4th Annual Year in Review

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February marks five years since I started beyondstrength.org. I intended it as a mechanism for personal healing, as well as a way to share some of the triumphs, failures, and lessons learned from a life of military service and public safety. I’m just an ordinary man, but I’ve been blessed with some extraordinary opportunities, training, education, and experiences. Having served and led from the lowest to highest levels of leadership, I’m well-traveled, well-read, I’ve seen and done a lot of things many have not, and I have an insatiable appetite for applied learning. What profit come in keeping these good, bad, and ugly exploits to myself? Reverend Nicky Gumbel puts it this way: “If you have been blessed by God, it is not for your own selfish indulgence or self-congratulation; it is in order that you can be a blessing to others.” How can I not share with others what God has ordained in my life?

Five years in, I think Beyond Strength has largely met its original intent.

Still, ‘exponential’ growth has been elusive, and I’ve been an epic failure at convincing anyone to actually buy the super-cool motivational and marketing stuff. But hey, they make great gifts!

Well, except for that one time at work…😳

But growth and cool merch have never been the point, and for a man of faith not much is coincidental. Like Joseph’s perspective after his brothers sold him into slavery, I know God uses even the bad for good…including that which others intended as evil.

So here’s your 4th Annual Year in Review! Social influencer or not, I’m hopeful that the content was mildly entertaining, inspiring, meaningful, helpful in some way, and consistent with my vision for this venture.

Failures & Faith (2/21/2022) – God looks at the sincerity of our faith, not our failures. Unlike us, he accurately assesses our motives, looking at the heart and crediting us for our faith without misreading our actions or keeping score.

Time, Distance, & Shielding (4/25/2022) – Time, distance, and shielding conceptualized the recommended course of action in the event of nuclear detonation. This also applies to other areas of life. Manage immediate risks by creating separation, physically and emotionally; give yourself time to assess, process, and plan; protect yourself by taking cover, erecting barriers, and building resilience until the unpleasantries pass.

Sounds Like Fun (6/18/2022) – Joy is a key ingredient to living a full life. Bonus that often our most productive days are the most enjoyable. Rejoice always…(1 Thessalonians 5.16)

Garage Sales & Garbage (8/13/2022) – Living a better life may involve getting rid of excessive garbage, literally and figuratively. Happiness and contentment are the result of disposition, not circumstances or an abundance of ‘things’. Maybe it’s time to get serious about removing things from our life we no longer need.

Climate Change (9/26/2022) – While changing ‘climate’ can be as easy as adjusting the thermostat or going south for the winter, acclimating to change isn’t quite that simple.

Vultures Will Gather (11/7/2022) – Buzzards aren’t the only creatures attracted to death or affliction. Human vultures are often circling around, fascinated with distress and eager to victimize their prey. Be strong, and don’t be an easy target.

Broken Together (12/10/2022) – Perfection is impossible for humans. So why should anyone be surprised when someone they love does something that hurts them? But “God delights in making something beautiful out of something broken.” (Pastor Don Denyes) The only answer to the enormous mess that selfish, unfaithful, broken, untrustworthy humans have made of everything is a Savior.

FITNESS UPDATE

Beyond Strength is wordplay to emphasize being strong in life means more than physical strength. However, part of this motivational ministry does involve physical wellness (Life, Leadership, and Fitness). Accordingly, here’s a snapshot of my personal fitness efforts over 2022 to help motivate and encourage.

Two years ago I committed to doing my age in push-ups every day, which amounted to about 20,000 last year. Use whatever works for you…five sets of 11 or 11 sets of five. I typically split mine up between two and five sets. I also did 217 primarily ‘strength’ workouts (weights, yoga, calisthenics, HIIT, etc.) and 91 primarily ‘cardio’ workouts (walking/running). It seems like a lot written out, but don’t be daunted. My workouts are typically 30 minutes or less, and I averaged less than eight miles running or walking per week last year (excluding fitness tracker step credit). Consistency is key. I’ve spent decades building a fitness lifestyle, so I know making exercise a habit is what keeps me going. Commit to walking just a mile every day or two, and doing a few pushups or body-weight squats to start. Nothing excessive; knee pushups are fine if you struggle with standard; wall-sits or walking a few flights of stairs are also good. Don’t get discouraged or beat yourself up if you feel unmotivated or miss a workout. It takes somewhere between 21 and 66 days to form a habit, so don’t give up…just start again tomorrow!

Please link to the 2022 articles above, have a look, and consider subscribing via email to this unapologetic motivational ministry. I also encourage you to consider partnering with me by purchasing any store merchandise that motivates or interests you, or by making a small donation. Each store purchase directly supports this site, and 10% of every donation will be given to the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States.

I’m grateful for your support and look forward to a great 2023 together.

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Audio version now available here!

Broken Together: Can Grace, Mercy, Commitment, and Forgiveness Save Your Fairytale?

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Listen along to the audio version here.

Have you heard ‘bad things come in threes’ or ‘the power of threes’ in business and leadership? I often use a ‘three points’ approach when public speaking. Conveniently, three timely things helped bring this essay to life: a wedding anniversary, a song, and a holiday. Honestly, I prefer to set this subject matter aside for another time (or not at all) because I know there are some who will get the wrong idea, be hurt, offended, or tempted to judge me. But my mind keeps returning to it, so I’m stuck like a worm on a hook: squirming around…about to be in over my head.

I missed when news recently broke of an affair between two popular television personalities. Other than sorrow over more broken families, it doesn’t impact me. But it is a public and familiar reminder of our overall brokenness. And conveniently helps weave my three points together.

First, my wife and I recently celebrated 32 years of marriage. If you’ve read the ‘About the Author’ segment of this site or heard me talk, you’ll note I reference ‘miraculous’ to describe the longevity of my marriage. A 32-year marriage is somewhat statistically uncommon today. Consider this exemplification: a while back I was catching up with an old military friend. During our conversation he asked how many kids I have. When I said “three”, he promptly and in all sincerity asked, “All with the same woman?!?”

While all that may appear mildly noteworthy, my use of ‘miraculous’ is a bit of an understatement. I’m a complete wretch…which is NOT statistically uncommon.

As such, even though our marriage is still relatively intact, we’ve been through some stuff. Lots of stuff. Thankfully, I am married to an uncommonly gracious and committed wife, and I have a savior who is even more merciful and forgiving than she is.

And both know how broken I am.

Second, Casting Crowns has an excellent song titled Broken Together that I again heard around the time of the ‘breaking news’. Here are the lyrics (choruses eliminated for brevity):

What do you think about when you look at me? I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be. You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand. And we dove into a mystery.

How I wish we could go back to simpler times. Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light. Now on this hallowed ground we’ve drawn the battle lines. Will we make it through the night?

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

Chorus: Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together? If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine, could healing still be spoken and save us? The only way we’ll last forever, is broken together.

How it must have been so lonely by my side. We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind. I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align, and we won’t give up the fight.

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

(Chorus x 2)

I come from a broken home. Divorce sucks. Many of my friends and relatives ended up in broken homes. I’m the last person entitled to sermonize right or wrong ways of handling marriage or relationships. I’m absolutely not condemning anyone who’s had multiple marriages or children with different parents. In no way am I being critical of past decisions, those made beyond one’s control, doing whatever was necessary to stay safe, or any one of 100 other scenarios resulting in fractured families. I don’t know what others have been through, experienced, or might now be going through. Any one of those scenarios could easily be mine.

I write this based on my personal experiences and past. My experience is that while it may be necessary or even justified, divorce complicates everything: finances, raising children, school activities, kids sports, relationships, weddings, funerals, and even holidays. Especially holidays. The first time I ever heard my dad cry was when I was a child and we missed a family Christmas. He tried desperately to manage everything and make it special for us kids, but by the time he picked us up from my mom’s and got to my uncle’s house, they had already celebrated without us. He was crushed.

I’m not suggesting it’s okay to do whatever we want or to be unconcerned with the consequences of our actions. That sort of moral relativism is as ill-advised as being self-righteous. Sadly, both are as pervasive today as in ancient times, and bring me to my last point.

Christmas is coming.

Perfection is God’s standard for salvation, which is impossible for humans. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, the Messiah. God’s Son born into the world to be a perfect and final sacrifice some 33-years later. Atonement for an imperfect world.

The only answer to this enormous mess that selfish, unfaithful, broken, untrustworthy humans made of everything is a Savior.

I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. Nothing here is intended to be personal or hurtful. No matter what we think of ourselves compared to others, we’re all equally defective. Each of us is as morally guilty as any other transgressor. “Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2.10); “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (Rom 3.10, Ps. 14.3; 53.3)

Brant Hansen puts is this way: “Whatever anyone’s done to me, or to anyone else, I stand just as guilty. People have lied to me, but I’ve lied too. People have been unfaithful to me, but I’ve been unfaithful too. People have hurt me, and I’ve hurt them.”

Why should anyone be surprised when someone they love does something that hurts them?

Faith is a journey. I suggest the same is true of relationships. “God delights in making something beautiful out of something broken.” – Pastor Don Denyes

Don’t give up!

And don’t miss the reason for the season. “For unto us a child is born…” (Isa. 9.6).

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Source: Musixmatch. Songwriters: Bernie Herms / John Mark Hall. Broken Together lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, G650 Music, Pure Note Music, Songs Of Universal Inc. View the official lyric video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAvPDgKf30

vultures perched on leafless tree under blue sky

Vultures Will Gather

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I recently read a passage in the Gospel of Matthew I struggled to make sense of, which is not unusual. There are many things I don’t yet understand about God and his word. But I’m okay with that…a divine Creator completely understood within human reason wouldn’t be much of a god, anyway. A. W. Tozer seemed to relate a similar issue when he wrote, “Evils…will seem evils only because we cannot read the secret script of God’s hidden providence.”1

The passage contained this verse: “Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.” (Matt. 24.28)

Coincidentally and perhaps not-so-completely-unrelated, I first learned about Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) in college Spanish one long-ago fall semester. As I write this it’s Halloween time. I’m embarrassed to admit I used to confuse the two very different holidays.

A traditionally Mexican holiday celebrated within the first days of November, Dia de los Muertos is a time-honored observance of both life and death, abundant with bright colors, music, food, drink, and expressions of love and respect to honor the souls of deceased loved ones.

On the other hand, if ever existed any redeeming aspect of honoring saints at Halloween, that’s largely devolved to themes of frightening costumes, dubious behavior, witches, mayhem, and yes…death.

*Not an actual carcass or crime scene

Watch any old western and you’ll learn circling buzzards mean carcasses nearby. There isn’t space here to deep-dive my theological confusion, but it appears Matthew’s passage, like Luke 17, points to the end times and coming of God’s Kingdom. The widespread carnage, stench of death, and vultures everywhere will evidence the judgment.

But wildfowl aren’t the only creatures attracted to death or affliction. Metaphorically, human vultures are often busy circling, fascinated with the macabre and eager to prey on the downtrodden. I once had to fight off a vulturous hoodlum bent on ridding an unconscious victim of his wallet, even as paramedics and I worked to save his life.

And these familiar buzzards: ambulance-chasing attorneys lining their pockets with the currency of others’ misfortune; slippery televangelists milking the last few dollars of unsuspecting God-seekers; heirs historically uninvolved, conspicuously motivated when estates are settled; rubbernecking gore-mongers jamming traffic and compounding mayhem, instead of minding their own driving; or streaming fanatics unable to find anything as entertaining as bingeing the latest true crime show or similar exploitation of human anguish.

Incorrect assumptions, uninformed assertions, irresponsible gossip, careless rumors, and outright slander are especially hurtful, and too often the hallmarks of human vultures in our lives. Unlike the telltale orbit of winged predators, these ‘birds’ are especially hurtful and negligent because their plundering too often happens behind the backs of their troubled, downcast, or otherwise vulnerable prey.

Fortunately, not all are quite so iniquitous. Like colleagues circling your office or siblings dive-bombing your bedroom ready to snatch whatever goods and chattels might be up for grabs upon your departure. Of course, it’s possible you’ve just overstayed your welcome and they’re just waiting for the smelly log jam of ‘dead wood’ to clear…

Vultures will gather. So what’s a cadaver to do?

  1. Live. One sure way not to be a target of vultures is to not be dead. Be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually alive. Stay busy. Exercise, go for walks, read, pray, listen to music, sing, dance. Enjoy life and appreciate God’s beauty in people and the world.
  2. Love. Few people, even buzzards, wake up in the morning determined to hurt others. Maybe they’re oblivious to the pain they cause, or they just don’t care. Either way, that’s their issue…not yours. We have no idea what may be going on their life or the personal demons they fight. Maybe it’s divorce, addiction, abuse, illness, death of a loved one. Instead of being just another angry bird, be kind and compassionate. There’s a local business nearby that routinely employs people down on their luck or with checkered pasts. Affectionately referred to as ‘reclamation projects’, they help people when everyone else has given up on them. Second chances are part of their organizational culture and something we can all learn from. Everyone stumbles. Instead of throwing the ‘baby’ we once esteemed out with the bathwater, remember and appreciate all the positive things they’ve done. Just love them and give them the chance to keep doing great things.
  3. Laugh. Don’t take yourself so seriously…laughter is good medicine! Jump in a pile of leaves, play games, dress up for Halloween. A youthful heart beats strong and crow’s feet are much more attractive from smiling than stress.
  4. Learn from the goose. Buzzards are solitary, opportunistic predators. Geese, on the other hand, fly together, share responsibility for leading the flock, and care for one another when sick or wounded. That’s leadership 101…and pretty good relationship advice, too.
  5. Lean into God’s hidden providence. It’s easy to set our faith aside when things are going well, but the time to become acquainted isn’t in the midst of catastrophe. Seek to know God better now, and more will be revealed; in good times and bad. Walk by faith, not by sight…God is in control.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

The vultures didn’t mind the slow service.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/top-ten-day-of-dead-mexico

https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween

1Jeremiah, David (2014).  Quest devotional seeking God daily. San Diego, CA: Turning Point.

Climate Change

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A recent sermon at church was a continuation in Hebrews 12. I had my ‘travel Bible’ with me that day. It’s been all over the world with me, and is not unlike me: simple, old, and tattered. Edges frayed, falling apart, and the binding is held together with duct tape. It’s time for a change.

Simple. Old. Tattered. Essential.

One theme of Hebrews 12 is restructuring one’s life around the ongoing purposes of God. In other words, to organize differently, convert, change. The author also writes of running the race of faith with perseverance and gaining strength and maturity through trials, pain, or hardships that ultimately result in “a harvest of righteousness and peace…”.

Excluding the economy, I certainly don’t assess retirement thus far as pain, hardship, or trial. But while the perpetual pulse of stress is gone, I haven’t felt quite ‘at peace’ as I expected. Restless sleep and trouble relaxing persist, as does anxiousness and feeling unsettled. A brief ‘honeymoon period’ of bliss has passed. I even relapsed into some edginess, which was “sorely missed”…by no one.

I’m reluctant to attribute my disquietness to a single source. I imagine instead it’s a combination of factors acclimating to the changing season of my life. But if I’m being honest, a work issue that lacked closure, and now impacts more than just its own disposition, has leveraged hard against a pleasing adjustment to retirement.

If you’re reading this, you know beyondstrength.org is a ‘motivational ministry’. My mission is to provide encouragement, make positive change in my life, help others do the same, and make the world a better place. I even doubled-down in my last article about my desire is to live humbly without entitlement to anger or offense. To be unoffendable, as Brant Hansen calls it.

Ironically, the issue above involves a situation where I offended someone. It wasn’t intentional or malicious. In fact, I wasn’t even aware until being told, secondhand, that a complaint was made. My heart aches knowing I unwittingly hurt someone, made worse by never having the chance to address the matter directly or otherwise make it right.

While human nature tempts me to take it personal or question the timing and motive, Brant Hansen reminds me that “We simply can’t trust our judgments of others. We don’t know what they’re really thinking, or their background, or what really motivated whatever they did.” So why spend time, effort, or emotional energy on things outside our control?

But God is in control. And he sees things we don’t.

We only see what’s in front of us…the here and now. God sees the ‘whole parade’ (as says the Go Fish song).

But I’m not going to lie…this hurts. A lot.

I know who I am and what I stand for. Despite my shortcomings, I work hard to be a source of blessing and edification to others. Some don’t always see it that way, and that’s ok; I don’t know someone else’s private motives or what’s in their heart. It’s not my job to judge motives, anyway.

My job is to find significance and satisfaction in my relationship with God, rather than in the approval or admiration of others.

Still, I can’t make people like or respect me. And in some cosmic conspiracy against my emotions, I actually care what people think about me.

Long ago, on a page of that tattered Bible, I had written “Maturity is the result of how we respond to trials, not the trials themselves.”

I certainly haven’t arrived yet, but I’ve made considerable progress responding to trials in my life. I’m not the same man I was. I also know God’s not finished with me yet.

In his book The Men We Need, Brant Hansen shares an applicable quote from Greek philosopher Heraclitus: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

Another philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, astutely (albeit harshly) wrote this gem: “You are an old man…so no longer be pulled by the strings like a puppet…no longer either be dissatisfied with your present lot, or shrink from the future.”

I’m thankful for where God has me right now, and ready to adjust to whatever he has for me next.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Persecution is painful; it wounds both body and soul.

But I refuse to let a dubious blip on the ending credits of my career overshadow an entire life of serving others with courage, honor, dignity, and respect.

And for those who judge me differently because of the blip, there’s a relevant passage in the Gospel of John…something about casting stones.

Changing ‘climate’ can be as easy as adjusting the thermostat or going south for the winter. I’ve found acclimating to change isn’t quite that simple. Accordingly, seeking God and growing stronger, wiser, and more faithful in retirement is my climate change strategy.

God is good. I trust him. And I believe he’ll sort it all out and set things right in the end.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalms 27.14

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). The men we need. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

Hansen, Brant (2015). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Robertson, Donald (2020). Meditations the philosophy classic (based on The Thoughts of Emperor M. Aurelius Antoninus, translated by George Long). West Sussex, UK: Wiley

Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Franzel / Troccoli / Wirkowski Parade lyrics © Bird Wins Publishing, Capitol CMG Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

Garage Sales & Garbage

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Are you a garage sale-er? Maybe it should be garage ‘sailor’, due to the boatload of junk you just scored…effectively undoing the noteworthy progress you made decluttering the other crap you didn’t need.

As I enter retirement, I’ve turned some focus toward trying to declutter, minimize, simplify, and eradicate hurry from my life.

Don’t judge me, I’m only two weeks in.

Having long been an avid reader, burning through books is nothing new. But a couple of recent selections have been borderline providential, making me wish I could turn back time and do some things differently. In fact, applying even some of the concepts to my life from any of the last three or four I’ve read could either elevate my marriage, or end it.

Here’s why.

I’ve done things a certain way for so long that to change now could be too shocking. Personality is formed very young, as are many of our habits and tendencies. While changes can occur over time through significant life events, trauma, or when things happen like ‘finding’ God, basic personality and behavioral characteristics become evident pretty early and stay pretty consistent. Unfortunately, in my case “Once a pack-rat, always a pack-rat” comes to mind here. Pretty sure I got that from my dad.

But people are different.

The character development between the Focker and Byrne families, particularly Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman, in Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers, is a remarkable and hilariously accurate depiction of what I’m talking about. Ultra-conservative, Type-A, ex-CIA agent versus free-loving, free-living, old-school hippie-type.

Behavior and personalty in mind, for me to suddenly clean out my closet and keep only a handful of clothes; outfit a small Honduran village by ridding myself of extraneous shoes; contract a mobile shredding service so we have a four bedroom home again; dispose of the notion that a new RV costing more than our first and second homes (combined) would be better than our cozy, 20-year-old-paid-for-Griswold-mobile; or torpedo dreams of someday living on a lake again or having a cabin up north and a trailer down south might be a bit of a shock to my loved ones.

Don’t get me wrong; I pride myself on having successfully managed a comfortable, modest, conservatively apportioned life as a public servant on a single-income. It wasn’t always easy. There were many times we wondered ‘what could have been’ if both of us had careers outside the home. We ultimately surrendered strong desires to keep up with the Joneses in order to keep a mother at home with her kids. But dang, I want some of that! In fact, I sometimes get a little irritated because I don’t have more of the good stuff like many of my friends. I mean, I’ve worked hard and collected some pretty significant emotional and psychological road rash along the way. Don’t I deserve it?

The answer is no.

I’m not suggesting we should’t have nice things, or that people who do should feel bad about it. To each his own.

As I write this, I’m riding Amtrak’s City of New Orleans back home from an annual board meeting and symposium. I’ve had time to start a new book: Brant Hansen’s Unoffendable. There’s so much great stuff about living a better life by dropping anger and letting things go. I’m convinced much of our anger, defensiveness, judgment, self-righteousness, and envy comes down to the feeling of being denied what we think we deserve and taking things personally. It’s situations like mentioned above when I must remind myself that what others have (do, did, think, feel, believe) is not about me. I have nothing to prove. Hansen says, “When we really believe that, we’ll hardly be quick to anger.” (cf. James 1.19)

I would add “Or get defensive, judgmental, self-righteous, or jealous.”

In his book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, John Mark Comer wisely points out that being “Reasonably happy is more than enough.” Happiness or contentment isn’t the result of circumstances, but disposition. My selfish-self needs to hear that…often.

Comer also drops these two truth bombs:

  1. Dreaming of the perfect life…poisons our actual life
  2. Minimalism isn’t about living with nothing; it’s about living with less

I don’t pretend to have figured all this out on an 18-hour train ride two weeks into retirement. I’ve known and lived some of this for a long time. But my recent change in status – emancipation from the tyranny of the urgent – allows me to instead now focus on what’s truly important.

Combined with a few necessary changes in attitude and I’m ready to get serious about removing things from my life I no longer need; literally and figuratively.

I’ll start by trying hard to be Unoffendable.

I’ll also work on slowing down more (see my previous article); eliminating excess clothing, shoes, mugs, hats, papers, and other things I don’t need; setting limits and specific times to check emails and social media; and removing a whole lot of other things that cause stumbles, doubts, and distractions.

Maybe I should stay away from garage sales, too.

“[Live] in such a way that your unfulfilled desires no longer curb your happiness.” – John Mark Comer

What are some things you need to get rid of?

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Comer, John (2021). The ruthless elimination of hurry. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook.

Hansen, Brant (2022). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group.

Time, Distance, & Shielding

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Have you ever felt like a character in those Southwest Airlines commercials, where you just ‘wanna get away’? Getting away from unpleasant situations isn’t the only circumstance distancing ourselves might be beneficial. Not to mention going ‘off the grid’ for a while is often key to a good Hollywood storyline or character development. Consider the likes of Bond, Bourne, Skywalker, The Fugitive, or one of my favorites: the obscure yet entertaining pulp hero, Remo Williams. Whether finding oneself, outrunning murderous antagonists, leaving the ‘agency’, grieving, or just hiding out…time, distance, and shielding are often involved and necessary.

As the world has watched in disgust the Russian attack and atrocities against Ukraine, a concern of many is whether Putin will employ a nuclear weapon. As I contemplate the situation, I think back to my early military service when the Cold War was still a thing. Military strength and respect for nuclear deterrence created a tense, yet necessary combination for peace. Nukes required special care by those entrusted to handle and secure them. Should there be a detonation, knowing the hazards and protective measures associated with nuclear warfare was a must.

The concept I remember most is time, distance, and shielding.

My old training materials note that when a nuclear weapon detonates, a blinding flash of light (intense heat known as thermal radiation) is seen before the sound of the explosion, and the time between the flash and the sound depends on distance from the point of detonation. That thermal radiation, followed by neutron and gamma radiation, occur within the first minute. Fortunately, radiation decreases rapidly with distance. Time and distance; check.

Shielding addresses the last two effects: the devastating blast wave followed by radioactive fallout.

Collectively, time, distance, and shielding conceptualized the course of action to best protect against adverse effects. A concept I believe is applicable to other areas of life.

Long before nuclear weapons, the Bible recorded countless examples of time, distance, and shielding. A few that come to mind include flood-surviving Noah; David avoiding Saul’s relentless pursuit in the wilderness strongholds; the Israelites’ desert wandering after leaving Egypt; John’s exile to Patmos; and Paul’s time(s) in prison. Not to mention his admonishment for us to “flee” and “avoid” things like lust and foolish disputes. Cities of refuge (Joshua 20), where one who killed another accidentally and unintentionally could flee for protection from avengers until their day in court, epitomize the concept.

It’s easy to see how elements of time, distance, and shielding were used to protect, bring about change, or otherwise help people get to a place they needed to be…literally or figuratively. Sometimes the place we need to be involves getting away from our own thoughts for a while.

In his book Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness it, Ethan Cross mentions a concept called “temporal distancing”. He says temporal distancing involves keeping things in perspective by imagining how you’ll feel about a difficult circumstance years in the future, instead of in the moment.

Well before Cross wrote about the voices in my head, Marcus Aurelius shared remarkably similar wisdom about distancing and sheltering the mind from unwanted, unhealthy thoughts, and our sometimes harmful inner voice: “Tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind.” and “Such as are your habitual thoughts, so also will be the character of your mind.”

Still unconvinced about the non-nuclear applicability of time, distance, and shielding?

Maybe you’ve never had an argument with a spouse or loved one. Or a dramatic blowup after you ruined the life of your teenage daughter (again). Standard response plans in these scenarios include 1) getting away from the source (distancing), 2) for who knows how long (time), 3) by locking yourself in the bedroom or bathroom (shielding). *This may or may not be from personal experience.

Reenactment

Other real-life applicability might include things like avoiding the gym to rehab an injury; taking a vacation; retreating to quiet place to think through some things; avoiding situations that fuel weaknesses like pornography or lust; committal to a drug or alcohol rehab program. I don’t know how often this happens anymore, but there was even a time when judges offered a choice between compulsory military service or incarceration to wayward youth to give them the time, distance, and shielding they needed to get their life straight.

Having lived through more than a share of parental anguish, I think the those judges may have been onto something. Prayer is ceaseless, but there is only so much helplessness, frustration, and sleepless nights to give. Ultimately, incarceration or some other provision for time, distance, and shielding may be necessary for lasting change and recovery.

Whether trying to survive a nuclear detonation or mitigate some other destructive blast life throws at you, the concept is clear. Manage immediate risks by 1) acting quickly to create separation, physically and emotionally; 2) give yourself (or others) time to assess, process, and plan; and 3) protect yourself from the destructive surge and resulting fallout by taking cover, erecting barriers, and building resilience until the danger has passed.

Giving yourself the time, distance, and shielding needed to survive the worst of it, you’ll gain priceless experience and emerge stronger and better prepared to help yourself and others through the next blast that comes along.

I pray the people of Ukraine, and all of us, will continue to Get Strong, Be Strong, and Stay Strong.

Kross, Ethan (2021).  Chatter.  New York, NY: Crown.

Robertson, Donald (2020). Meditations the philosophy classic (based on The Thoughts of Emperor M. Aurelius Antoninus, translated by George Long). West Sussex, UK: Wiley.

Failures & Faith

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God looks not at our failures, but at the sincerity of our faith. The truth of that statement is found throughout history. Consider those honored as ‘Heroes of Faith’ by the author of Hebrews, who despite failing miserably earlier in life, were used mightily by God because of their faith.

Here are a few. 

Abraham, more concerned for his own well-being than his wife, passed her over to Pharaoh as his sister; later, his impatience with God’s timing would lead to hurt feelings and an unnecessary and unpleasant family dynamic.  Moses, long before leading his people out of Egypt, killed and buried an Egyptian, then hypocritically tried to play peacemaker between two of his kinsmen.  Both Moses and the valiant Gideon would doubt their abilities, self-worth, question God’s instruction, and resist their calling. And like many other men, the mighty Samson and King David were both enslaved to passion, self-indulgence, and captivated by beauty.  

Stories like this aren’t uncommon. Industry leaders, CEOs, Hollywood icons, athletes, and everyday people are stumbling masters of imperfection. Yet many contribute greatly and attain high levels of success and achievement. So why is this important, and why now?

Timing and proximity.

For a while now, my pastor has been preaching through the book of Hebrews.  Chapter 11 focuses on triumphant faith. Examining those highlighted as heroes of faith gives me hope…even heroes fail.  But faith endures, and by it they “…conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions…escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong” (Heb. 11.33-34; emphasis added).  Their faith gained them approval from God, because faith is evidence of the heart.  And God looks at our heart, not how many mistakes we make.  

But faith will be tested. 

Unfortunately for those who dislike discomfort, the pastor points out that for faith to mature it must be pressed…as olives are to making oil.  Faith is refined (matured) in the process of being crushed.  

It seems failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

I don’t know where you land on the coincidence versus serendipity versus providence spectrum, but just days ago Tim Tebow, a man I respect for his faith journey, encouraged followers to embrace failure as a growth and learning opportunity.  Part of his post read “Failing doesn’t make you a failure”.   While he’s experienced some incredible success in his life, he’s also experienced significant disappointment.  His faith still shines above it all. 

I don’t know him personally, but I expect he would agree that faith is something we experience.   Whether we live to be 100 or our days are cut short, faith is a journey, not a destination.  And sometimes God uses even a short life to make a lasting impact.  

It’s not comforting, but people of faith know that sometimes God’s greater purpose outweighs temporary discomfort. 

“Counting on the future is folly.” – Charles Spurgeon 

We are two years into a pandemic we were told would be under control within a couple of weeks. Many have lost faith in authorities and experts because of their inability to provide consistent guidance or expected results. Don’t count on the future.

Those who lost friends or loved ones to COVID likely had their faith tested.  Unrelated to the pandemic, my family and others close to me have experienced incredible pain due to the unexpected loss of loved ones during that time. Two, in particular, were taken from their young families undeservedly soon. It may be little comfort to those grieving, but each of them lived a life of faith and powerful testimony, leaving behind a lasting legacy and impact.  

Faith is tested in other ways, too. 

It’s difficult to explain the level of anguish and heartache over an estranged child, wayward and spiraling downward; consequences of poor decisions come to fruition near rock bottom.

The olive press of parenthood isn’t always a pleasant journey of faith.  Flaming, blaming, hateful arrows launched from the tongue of a broken spirit aren’t easily ignored. They sew seeds of doubt in even the strongest parent.  

Are my own failures to blame? Whose faith journey is this, anyway?

I’ve had both insignificant and epic failures. I still do. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m not so unlike those heroes of faith mentioned earlier. I’ve been impatient with God’s timing; hypocrisy isn’t foreign to me; I’ve doubted my worth, downplayed my abilities, resisted my calling, and questioned God’s direction.

And if ever a person personified their biblical namesake, it’s this David.

I long for the ‘good old days’, but as I pointed out in the preview to this article, maybe the good old days weren’t all that great either. Still, times certainly seemed simpler then.

I think it was Jimmy Buffett who said that living well is the best revenge. But vengeance isn’t ours to wield and many of us have some letting go to do.

But I see his point.

Living well with a faithful heart, despite our proclivity to stumble, may help today’s days be the good old days we seek.

Trust in the trustworthiness of God.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Tim Tebow quote retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6900445218035089408/