4th Annual Year in Review

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February marks five years since I started beyondstrength.org. I intended it as a mechanism for personal healing, as well as a way to share some of the triumphs, failures, and lessons learned from a life of military service and public safety. I’m just an ordinary man, but I’ve been blessed with some extraordinary opportunities, training, education, and experiences. Having served and led from the lowest to highest levels of leadership, I’m well-traveled, well-read, I’ve seen and done a lot of things many have not, and I have an insatiable appetite for applied learning. What profit come in keeping these good, bad, and ugly exploits to myself? Reverend Nicky Gumbel puts it this way: “If you have been blessed by God, it is not for your own selfish indulgence or self-congratulation; it is in order that you can be a blessing to others.” How can I not share with others what God has ordained in my life?

Five years in, I think Beyond Strength has largely met its original intent.

Still, ‘exponential’ growth has been elusive, and I’ve been an epic failure at convincing anyone to actually buy the super-cool motivational and marketing stuff. But hey, they make great gifts!

Well, except for that one time at work…šŸ˜³

But growth and cool merch have never been the point, and for a man of faith not much is coincidental. Like Joseph’s perspective after his brothers sold him into slavery, I know God uses even the bad for good…including that which others intended as evil.

So here’s your 4th Annual Year in Review! Social influencer or not, I’m hopeful that the content was mildly entertaining, inspiring, meaningful, helpful in some way, and consistent with my vision for this venture.

Failures & Faith (2/21/2022) – God looks at the sincerity of our faith, not our failures. Unlike us, he accurately assesses our motives, looking at the heart and crediting us for our faith without misreading our actions or keeping score.

Time, Distance, & Shielding (4/25/2022) – Time, distance, and shielding conceptualized the recommended course of action in the event of nuclear detonation. This also applies to other areas of life. Manage immediate risks by creating separation, physically and emotionally; give yourself time to assess, process, and plan; protect yourself by taking cover, erecting barriers, and building resilience until the unpleasantries pass.

Sounds Like Fun (6/18/2022) – Joy is a key ingredient to living a full life. Bonus that often our most productive days are the most enjoyable. Rejoice always…(1 Thessalonians 5.16)

Garage Sales & Garbage (8/13/2022) – Living a better life may involve getting rid of excessive garbage, literally and figuratively. Happiness and contentment are the result of disposition, not circumstances or an abundance of ‘things’. Maybe it’s time to get serious about removing things from our life we no longer need.

Climate Change (9/26/2022) – While changing ā€˜climateā€™ can be as easy as adjusting the thermostat or going south for the winter, acclimating to change isnā€™t quite that simple.

Vultures Will Gather (11/7/2022) – Buzzards arenā€™t the only creatures attracted to death or affliction. Human vultures are often circling around, fascinated with distress and eager to victimize their prey. Be strong, and don’t be an easy target.

Broken Together (12/10/2022) – Perfection is impossible for humans. So why should anyone be surprised when someone they love does something that hurts them? But ā€œGod delights in making something beautiful out of something broken.ā€ (Pastor Don Denyes) The only answer to the enormous mess that selfish, unfaithful, broken, untrustworthy humans have made of everything is a Savior.

FITNESS UPDATE

Beyond Strength is wordplay to emphasize being strong in life means more than physical strength. However, part of this motivational ministry does involve physical wellness (Life, Leadership, and Fitness). Accordingly, here’s a snapshot of my personal fitness efforts over 2022 to help motivate and encourage.

Two years ago I committed to doing my age in push-ups every day, which amounted to about 20,000 last year. Use whatever works for you…five sets of 11 or 11 sets of five. I typically split mine up between two and five sets. I also did 217 primarily ‘strength’ workouts (weights, yoga, calisthenics, HIIT, etc.) and 91 primarily ‘cardio’ workouts (walking/running). It seems like a lot written out, but don’t be daunted. My workouts are typically 30 minutes or less, and I averaged less than eight miles running or walking per week last year (excluding fitness tracker step credit). Consistency is key. I’ve spent decades building a fitness lifestyle, so I know making exercise a habit is what keeps me going. Commit to walking just a mile every day or two, and doing a few pushups or body-weight squats to start. Nothing excessive; knee pushups are fine if you struggle with standard; wall-sits or walking a few flights of stairs are also good. Don’t get discouraged or beat yourself up if you feel unmotivated or miss a workout. It takes somewhere between 21 and 66 days to form a habit, so don’t give up…just start again tomorrow!

Please link to the 2022 articles above, have a look, and consider subscribing via email to this unapologetic motivational ministry. I also encourage you to consider partnering with me by purchasing any store merchandise that motivates or interests you, or by making a small donation. Each store purchase directly supports this site, and 10% of every donation will be given to the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States.

I’m grateful for your support and look forward to a great 2023 together.

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Audio version now available here!

Broken Together: Can Grace, Mercy, Commitment, and Forgiveness Save Your Fairytale?

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Listen along to the audio version here.

Have you heard ‘bad things come in threes’ or ‘the power of threes’ in business and leadership? I often use a ‘three points’ approach when public speaking. Conveniently, three timely things helped bring this essay to life: a wedding anniversary, a song, and a holiday. Honestly, I prefer to set this subject matter aside for another time (or not at all) because I know there are some who will get the wrong idea, be hurt, offended, or tempted to judge me. But my mind keeps returning to it, so I’m stuck like a worm on a hook: squirming around…about to be in over my head.

I missed when news recently broke of an affair between two popular television personalities. Other than sorrow over more broken families, it doesn’t impact me. But it is a public and familiar reminder of our overall brokenness. And conveniently helps weave my three points together.

First, my wife and I recently celebrated 32 years of marriage. If you’ve read the ‘About the Author’ segment of this site or heard me talk, you’ll note I reference ‘miraculous’ to describe the longevity of my marriage. A 32-year marriage is somewhat statistically uncommon today. Consider this exemplification: a while back I was catching up with an old military friend. During our conversation he asked how many kids I have. When I said “three”, he promptly and in all sincerity asked, “All with the same woman?!?”

While all that may appear mildly noteworthy, my use of ‘miraculous’ is a bit of an understatement. I’m a complete wretch…which is NOT statistically uncommon.

As such, even though our marriage is still relatively intact, we’ve been through some stuff. Lots of stuff. Thankfully, I am married to an uncommonly gracious and committed wife, and I have a savior who is even more merciful and forgiving than she is.

And both know how broken I am.

Second, Casting Crowns has an excellent song titled Broken Together that I again heard around the time of the ‘breaking news’. Here are the lyrics (choruses eliminated for brevity):

What do you think about when you look at me? I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be. You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand. And we dove into a mystery.

How I wish we could go back to simpler times. Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light. Now on this hallowed ground we’ve drawn the battle lines. Will we make it through the night?

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

Chorus: Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together? If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine, could healing still be spoken and save us? The only way we’ll last forever, is broken together.

How it must have been so lonely by my side. We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind. I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align, and we won’t give up the fight.

It’s going to take much more than promises this time. Only God can change our minds.

(Chorus x 2)

I come from a broken home. Divorce sucks. Many of my friends and relatives ended up in broken homes. I’m the last person entitled to sermonize right or wrong ways of handling marriage or relationships. I’m absolutely not condemning anyone who’s had multiple marriages or children with different parents. In no way am I being critical of past decisions, those made beyond one’s control, doing whatever was necessary to stay safe, or any one of 100 other scenarios resulting in fractured families. I don’t know what others have been through, experienced, or might now be going through. Any one of those scenarios could easily be mine.

I write this based on my personal experiences and past. My experience is that while it may be necessary or even justified, divorce complicates everything: finances, raising children, school activities, kids sports, relationships, weddings, funerals, and even holidays. Especially holidays. The first time I ever heard my dad cry was when I was a child and we missed a family Christmas. He tried desperately to manage everything and make it special for us kids, but by the time he picked us up from my mom’s and got to my uncle’s house, they had already celebrated without us. He was crushed.

I’m not suggesting it’s okay to do whatever we want or to be unconcerned with the consequences of our actions. That sort of moral relativism is as ill-advised as being self-righteous. Sadly, both are as pervasive today as in ancient times, and bring me to my last point.

Christmas is coming.

Perfection is God’s standard for salvation, which is impossible for humans. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, the Messiah. God’s Son born into the world to be a perfect and final sacrifice some 33-years later. Atonement for an imperfect world.

The only answer to this enormous mess that selfish, unfaithful, broken, untrustworthy humans made of everything is a Savior.

I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. Nothing here is intended to be personal or hurtful. No matter what we think of ourselves compared to others, we’re all equally defective. Each of us is as morally guilty as any other transgressor. “Whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2.10); “There is no one righteous, not even one.” (Rom 3.10, Ps. 14.3; 53.3)

Brant Hansen puts is this way: “Whatever anyone’s done to me, or to anyone else, I stand just as guilty. People have lied to me, but I’ve lied too. People have been unfaithful to me, but I’ve been unfaithful too. People have hurt me, and I’ve hurt them.”

Why should anyone be surprised when someone they love does something that hurts them?

Faith is a journey. I suggest the same is true of relationships. “God delights in making something beautiful out of something broken.” – Pastor Don Denyes

Don’t give up!

And don’t miss the reason for the season. “For unto us a child is born…” (Isa. 9.6).

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Source: Musixmatch. Songwriters: Bernie Herms / John Mark Hall. Broken Together lyrics Ā© Sony/atv Tree Publishing, G650 Music, Pure Note Music, Songs Of Universal Inc. View the official lyric video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAvPDgKf30

vultures perched on leafless tree under blue sky

Vultures Will Gather

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I recently read a passage in the Gospel of Matthew I struggled to make sense of, which is not unusual. There are many things I don’t yet understand about God and his word. But I’m okay with that…a divine Creator completely understood within human reason wouldn’t be much of a god, anyway. A. W. Tozer seemed to relate a similar issue when he wrote, “Evils…will seem evils only because we cannot read the secret script of God’s hidden providence.”1

The passage contained this verse: “Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.” (Matt. 24.28)

Coincidentally and perhaps not-so-completely-unrelated, I first learned about Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) in college Spanish one long-ago fall semester. As I write this it’s Halloween time. I’m embarrassed to admit I used to confuse the two very different holidays.

A traditionally Mexican holiday celebrated within the first days of November, Dia de los Muertos is a time-honored observance of both life and death, abundant with bright colors, music, food, drink, and expressions of love and respect to honor the souls of deceased loved ones.

On the other hand, if ever existed any redeeming aspect of honoring saints at Halloween, that’s largely devolved to themes of frightening costumes, dubious behavior, witches, mayhem, and yes…death.

*Not an actual carcass or crime scene

Watch any old western and you’ll learn circling buzzards mean carcasses nearby. There isn’t space here to deep-dive my theological confusion, but it appears Matthew’s passage, like Luke 17, points to the end times and coming of God’s Kingdom. The widespread carnage, stench of death, and vultures everywhere will evidence the judgment.

But wildfowl aren’t the only creatures attracted to death or affliction. Metaphorically, human vultures are often busy circling, fascinated with the macabre and eager to prey on the downtrodden. I once had to fight off a vulturous hoodlum bent on ridding an unconscious victim of his wallet, even as paramedics and I worked to save his life.

And these familiar buzzards: ambulance-chasing attorneys lining their pockets with the currency of others’ misfortune; slippery televangelists milking the last few dollars of unsuspecting God-seekers; heirs historically uninvolved, conspicuously motivated when estates are settled; rubbernecking gore-mongers jamming traffic and compounding mayhem, instead of minding their own driving; or streaming fanatics unable to find anything as entertaining as bingeing the latest true crime show or similar exploitation of human anguish.

Incorrect assumptions, uninformed assertions, irresponsible gossip, careless rumors, and outright slander are especially hurtful, and too often the hallmarks of human vultures in our lives. Unlike the telltale orbit of winged predators, these ‘birds’ are especially hurtful and negligent because their plundering too often happens behind the backs of their troubled, downcast, or otherwise vulnerable prey.

Fortunately, not all are quite so iniquitous. Like colleagues circling your office or siblings dive-bombing your bedroom ready to snatch whatever goods and chattels might be up for grabs upon your departure. Of course, it’s possible you’ve just overstayed your welcome and they’re just waiting for the smelly log jam of ‘dead wood’ to clear…

Vultures will gather. So what’s a cadaver to do?

  1. Live. One sure way not to be a target of vultures is to not be dead. Be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually alive. Stay busy. Exercise, go for walks, read, pray, listen to music, sing, dance. Enjoy life and appreciate God’s beauty in people and the world.
  2. Love. Few people, even buzzards, wake up in the morning determined to hurt others. Maybe they’re oblivious to the pain they cause, or they just don’t care. Either way, that’s their issue…not yours. We have no idea what may be going on their life or the personal demons they fight. Maybe it’s divorce, addiction, abuse, illness, death of a loved one. Instead of being just another angry bird, be kind and compassionate. There’s a local business nearby that routinely employs people down on their luck or with checkered pasts. Affectionately referred to as ‘reclamation projects’, they help people when everyone else has given up on them. Second chances are part of their organizational culture and something we can all learn from. Everyone stumbles. Instead of throwing the ‘baby’ we once esteemed out with the bathwater, remember and appreciate all the positive things they’ve done. Just love them and give them the chance to keep doing great things.
  3. Laugh. Don’t take yourself so seriously…laughter is good medicine! Jump in a pile of leaves, play games, dress up for Halloween. A youthful heart beats strong and crow’s feet are much more attractive from smiling than stress.
  4. Learn from the goose. Buzzards are solitary, opportunistic predators. Geese, on the other hand, fly together, share responsibility for leading the flock, and care for one another when sick or wounded. That’s leadership 101…and pretty good relationship advice, too.
  5. Lean into God’s hidden providence. It’s easy to set our faith aside when things are going well, but the time to become acquainted isn’t in the midst of catastrophe. Seek to know God better now, and more will be revealed; in good times and bad. Walk by faith, not by sight…God is in control.

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

The vultures didn’t mind the slow service.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/top-ten-day-of-dead-mexico

https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween

1Jeremiah, David (2014).  Quest devotional seeking God daily. San Diego, CA: Turning Point.

Climate Change

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A recent sermon at church was a continuation in Hebrews 12. I had my ‘travel Bible’ with me that day. It’s been all over the world with me, and is not unlike me: simple, old, and tattered. Edges frayed, falling apart, and the binding is held together with duct tape. It’s time for a change.

Simple. Old. Tattered. Essential.

One theme of Hebrews 12 is restructuring one’s life around the ongoing purposes of God. In other words, to organize differently, convert, change. The author also writes of running the race of faith with perseverance and gaining strength and maturity through trials, pain, or hardships that ultimately result in “a harvest of righteousness and peace…”.

Excluding the economy, I certainly don’t assess retirement thus far as pain, hardship, or trial. But while the perpetual pulse of stress is gone, I haven’t felt quite ‘at peace’ as I expected. Restless sleep and trouble relaxing persist, as does anxiousness and feeling unsettled. A brief ‘honeymoon period’ of bliss has passed. I even relapsed into some edginess, which was “sorely missed”…by no one.

I’m reluctant to attribute my disquietness to a single source. I imagine instead it’s a combination of factors acclimating to the changing season of my life. But if I’m being honest, a work issue that lacked closure, and now impacts more than just its own disposition, has leveraged hard against a pleasing adjustment to retirement.

If you’re reading this, you know beyondstrength.org is a ‘motivational ministry’. My mission is to provide encouragement, make positive change in my life, help others do the same, and make the world a better place. I even doubled-down in my last article about my desire is to live humbly without entitlement to anger or offense. To be unoffendable, as Brant Hansen calls it.

Ironically, the issue above involves a situation where I offended someone. It wasn’t intentional or malicious. In fact, I wasn’t even aware until being told, secondhand, that a complaint was made. My heart aches knowing I unwittingly hurt someone, made worse by never having the chance to address the matter directly or otherwise make it right.

While human nature tempts me to take it personal or question the timing and motive, Brant Hansen reminds me that “We simply can’t trust our judgments of others. We don’t know what they’re really thinking, or their background, or what really motivated whatever they did.” So why spend time, effort, or emotional energy on things outside our control?

But God is in control. And he sees things we donā€™t.

We only see what’s in front of us…the here and now. God sees the ‘whole parade’ (as says the Go Fish song).

But I’m not going to lie…this hurts. A lot.

I know who I am and what I stand for. Despite my shortcomings, I work hard to be a source of blessing and edification to others. Some don’t always see it that way, and that’s ok; I don’t know someone else’s private motives or what’s in their heart. It’s not my job to judge motives, anyway.

My job is to find significance and satisfaction in my relationship with God, rather than in the approval or admiration of others.

Still, I can’t make people like or respect me. And in some cosmic conspiracy against my emotions, I actually care what people think about me.

Long ago, on a page of that tattered Bible, I had written “Maturity is the result of how we respond to trials, not the trials themselves.”

I certainly haven’t arrived yet, but I’ve made considerable progress responding to trials in my life. I’m not the same man I was. I also know God’s not finished with me yet.

In his book The Men We Need, Brant Hansen shares an applicable quote from Greek philosopher Heraclitus: “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

Another philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, astutely (albeit harshly) wrote this gem: “You are an old man…so no longer be pulled by the strings like a puppet…no longer either be dissatisfied with your present lot, or shrink from the future.”

Iā€™m thankful for where God has me right now, and ready to adjust to whatever he has for me next.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Persecution is painful; it wounds both body and soul.

But I refuse to let a dubious blip on the ending credits of my career overshadow an entire life of serving others with courage, honor, dignity, and respect.

And for those who judge me differently because of the blip, there’s a relevant passage in the Gospel of John…something about casting stones.

Changing ‘climate’ can be as easy as adjusting the thermostat or going south for the winter. I’ve found acclimating to change isn’t quite that simple. Accordingly, seeking God and growing stronger, wiser, and more faithful in retirement is my climate change strategy.

God is good. I trust him. And I believe he’ll sort it all out and set things right in the end.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalms 27.14

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Hansen, Brant (2022). The men we need. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.

Hansen, Brant (2015). Unoffendable. Nashville, TN: W Publishing Group. 

Robertson, Donald (2020). Meditations the philosophy classic (based on The Thoughts of Emperor M. Aurelius Antoninus, translated by George Long). West Sussex, UK: Wiley

Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Franzel / Troccoli / Wirkowski Parade lyrics Ā© Bird Wins Publishing, Capitol CMG Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group