Phantom of the Opera. The story of a disfigured, bitter, reclusive musical genius who becomes obsessed with a young singer. As one of the most popular musicals of the last 30 years, it is perhaps most recognizable through the mask behind which the phantom hides. The story speaks to the human condition on many levels: loneliness, intrigue, fascination, love, possessiveness, jealousy, insecurity, heartbreak, and more. The mask alone points toward our fascination with Halloween, super heroes, disguising ourselves to extend the boundaries of our inhibitions, ‘masking’ characteristics of ourselves we don’t want other people to see, or adopting a persona more confident than we really are.
Patrick King says “If you want to be confident, you have to look confident.” But what if you’re not…and you don’t? It’s often easier to pretend to be something or someone you’re not than to ‘be real’ with others (or yourself). There are no doubt more people than we think who ‘mask’ characteristics of themselves or hide who they really are rather than risk exposing weakness, insecurity, or themselves to critics so busy pointing out others’ flaws they fail to recognize their own (cf. Matt. 7.3 about specks and planks).
Is there an appropriate balance?
It has become trendy in leadership, business, and politics to demand transparency and expect vulnerability. I don’t disagree these are necessary and, in fact, people tend to be drawn more to those who are open and engaging than those who aren’t. People who hold their cards close to the vest reveal few personal details and often come across as stand-offish, aloof, or just plain rude. As. such, I tend (perhaps incorrectly) to interpret that as a sign they don’t trust me enough to be open. I feel hurt and disappointed by that. Still, when I take time to take me out of the equation, I realize maybe they’ve erected emotional barriers to protect themselves from being hurt, used, or otherwise taken advantage of.
Maybe they’re onto something.
Are we even ready for people to take their mask off and be real with us? I sometimes wish I was less transparent or vulnerable. As a lifetime ‘over-sharer’ who tends to wear my heart on my sleeve, I know how easily and often people like that are used, hurt, or otherwise taken advantage of. Perhaps nice guys really do finish last. Another good reason to hide oneself? Or maybe it’s just a convenient excuse.
Happy Halloween!
Halloween is upon us. Literally THE time of wearing masks, hiding behind costumes, and pretending to be someone or something other than ourselves. Despite strong convictions and varying views about it among many in the faith community, Halloween has been one of my favorite holidays since childhood. Maybe it’s because for a moment in time I could be an astronaut or a cowboy; a policeman or a scarecrow; or anything I wanted to be…instead of the skinny, hyper, annoying, often unkempt neighborhood kid. I suspect similar reasons explain why some are drawn to performing on stage and screen, or other careers spent in costume. Er, I mean in uniform…
Eddy Space Program, circa 1973 
Shine On 
Scooby Snack?
The entire season is a joy for me and my family. We love cider and donuts, carving pumpkins together, decorating the house, and the smell of burning leaves in the neighborhood. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are dressing up and trick-or-treating around the neighborhood, going to the annual Lakeview Lions Club costume contest my dad emceed in the parking lot of the old Cut Rate Supermarket, and comparing the ‘take’ of goods at the end of the night. I still have a scar on my foot from unwittingly running through a pile of burning leaves in the dark as I narrowly (and excitedly) escaped some older kids seeking a shortcut to the candy mother-load!
It doesn’t need to end October 31st.
My wife and I recently attended the wedding of a friend and coworker. From the announcement to save-the-date for a party during which ‘a wedding will also take place’, we knew it would be special. It turned out to be one of the best weddings ever. The nuptials took place on the roof of the historic Detroit Opera House, followed by a masquerade party reception throughout the majestic grand foyer. Mystery, intrigue, frivolity, and self-confidence fueled by fancy clothes and fancier masks.
Inhibitions and judgment be gone!
Enjoy occasions to dress up and let your hair down…without fear of criticism. Let’s tear down barriers in our personal and professional relationships by taking off our masks and being real with one another.
How much more effective could we be in all areas of our life if we stopped masking who we really are, and allowed others to do the same…judgment free?
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Happy Halloween!