A recent sermon at church was a continuation in Hebrews 12. I had my ‘travel Bible’ with me that day. It’s been all over the world with me, and is not unlike me: simple, old, and tattered. Edges frayed, falling apart, and the binding is held together with duct tape. It’s time for a change.

One theme of Hebrews 12 is restructuring one’s life around the ongoing purposes of God. In other words, to organize differently, convert, change. The author also writes of running the race of faith with perseverance and gaining strength and maturity through trials, pain, or hardships that ultimately result in “a harvest of righteousness and peace…”.

Excluding the economy, I certainly don’t assess retirement thus far as pain, hardship, or trial. But while the perpetual pulse of stress is gone, I haven’t felt quite ‘at peace’ as I expected. Restless sleep and trouble relaxing persist, as does anxiousness and feeling unsettled. A brief ‘honeymoon period’ of bliss has passed. I even relapsed into some edginess, which was “sorely missed”…by no one.

I’m reluctant to attribute my disquietness to a single source. I imagine instead it’s a combination of factors acclimating to the changing season of my life. But if I’m being honest, a work issue that lacked closure, and now impacts more than just its own disposition, has leveraged hard against a pleasing adjustment to retirement.

If you’re reading this, you know beyondstrength.org is a ‘motivational ministry’. My mission is to provide encouragement, make positive change in my life, help others do the same, and make the world a better place. I even doubled-down in my last article about my desire is to live humbly without entitlement to anger or offense. To be unoffendable, as Brant Hansen calls it.

Ironically, the issue above involves a situation where I offended someone. It wasn’t intentional or malicious. In fact, I wasn’t even aware until being told, secondhand, that a complaint was made. My heart aches knowing I unwittingly hurt someone, made worse by never having the chance to address the matter directly or otherwise make it right.

While human nature tempts me to take it personal or question the timing and motive, Brant Hansen reminds me that “We simply can’t trust our judgments of others. We don’t know what they’re really thinking, or their background, or what really motivated whatever they did.” So why spend time, effort, or emotional energy on things outside our control?

But God is in control. And he sees things we don’t.

We only see what’s in front of us…the here and now. God sees the ‘whole parade’ (as says the Go Fish song).

But I’m not going to lie…this hurts. A lot.

I know who I am and what I stand for. Despite my shortcomings, I work hard to be a source of blessing and edification to others. Some don’t always see it that way, and that’s ok; I don’t know someone else’s private motives or what’s in their heart. It’s not my job to judge motives, anyway.

My job is to find significance and satisfaction in my relationship with God, rather than in the approval or admiration of others.

Still, I can’t make people like or respect me. And in some cosmic conspiracy against my emotions, I actually care what people think about me.

Long ago, on a page of that tattered Bible, I had written “Maturity is the result of how we respond to trials, not the trials themselves.”

I certainly haven’t arrived yet, but I’ve made considerable progress responding to trials in my life. I’m not the same man I was. I also know God’s not finished with me yet.

In his book The Men We Need, Brant Hansen shares an applicable quote from Greek philosopher Heraclitus: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

Another philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, astutely (albeit harshly) wrote this gem: “You are an old man…so no longer be pulled by the strings like a puppet…no longer either be dissatisfied with your present lot, or shrink from the future.”

I’m thankful for where God has me right now, and ready to adjust to whatever he has for me next.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Persecution is painful; it wounds both body and soul.

But I refuse to let a dubious blip on the ending credits of my career overshadow an entire life of serving others with courage, honor, dignity, and respect.

And for those who judge me differently because of the blip, there’s a relevant passage in the Gospel of John…something about casting stones.

Changing ‘climate’ can be as easy as adjusting the thermostat or going south for the winter. I’ve found acclimating to change isn’t quite that simple. Accordingly, seeking God and growing stronger, wiser, and more faithful in retirement is my climate change strategy.

God is good. I trust him. And I believe he’ll sort it all out and set things right in the end.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalms 27.14

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). The men we need. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

Hansen, Brant (2015). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Robertson, Donald (2020). Meditations the philosophy classic (based on The Thoughts of Emperor M. Aurelius Antoninus, translated by George Long). West Sussex, UK: Wiley

Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Franzel / Troccoli / Wirkowski Parade lyrics © Bird Wins Publishing, Capitol CMG Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group