all times, not just when you’re with them or have something to offer. And even teams with the greatest all-stars lose. The symbolism of that simple threefold cord helps us understand it’s better to have a few of the right players than an abundance of the wrong. A friends list or team roster stacked with the wrong people can lead to all sorts of trouble, but a GOOD team player and the RIGHT kind of helper is essential to success.

“It is not important what role you play, as long as you play your role.” – Don Denyes

Have you ever watched the credits roll at the end of a show? They seem to run forever and list literally hundreds of cast and crew. Few are the ‘stars’. As I write this article, final rehearsals are taking place for a stage production I’m involved with. Like most, I play a very small role. Yet having experienced a fair amount of theater (and a couple of film productions), I can tell you that it takes the entire cast and crew to be successful. Contrary to pop news, it’s the collective excellence of the set, sound, and stage crews, minor characters, and company performers that make or break a show. Of course the right leads are important, but even a momentary loss of character or focus by a supporting role upstage is immediately noticeable and often what keeps an average production from being exceptional. Every member of the cast and crew must be bought in, committed, support one another, and work seamlessly together throughout – keeping always the best interest of the show and team at the forefront; even if that means not being the center of attention.

For me, home projects are another example of my need for others. I take pride in being good at a number of things, but certain handiwork is not generally among them. Sure, given enough time and do-overs I can generally muddle through, but the results are more akin to ‘That’ll work.’ than ‘Wow, that looks amazing.’ And while I have no trouble running a saw, tape, or hammer, it did once take me two tries to install a cat door. The result was convenient floor and ceiling access for what I thereafter referred to as our circus cat. Note: when you remove a door for such projects, remember which end is which (that’s just one of many examples from life in the unskilled trades). Had I just asked for a little help…

Disposition is everything when it comes to teamwork.

There are many more examples of our need for relationships and teamwork in life. We simply can’t do life alone, so the virtues of humility, respect, and the ability to relate to others are invaluable.

John Maxwell points out in his book The 360 Degree Leader, “Leadership is more disposition than position.” The same is true of teamwork. Leading, following, asking for help, and helping others all require an unpretentious disposition. Humility is the antithesis of pride and self-service, which in turn are contradictory to being a great leader, teammate, and friend. It’s a small man who neither offers nor asks for help, and who runs down others to boost his own fragile ego. Yet ironically, it is the same man’s inflated ego and self-serving disposition by which humility and vulnerability escape him. While people with these traits make poor leaders, teammates, and friends, it may simply be that they lack emotional intelligence; particularly empathy and self-awareness.

So what does this have to do with the rest?

The strength of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

We all have issues. Humans are imperfect. Teams are a collection of individuals, therefore likewise imperfect. In his book The Ideal Team Player, Patrick Lencioni focuses on team members individually improving on “…the virtues that make him or her more likely to overcome the dysfunctions that derail teams.” This not only applies to the pretentious egotist mentioned above, it translates to all areas of life. Looking within and without, individually and collectively, we can make the world a better place by making each other better. It’s ok to be broken, but we’re still better together than apart!

Nicky Gumbel shared this from Desmond Tutu recently: ‘The solitary human being is a contradiction in terms…[W]e are made for complementarity. We are created for a delicate network of relationships, of interdependence with our fellow human beings…’ Adds Gumbel, “God does not intend for you to be lonely and isolated.”

We were created with an enduring need for others and a relationship with God. He gave us an important and obvious example in sending his son to share in our humanity, without whom salvation is impossible.

The show must go on…work hard to live at peace and encourage one another.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

John Donne prose retrieved from: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-man-is-an-island/

Lencioni, P. (2016). The ideal team player. Josey-Bass. 

Maxwell, J. C. (2011). The 360-degree leader. Thomas Nelson. 

Failures & Faith

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God looks not at our failures, but at the sincerity of our faith. The truth of that statement is found throughout history. Consider those honored as ‘Heroes of Faith’ by the author of Hebrews, who despite failing miserably earlier in life, were used mightily by God because of their faith.

Here are a few. 

Abraham, more concerned for his own well-being than his wife, passed her over to Pharaoh as his sister; later, his impatience with God’s timing would lead to hurt feelings and an unnecessary and unpleasant family dynamic.  Moses, long before leading his people out of Egypt, killed and buried an Egyptian, then hypocritically tried to play peacemaker between two of his kinsmen.  Both Moses and the valiant Gideon would doubt their abilities, self-worth, question God’s instruction, and resist their calling. And like many other men, the mighty Samson and King David were both enslaved to passion, self-indulgence, and captivated by beauty.  

Stories like this aren’t uncommon. Industry leaders, CEOs, Hollywood icons, athletes, and everyday people are stumbling masters of imperfection. Yet many contribute greatly and attain high levels of success and achievement. So why is this important, and why now?

Timing and proximity.

For a while now, my pastor has been preaching through the book of Hebrews.  Chapter 11 focuses on triumphant faith. Examining those highlighted as heroes of faith gives me hope…even heroes fail.  But faith endures, and by it they “…conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions…escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong” (Heb. 11.33-34; emphasis added).  Their faith gained them approval from God, because faith is evidence of the heart.  And God looks at our heart, not how many mistakes we make.  

But faith will be tested. 

Unfortunately for those who dislike discomfort, the pastor points out that for faith to mature it must be pressed…as olives are to making oil.  Faith is refined (matured) in the process of being crushed.  

It seems failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

I don’t know where you land on the coincidence versus serendipity versus providence spectrum, but just days ago Tim Tebow, a man I respect for his faith journey, encouraged followers to embrace failure as a growth and learning opportunity.  Part of his post read “Failing doesn’t make you a failure”.   While he’s experienced some incredible success in his life, he’s also experienced significant disappointment.  His faith still shines above it all. 

I don’t know him personally, but I expect he would agree that faith is something we experience.   Whether we live to be 100 or our days are cut short, faith is a journey, not a destination.  And sometimes God uses even a short life to make a lasting impact.  

It’s not comforting, but people of faith know that sometimes God’s greater purpose outweighs temporary discomfort. 

“Counting on the future is folly.” – Charles Spurgeon 

We are two years into a pandemic we were told would be under control within a couple of weeks. Many have lost faith in authorities and experts because of their inability to provide consistent guidance or expected results. Don’t count on the future.

Those who lost friends or loved ones to COVID likely had their faith tested.  Unrelated to the pandemic, my family and others close to me have experienced incredible pain due to the unexpected loss of loved ones during that time. Two, in particular, were taken from their young families undeservedly soon. It may be little comfort to those grieving, but each of them lived a life of faith and powerful testimony, leaving behind a lasting legacy and impact.  

Faith is tested in other ways, too. 

It’s difficult to explain the level of anguish and heartache over an estranged child, wayward and spiraling downward; consequences of poor decisions come to fruition near rock bottom.

The olive press of parenthood isn’t always a pleasant journey of faith.  Flaming, blaming, hateful arrows launched from the tongue of a broken spirit aren’t easily ignored. They sew seeds of doubt in even the strongest parent.  

Are my own failures to blame? Whose faith journey is this, anyway?

I’ve had both insignificant and epic failures. I still do. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m not so unlike those heroes of faith mentioned earlier. I’ve been impatient with God’s timing; hypocrisy isn’t foreign to me; I’ve doubted my worth, downplayed my abilities, resisted my calling, and questioned God’s direction.

And if ever a person personified their biblical namesake, it’s this David.

I long for the ‘good old days’, but as I pointed out in the preview to this article, maybe the good old days weren’t all that great either. Still, times certainly seemed simpler then.

I think it was Jimmy Buffett who said that living well is the best revenge. But vengeance isn’t ours to wield and many of us have some letting go to do.

But I see his point.

Living well with a faithful heart, despite our proclivity to stumble, may help today’s days be the good old days we seek.

Trust in the trustworthiness of God.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Tim Tebow quote retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6900445218035089408/

3rd Annual Year in Review

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After initially penning pretty much a novel just as introduction, I decided to pour my glass half-full and save the bellyaching opening for a future essay of its own.  I’ll instead focus on this summarized recounting of another year’s worth of life-changing blatherings.  I encourage you to link to each article for a closer look (audio versions available within).  I also encourage you to check out the new Beyond Strength merchandise store! 

Six Foot Cup: “I grieve for what our country has become. No longer a shining example of democracy to the world, we have lost a common sense of dignity and respect. Peaceful protests are one thing. But antagonism has led to months of destructive civil unrest, disobedience, death, and millions in damages. The U.S. is supposed to be the world’s democratic leader. Now we look like a dysfunctional junior high school. Our political ‘leaders’ and elected officials have cast aside statesmanship, diplomacy, and decorum in favor of hissy-fits and name-calling. Taking credit or blaming others for something clearly beyond anyone’s complete understanding takes precedence over doing the right thing.”   

This article was equal parts venting and encouragement. It ultimately suggested the socially distanced coffee meetup to battle social isolation ongoing at the time.  

“There’s nothing quite like sitting down with a friend. Self-care, buddy-check, confessional, solving world problems, venting. Whatever the reason, it’s good and necessary. I love my alone time…but I need people too! Bonus when it’s without agenda or drama or judgment or problems that need solved.”

God is in control. We are not God. Be wary of those who think they are.

Least Bad Option: This article is largely about attitude, motivation, and inspiration.  A quote from Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow summarizes: “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”  

I met Greg, an amputee, at the gym while vacationing in Mexico.  The ‘least bad option’ had to do with his decision to have his damaged lower leg removed after failed attempts to salvage it.  What impressed me most about Greg (humility and a positive attitude), relates well to Sparrow’s quote and everyday life. “I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going.” – Greg

Walls and Window Dressings: This one dove deep and is difficult to summarize. It’s about being real, not hiding behind a curtain of double standards or camouflaging your duplicity. 

“Never value anything as profitable to yourself which shall compel you to break your promise, to lose your self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to behave hypocritically, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains.” – Marcus Aurelius (Emphasis added)

”Everything is permissible” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible” – but not everything is constructive.” (1 Cor. 10.23)

Moral relativism isn’t the answer.  Be wary of leaders blind or unconcerned to the impact of their actions. 

Paradoxical Conflictions: This is another one that ran deep and isn’t served well in summary.  In short, paradoxical refers to something with two meanings that don’t make sense together: or a contrary opinion.  The subtitle of this blog, Finding Strength in Weakness, is an example. 

Conflict generally refers to a fight or strong disagreement.  

Combined, this article attempts to resolve inner conflict and related paradoxes I feel as a man of faith, usually surrounding interpretations of biblical commandments versus personal convictions.  

Making matters worse, it isn’t uncommon for so-called pillars of the church to be most rigid in their convictions. And the first to confuse them for commandments. You may just need to go read this one…

Memorial Day: Lest We Forget: “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother;” – Shakespeare, Henry V, Act IV, Scene 3.

Remember the fallen…Memorial Day and every day.

Do You Like Me?  Yes No: Today’s success is often measured in followers, likes, and comments.  I haven’t cracked that code, so I can’t help doubting myself or the value of Beyond Strength at times. I want what I do to be relevant and useful. I want to make a difference. It would be nice to be liked.

But as much as I yearn for affirmation, my worth doesn’t come from what I do or how many likes I get. And yours doesn’t either. Our worth comes from God. 

Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes: I found myself wondering if this romper-room dance was really a fun way to teach basic anatomy to children, or just a song about getting old?  

Adulting can be depressing and overwhelming, but we can learn a lot from what we did as kids.  Use this as a motivator to do things to improve your physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological, and social well-being. 

Even if it means running through the motions of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes a couple times.

Remembering 9/11: Last year marked the 20th anniversary of the September 11th attacks.

Never forget…

Slow Down: “Just slow down. Trust me, it’ll still get done…you’ll still get there.” – Bruce

Slow down, take it easy, and give this one a read.

Finishing Well: With retirement rapidly approaching, I want to finish well.  My good friend and fellow short timer said, “We only end on a low note if we allow it.”

Finishing well means setting aside grievances, knowing what I can and cannot control, and adjusting my attitude accordingly.

Attitude and actions are completely within our control.  

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Shakespeare quote retrieved from: http://shakespeare.mit.edu/henryv/henryv.4.3.html

Finishing Well

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When I recorded the video preview, this article was intended as motivation to finish well as I close in on retirement. I had no idea the next two weeks would be a collision of parallels between finishing a career well and finishing a life well. With the unexpected passing of my mother-in-law, and two other funerals the same week, the connection was unmistakable.

Contextually, hints of resentment started percolating and I didn’t like it. Save for a few disappointments, I’ve had an extraordinary career…I refuse to spend the last few months of it embittered. A little self-reflection revealed two primary issues conspiring against this emerging, unwanted disposition.

Too many decisions are made for the primary benefit of those making them. That’s nothing new. What is new has been the perfect storm of social, civic, and public safety upheaval, resulting in declining sentiment toward policing and melodramatic policy decisions driven by political activism. Progress is good; change is necessary. But not when it benefits some to the exclusion of others. What once was among the noblest of professions is now one in which contempt and disrespect for those sworn to serve and protect has become an acceptable norm.

The criminal actions or irresponsibility of a few must not diminish the honor and distinction with which the vast majority of public safety professionals serve. Many who have dedicated their lives to protecting and serving are exhausted and anguished. The current environment creates the potential for a profession that once attracted the altruistic and humble to instead draw those primarily motivated by power and authority. That’s not progress. But neither is it something I have control of.

The second issue is unforgiveness. I have too-long held onto hard feelings about lost opportunities. Two were blatant instances of favoritism, bias, and partiality; the others less obvious, but no less disappointing and no less wrong. Unchecked, these types of inequities create an environment where people don’t feel psychologically safe, and some simply stop trying; helpless to change things and afraid to speak out.

That’s where I eventually found myself. Hurt, ruminating, and waiting for an apology that will never come. Empathy and healing aren’t high on the list of priorities for the leader, husband, wife, father, mother, or friend unwilling or incapable of apology. Another thing I have no control of.

What is within my control are my attitude and actions.

In his book The Socrates Express, Eric Weiner quotes Gandhi as saying that no man “…takes another down a pit without descending into it himself.” Said another way by a good friend recently as we lamented current events, “We only end on a low note if we allow it.”

Avoiding low notes and pits by controlling what I can, and letting go what I can’t, seems obvious. Accordingly, I choose to finish well; maintain a positive attitude; avoid engaging in biased or self-serving decisions; and continue speaking out against injustice…socially and within my family, organization, and my profession.

And I choose to forgive…with or without an apology.

Besides, believers are urged to “…not grow weary while doing good” and “…not lose heart.” (Gal. 6.9).

My mother-in-law, Joy, never grew weary of doing good. She was one of the kindest, gentlest, most genuine people on the planet, who lived out her namesake every day. I had the privilege of speaking at her memorial, during which this portion of my remarks both applies here and convicts me:

“I say this with not an ounce of pride, ego, or self-serving motive; this woman, this most beautiful and tenderhearted of human beings, adored me.  An adoration I never deserved.  She was one of the few people I have ever known who truly loved unconditionally.  No matter how many times I messed up, was abrupt, spoke unkindly, or hurt her daughter in some way, she never stayed angry or judged me. Instead, she was always the first to forgive me. I will never understand why she felt that way about me, or why a guy like me was so blessed to be a part of this wonderful family…” 

My mother-in-law lived well, and despite her untimely passing, finished well. I’m a better man because of her.

Likewise, notwithstanding some disappointments along the way, I’m also a better man because of the organization I’ve been a part of for nearly 30 years.

I mentioned two goals in the preview video: finishing well and decluttering.

Finishing well means setting aside my grievances, knowing what I can and cannot control, and adjusting my attitude accordingly.

Decluttering means ridding myself of unnecessary junk…literally and figuratively.

In some ways, my profession and organization are unrecognizable today. That’s not necessarily a bad thing…it’s just not necessarily my thing.

Nonetheless, I choose to run with perseverance to the very end.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” (Heb. 12.1)

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Weiner, Eric (2020). The socrates express. New York, NY: Avid Reader Press.

Least Bad Option

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If you stumbled across this article assuming it’s about the election or the last six months of political idiocy, it’s not. It’s actually about attitude, motivation, and inspiration. But keep reading! I’m certain you’ll find value, enjoyment and maybe even some parallels.

Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow is quoted saying “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” It’s just coincidence that I was on the Caribbean coast of Mexico when the substance of this article emerged.

Being in Mexico resulted from a canceled cruise, but I wouldn’t call it a bad option. The weather, accommodations, surroundings, sustenance, and company were near-perfect. Conversely, as I write this it’s a snowy and windy nine degrees…to say I’d rather be back in Quintana Roo is an understatement. Nonetheless, as I try to warm my icy toes and glance out at blowing snow, I think back to a walk on the beach just a week-and-a-half ago.

Like some of you, I people-watch. Most anyone in the profession of arms will tell you people watching is not just a clumsy excuse husbands use when their eyes wander. For those trained to observe and expected to respond when things go bad, being on ‘constant alert’ becomes hard-wired and perpetual. I suspect it’s why many us us struggle to rest, unwind, or relax…especially in public spaces.

As I sought to ‘unwind’ on the beach, I noticed an athletically well-put-together, short-haired, middle-aged man smoothly striding the Mexican sand with stoic confidence. Were it not for wearing shorts, I would never have noticed his prosthetic lower left leg. The way he carried himself and combination of physical attributes convinced me he was a fellow combat veteran who’d paid a higher price than most. A chance meeting in the gym would later confirm my instant assessment was completely incorrect. But my new friend turned out to be no less impressive and inspirational.

I’ve built a notable gym and enjoy working out at home. I’m thankful to be self-motivated enough to consistently do so alone, but I don’t begrudge those who patronize gyms and derive motivation from it. In fact, it’s long been my desire to open one. But I can do without the posturing testosterone-festivals at some public gyms, where genetically ‘gifted’ beefcakes preoccupied with impressing others look down their flaring nostrils at average guys like me. Still, I sometimes find inspiration there. Mostly from humble, hard-working hard-gainers, unconcerned with attention-grabbing mating rituals. Such was the case with Greg.

He was there to work; harder than most. The fact that he is an amputee made no difference, yet made all the difference. I watched Greg’s presence raise the level-of-effort throughout the gym, mine included. By the time I introduced myself, he was cooling down on a recumbent bike, still sweating more than me. I thanked him for the inspiration and asked, “Was it one of the three ‘Cs’ – cancer, combat, childhood injury?”

There was no hint of annoyance with my imposition, nor hesitation with his answer. He smiled and replied “You forgot diabetes and motorcycle crash. Those are the two I get most often.”

It was a motorcycle crash; broadsided by a car that ran a red light.

Greg freely shared his story there in the gym, and poolside as we chatted off and on the next few days. I quickly came to appreciate and respect his disposition, the human being he is, and what he does to counsel others who’ve suffered catastrophic injuries.

In his book Call Sign Chaos, Jim Mattis quotes a writing by President Thomas Jefferson that reads, “What is good in this case cannot be effected. We have, therefore, only to find out what will be least bad.” According to Mattis, Jefferson was speaking of how to deal with England in 1807.

The context is clearly different, and I don’t presume to speak for Greg. But in my conversations with him, I understood that for three years he underwent recommended surgeries in attempts to preserve his damaged limb. He told me having it removed was one of the best decisions of his life. In his case the ‘good’ could not be effected. His lower leg and foot, despite being ‘preserved’, did not function properly. Amputation, while perhaps the ‘least bad’ option to him at the time, ultimately became the best solution. It’s tough to argue that truth when you see Greg walking down the beach, jumping in the pool, or out-sweating others in the gym. By the way, he still loves to waterski.

Truth is, I wasn’t most stirred by how Greg carried himself, his impressive physical shape, or even his tolerance of a stranger interrupting his workout to ask personal questions. It was his humble spirit and positive attitude. I noted many nuggets of wisdom as we talked, but the one that stuck with me most went something like this: ‘I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going’.

Well said, Greg. And well-lived. I hope to go skiing with you in South Texas sometime.

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Mattis, J.N. & West, F.J. (2019). Call sign chaos. New York, NY: Random House.

Six Foot Cup

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I am at odds with myself. I have become increasingly conflicted. I feel this way; then that way. I’m at peace and content; then I’m stressed and unsettled. This statistic is concerning; but that doesn’t add up. Remote work is getting old; but I don’t want to go back to work. It’s reasonable to respect the seriousness of the pandemic and not be careless or reckless; but until the vaccine is predominant, it’s obvious the virus is going to do what it wants to do, restrictions or not.

What explains those who diligently wear masks, socially distance, and adhere to every recommendation and edict from the experts, yet are still infected? What explains how some states’ restrictions are driving small businesses and restaurants into extinction, while others, with fewer restrictions, have lower death rates, citizens are happy, and businesses thrive? It seems the things we think are most helpful aren’t a silver bullet after all, and things we think are most perilous maybe aren’t as devastating as we thought.

I liken it somewhat to parenting. You can do everything wrong and your kid will still turn out alright; you can do everything right and your kid will still take a left at Albuquerque, delivering indescribable anguish.

Point: Many people have done everything right, yet still catch COVID.

Counter-Point: Many people have been careless, nonchalant, or downright rebellious to recommendations, yet they’re doing fine.

Truth: There is a worldwide crisis.

Sad-Truth: Political posturing has been rife throughout the crisis…on all sides.

I grieve for what our country has become. No longer a shining example of democracy to the world, we have lost a common sense of dignity and respect. Peaceful protests are one thing. But antagonism has led to months of destructive civil unrest, disobedience, death, and millions in damages. The U.S. is supposed to be the world’s democratic leader. Now we look like a dysfunctional junior high school. Our political ‘leaders’ and elected officials have cast aside statesmanship, diplomacy, and decorum in favor of hissy-fits and name-calling. Taking credit or blaming others for something clearly beyond anyone’s complete understanding takes precedence over doing the right thing.

As a man of faith, I’m called to be subject to governing authority, and to be anxious for nothing (Rom 13.1; Philippians 4.6). But I am admittedly frustrated and confused. My heart aches for those who have lost loved ones to this wicked affliction. And for people losing their life savings and livelihoods because they aren’t allowed to responsibly resume reasonable, careful business operations; or go back to work at the jobs necessary to do so.

What does all that have to do with six foot cups of coffee? Everything!!

These are tough times even for the strongest among us. People’s mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being have been challenged greatly since this began. Humans are social creatures; nearly a year of social distancing and isolation has been devastating. We need each other!

Hollywood might be onto something, for at least one pivotal scene always seems to take place in a booth or at the counter of a classic roadside diner. Heroes, villains, fugitives, unlikely lovers figuring things out, or conspirators planning a heist. Best done over a hot cup of Joe!

There’s nothing quite like sitting down with a friend. Self-care, buddy-check, confessional, solving world problems, venting. Whatever the reason, it’s good and necessary. I love my alone time…but I need people too! Bonus when it’s without agenda or drama or judgment or problems that need solved.

Such was the advent of the ‘six foot cup’.

It came about during a virtual team meeting. As I expressed my concern over current events and the well-being of my people, I also shared some of my own struggles with so much social isolation. I end meetings imploring them to call, text, email, or video me any time if they need anything or just want to talk. Pleasantly, a number of them have. On this occasion I offered to meet anywhere in the state for a ‘socially-distanced’ cup of coffee.

Immediately, a trusted colleague and friend – intuitive to my need, and perhaps desiring some adult conversation himself – messaged to take me up on that “six foot cup”. Therapeutic for us both, we’ve since met twice.

I refuse to live my life in fear of this pandemic. But I likewise refuse to allow my actions to cause others concern or to stumble. I continue to respect the well-being (and fears) of others and adhere to the precautions of wearing a mask and not being careless in contact or interactions with others. These are not unreasonable expectations for anyone.

Maybe it is also reasonable not to pretend to know things we don’t; not to regurgitate dubious statistics; not to buy into or create false narratives; or not to concern ourselves with outward appearances…while being filled with questionable or self-serving motives.

“Woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry…” (Luke 11.46)

“Everything they do is done for people to see.” (Matt. 23.4-5)

God is in control. We are not God. Be wary of those who think they are.

It’s a miracle he hasn’t already smote every one of us for our selfishness, disobedience, and unfaithfulness.

Thanks for the six-foot cup, Karl. Next week?

2nd Annual Year in Review

As the calendar turned two years ago I quoted David Jeremiah, who wrote: “A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others.  Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” The world has been hurting, and many suffered greatly in 2020. Maybe that quote would be better served to start 2021.

The premise behind beyondstrength.org is that strength is more than just being physically strong. It’s also about finding strength in weakness, and helping others get strong, be strong, and stay strong. Thank you, 2020, for proving that premise to be necessarily self-evident.

There’s no sense lamenting the things here we’ve lived ad nauseam the past 10 months via revolving news networks. Instead, I will continuing the fledgling tradition of recapping my blatherings from the past year.

Surely you read, enjoyed, related to, and benefited from all of my writings the last 12 months?! On the outside chance you missed any of these ‘life-altering’ posts, here’s a summary of Beyond Strength articles from the dumpster fire of a year called 2020.

Cause for Delay (video): Starting the year already behind schedule, I bought time by sending a video update from the island of Lesvos, Greece. I was there with a short-term mission team providing humanitarian support to refugees at Moria Camp. It was an amazing experience and added valuable context to my life experience and walk of faith.

The Leadership T.R.A.P.: The article used the acronym to compare and contrast Task versus Relationship focused leaders and Authority versus the Power-focused leader. Tasks tend to be one-dimensional…just get it done. But tasks and overall mission are best accomplished when relationships built of genuine care for your people come first.

Free Samples of Forgiveness: I get bogged down dwelling on my mistakes or how I’ve been wronged by others. Counselors call that ruminating. My struggles in this area are rooted in difficulties accepting and granting forgiveness. I’m committed offering forgiveness more freely and being grateful for forgiveness I’m granted. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6.14-15

March Forth: What better month than March to march forth toward fulfilling your purpose, achieving your goals, or making the world a better place?  I suggested some ideas like starting a blog or other venture; starting a reading program; volunteering; or getting your fitness goals on track. How did you do?

Well That’s Fabulous: Chances are you’ve seen or heard the abbreviation ‘wtf’. If seeing it makes you uneasy, don’t be. It stands for Well That’s Fabulous. WTF was a discussion about the disturbing trends being witnessed within the pandemic. This is an unprecedented crisis; no one person, organization, or government has all the answers. People should stop blaming others; stop trying to advance personal and political agendas; stop arguing about who should have done what, when; and stop trying to be an infectious disease, economics, supply chain, business, or political expert. Instead, start being more caring, compassionate, cooperative, humble, and kind.

Conspiring for Good: Election interference and virtually everything surrounding COVID-19 generated rife theories of conspiracy or malfeasance that continue to thrive. Whether conspiracy theories do more harm than good or serve to help maintain proper balance in the world, it can take years for the truth to be revealed…and even then there will be those who doubt. Conspiracies make for great entertainment, but also cause great divisiveness. Commit to conspiring to do good.

Be the Solution, Not the Problem: Here were a few ideas I shared to be more of a solution than a problem.

  • Make room for God in your life. When we understand our own unworthiness compared to a Holy God, we tend to be less of a problem for others.
  • Stop claiming the misfortunes of others as your own in some attempt to justify living however you want, or as an excuse for your own bad behavior. “Let your light shine before others…” (Matt. 5.16)
  • Embrace diversity. Enable diversity to foster and thrive by treating everyone with dignity and respect.
  • Take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings. Owning your mistakes is solution-oriented; blaming others makes you part of the problem.
  • Pick up after yourself; leave things better than you found them; say please, thank you, and I love you more often.
  • If you see someone struggling or in need, help them. Saying to yourself, “It’s not my problem” is part of the problem.

Heard, Understood, Acknowledged: An essay about the challenges of interpersonal and organizational communication. Sometimes it’s not what I say, but my delivery that sucks. Like other challenges, there’s probably no easy answer to solving communication problems. But I have found timeliness, openness, transparency, and over-communicating helps. Can you hear me now?

Gains without Pain: There’s something to be learned from pain in our lives, be it physical, emotional, psychological, or otherwise.

  1. Recognize its warning
  2. Protect the injured area(s)
  3. Strengthen surrounding structures that are weak
  4. Properly address and treat the root cause
  5. Don’t bury, numb, or mask it with medication, over-indulgence, or risky behavior
  6. Avoid it when it’s causing damage or grief

As we move on from 2020 into the new year, I pray you’ll have a Happy(er) New Year, you’ll continue to follow along, and that you’ll make a positive difference in others’ lives.

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” – Jackie Robinson

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong, Stay Strong.