Think about a characteristic that makes a leader great. Now think of a person you know who exhibits that trait. What else is it about that person that sets them apart? Is it their ability to make a decision or speak their mind? Is it because they are smart, approachable, charismatic, visionary, caring, or empathetic? Do they just seem to just handle themselves (and others) well? If you work for them, is it because you know they always ‘have your back’.

I doubt any of the characteristics that came to mind had to do with managing spreadsheets or mastering tasks. Those are great situational qualities, but we are talking about leadership acumen. Probably no one came to mind because of their keen ability to boss people around, impose their will, or because they know a lot of important people.

I’ve written about all these types before, but I had a chance to summarize some of this for a recent speaking engagement. I used an acronym as my outline to quickly compare and contrast some leadership traits for that talk.

You should understand this about my history with acronyms: while I use them often to help a simple-minded man like me organize my thoughts, they can sometimes have unintended consequences.

For instance, some years ago during the challenging times surrounding Presidential Budget 2013 (PB13), I gave a leadership keynote to a large group of military members. It focused on motivating them to control what they could control, see things from a larger organizational perspective, recognize the importance of teamwork, and try to always do more than expected. A short time after that speech I received an email from one of the senior noncommissioned officers in attendance thanking me and summarizing my talk in the following acronym.

T.U.R.D.

Take an enterprising look. Understand you can only control what you can control. Relationships are key. Do more than expected.

Yep. Perhaps NOT mentioning how much I like acronyms at the start of the talk would have been good. On the plus side, his acronym actually summarized things nicely and would have saved them from listening to me blather on.

I now try to provide the acronym to audiences ahead of time!

The acronym TRAP in the title is meant to compare and contrast Task versus Relationship focused leadership (the hugging and spanking, as Jim Hunter points out), and Authority versus the Power-focused (autocratic) leader.

Tasks tend to be one-dimensional, like a checklist. Get it done, check it off. A lot of good work gets done that way. Like spanking, it may address an issue at the moment, but there is some debate whether it really ‘hurts me more than it hurts you’. When the business (task) is balanced first with relationships built on genuine care for the those accomplishing the tasks, the work still gets done (often more quickly and efficiently) while increasing people’s motivation, satisfaction, and performance. Sustained performance doesn’t increase from being bullied into submission. And the time to try building a relationship isn’t in the midst of a crisis.

Authority speaks to respect and dignity. Helping others learn, do, and be successful for the betterment of the whole. A true leader exercises authority from a position of humility, understanding their authority is ultimately derived from those whom he or she serves. It should never be wielded carelessly or recklessly from a position of power, as in the adage ‘when a hammer is your only tool, everything looks like a nail’.

Power is that hammer. “Do it or else!” I can’t help but also think of the well-used ‘Seagull Management’ analogy here: flying around making a bunch of noise, pooping on everyone, stealing their food, and then flying away while others clean up the mess.

Whether you’re reading this as a leader, follower, neither, or somewhere in between, perhaps the words of my friend, former POW Colonel Ed Hubbard, are relevant: “Everything that happens in your life is judged good or bad compared to something that has already happened.” It’s not what happens that is most important…it’s how we respond.

If you’re someone who relates and responds more to tasks and power than relationships and authority, maybe something in your past has made you that way. Or perhaps you’ve just become complacent.

Complacency had become an issue for some toward the end of my tour in Iraq. A sign on one of the bunkers we took cover in when under attack read “Complacency doesn’t kill, poor leadership does.”

Boom.

Don’t be a seagull. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

For more on this subject, see my related article Egos & Empires.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.