3rd Annual Year in Review
After initially penning pretty much a novel just as introduction, I decided to pour my glass half-full and save the bellyaching opening for a future essay of its own. I’ll instead focus on this summarized recounting of another year’s worth of life-changing blatherings. I encourage you to link to each article for a closer look (audio versions available within). I also encourage you to check out the new Beyond Strength merchandise store!
Six Foot Cup: “I grieve for what our country has become. No longer a shining example of democracy to the world, we have lost a common sense of dignity and respect. Peaceful protests are one thing. But antagonism has led to months of destructive civil unrest, disobedience, death, and millions in damages. The U.S. is supposed to be the world’s democratic leader. Now we look like a dysfunctional junior high school. Our political ‘leaders’ and elected officials have cast aside statesmanship, diplomacy, and decorum in favor of hissy-fits and name-calling. Taking credit or blaming others for something clearly beyond anyone’s complete understanding takes precedence over doing the right thing.”
This article was equal parts venting and encouragement. It ultimately suggested the socially distanced coffee meetup to battle social isolation ongoing at the time.
“There’s nothing quite like sitting down with a friend. Self-care, buddy-check, confessional, solving world problems, venting. Whatever the reason, it’s good and necessary. I love my alone time…but I need people too! Bonus when it’s without agenda or drama or judgment or problems that need solved.”
God is in control. We are not God. Be wary of those who think they are.
Least Bad Option: This article is largely about attitude, motivation, and inspiration. A quote from Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow summarizes: “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”
I met Greg, an amputee, at the gym while vacationing in Mexico. The ‘least bad option’ had to do with his decision to have his damaged lower leg removed after failed attempts to salvage it. What impressed me most about Greg (humility and a positive attitude), relates well to Sparrow’s quote and everyday life. “I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going.” – Greg
Walls and Window Dressings: This one dove deep and is difficult to summarize. It’s about being real, not hiding behind a curtain of double standards or camouflaging your duplicity.
“Never value anything as profitable to yourself which shall compel you to break your promise, to lose your self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to behave hypocritically, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains.” – Marcus Aurelius (Emphasis added)
”Everything is permissible” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible” – but not everything is constructive.” (1 Cor. 10.23)
Moral relativism isn’t the answer. Be wary of leaders blind or unconcerned to the impact of their actions.
Paradoxical Conflictions: This is another one that ran deep and isn’t served well in summary. In short, paradoxical refers to something with two meanings that don’t make sense together: or a contrary opinion. The subtitle of this blog, Finding Strength in Weakness, is an example.
Conflict generally refers to a fight or strong disagreement.
Combined, this article attempts to resolve inner conflict and related paradoxes I feel as a man of faith, usually surrounding interpretations of biblical commandments versus personal convictions.
Making matters worse, it isn’t uncommon for so-called pillars of the church to be most rigid in their convictions. And the first to confuse them for commandments. You may just need to go read this one…
Memorial Day: Lest We Forget: “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother;” – Shakespeare, Henry V, Act IV, Scene 3.
Remember the fallen…Memorial Day and every day.
Do You Like Me? Yes No: Today’s success is often measured in followers, likes, and comments. I haven’t cracked that code, so I can’t help doubting myself or the value of Beyond Strength at times. I want what I do to be relevant and useful. I want to make a difference. It would be nice to be liked.
But as much as I yearn for affirmation, my worth doesn’t come from what I do or how many likes I get. And yours doesn’t either. Our worth comes from God.
Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes: I found myself wondering if this romper-room dance was really a fun way to teach basic anatomy to children, or just a song about getting old?
Adulting can be depressing and overwhelming, but we can learn a lot from what we did as kids. Use this as a motivator to do things to improve your physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological, and social well-being.
Even if it means running through the motions of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes a couple times.
Remembering 9/11: Last year marked the 20th anniversary of the September 11th attacks.
Never forget…
Slow Down: “Just slow down. Trust me, it’ll still get done…you’ll still get there.” – Bruce
Slow down, take it easy, and give this one a read.
Finishing Well: With retirement rapidly approaching, I want to finish well. My good friend and fellow short timer said, “We only end on a low note if we allow it.”
Finishing well means setting aside grievances, knowing what I can and cannot control, and adjusting my attitude accordingly.
Attitude and actions are completely within our control.
Keep doing great things!
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Shakespeare quote retrieved from: http://shakespeare.mit.edu/henryv/henryv.4.3.html
Coming Soon: Slow Down
Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes
Do you remember ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes‘? Details are a bit sketchy as to origin, but it seems most commonly associated with Sesame Street in recent history. Considering my advanced years, vague recollections of doing the song and dance as a youngster, and leading my children and other church kids in this whimsical time-killer, I’m certain its roots are long ago.
There isn’t much doubt this nursery-rhyme-variety, body-part-identifying dance revolution has been used countless times to help little ones burn off energy, distract, entertain, and teach where their head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, and nose are located.
I now find myself wondering if this romper-room cavorting is a fun way to teach basic anatomy, or really a song about getting old?
Of the 90 or so articles I’ve published, I’m sure I’ve discussed all these people-parts in the context of aging or related to life, leadership, and fitness in some other way. But let me bottom-line some jagged points here that come to mind for each that perhaps people of all ages can take from the unintentional swipe this kids song takes at my aging, aching, trichotomy of weakness (body, mind, spirit).
Head: migraines, vertigo, male pattern baldness, thought life, insecurity, self-esteem, vanity, trouble focusing, inevitable senility.
Shoulders: shouldering my share of the work, vaccination scars (from a time there was much less controversy about getting one), proper development of, proper care for, arthritis from injury and overuse, physical therapy, inevitable surgery, and of course the Beyond Strength logo.
Knees: knobby, achy, creaky, crackly, scrapes, scars. But most of all, a need to spend more time on them in prayer and apology.
Toes: part of our feet, which should be going into all the world and making it a better place. I’m thankful to have reasonably presentable paws, but not everyone does. Some old-timers’ hooves show (and feel) the wear and tear of a lifetime spent clomping around on them. Take care of your feet (and your toes); they will thank you for it. Others will also appreciate it, especially if you’re one to wear sandals or go barefoot.
Eyes: itchy, watery, bloodshot, bags under, astigmatism, inevitable need for ‘readers’. Most importantly, their connection to thought life. Consider this, for one…”If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.” (Matt. 5.29). Read the verse prior for context. On the plus side for a guy like me, the obvious brutality of the phrase surely excludes its literal translation. But the implication is clear. Look, God created countless beautiful things, women among the loveliest in my opinion. But don’t dwell. Appreciate their beauty and move on. Easier said than done…trust me, I know.
Ears: eavesdropping, protruding, ringing, diminished hearing, gravity and time’s lengthening effect, propensity to listen to or repeat the wrong things. Can you hear me now?
Mouth: see above. The mouth is one of the harshest and most weaponized of physical features. Once uttered, words can’t be undone. The mouth can equally affirm or destroy. Take it from someone who has been unfortunately good at both. Use yours wisely, kindly, lovingly.
Nose: first and worst is failure to recognize one’s own stench. Allergies, reddening, gravity and time’s lengthening effect, obvious target for blemishes, acne, and carcinoma. Beware digging for gold, especially when sitting in traffic.
I don’t think this made as much sense here as in my head when contemplating this article. But here’s the thing…we can learn a lot from what we did as kids. Age, experience, responsibilities, stress, the effects of aging, seeing what we do and are capable of when left to our own devices, and adulting in general can be depressing or overwhelming.
Use this as a motivator to do some things to improve your physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Even if it means running through the motions of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes a couple times.
It’s also good to remember old Sunday school songs like ‘O Be Careful Little Eyes’ or its more recent and powerful mashup ‘Slow Fade’ by Casting Crowns. Considering my own shortcomings and tendencies highlighted above, I should probably just play this on repeat. All day.
Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you
That are sure to follow
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise
The end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises
Lead broken hearts astray
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinkin’
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinkin’
It’s a slow fade
When you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade
When black and white have turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see
Source: Musixmatch. Songwriters: John Mark Mark Hall
Slow Fade lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, My Refuge Music
(Some repeat choruses omitted for brevity)
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes (Video Preview)
Motivation Monday
Least Bad Option
If you stumbled across this article assuming it’s about the election or the last six months of political idiocy, it’s not. It’s actually about attitude, motivation, and inspiration. But keep reading! I’m certain you’ll find value, enjoyment and maybe even some parallels.
Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow is quoted saying “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” It’s just coincidence that I was on the Caribbean coast of Mexico when the substance of this article emerged.
Being in Mexico resulted from a canceled cruise, but I wouldn’t call it a bad option. The weather, accommodations, surroundings, sustenance, and company were near-perfect. Conversely, as I write this it’s a snowy and windy nine degrees…to say I’d rather be back in Quintana Roo is an understatement. Nonetheless, as I try to warm my icy toes and glance out at blowing snow, I think back to a walk on the beach just a week-and-a-half ago.
Like some of you, I people-watch. Most anyone in the profession of arms will tell you people watching is not just a clumsy excuse husbands use when their eyes wander. For those trained to observe and expected to respond when things go bad, being on ‘constant alert’ becomes hard-wired and perpetual. I suspect it’s why many us us struggle to rest, unwind, or relax…especially in public spaces.
As I sought to ‘unwind’ on the beach, I noticed an athletically well-put-together, short-haired, middle-aged man smoothly striding the Mexican sand with stoic confidence. Were it not for wearing shorts, I would never have noticed his prosthetic lower left leg. The way he carried himself and combination of physical attributes convinced me he was a fellow combat veteran who’d paid a higher price than most. A chance meeting in the gym would later confirm my instant assessment was completely incorrect. But my new friend turned out to be no less impressive and inspirational.
I’ve built a notable gym and enjoy working out at home. I’m thankful to be self-motivated enough to consistently do so alone, but I don’t begrudge those who patronize gyms and derive motivation from it. In fact, it’s long been my desire to open one. But I can do without the posturing testosterone-festivals at some public gyms, where genetically ‘gifted’ beefcakes preoccupied with impressing others look down their flaring nostrils at average guys like me. Still, I sometimes find inspiration there. Mostly from humble, hard-working hard-gainers, unconcerned with attention-grabbing mating rituals. Such was the case with Greg.
He was there to work; harder than most. The fact that he is an amputee made no difference, yet made all the difference. I watched Greg’s presence raise the level-of-effort throughout the gym, mine included. By the time I introduced myself, he was cooling down on a recumbent bike, still sweating more than me. I thanked him for the inspiration and asked, “Was it one of the three ‘Cs’ – cancer, combat, childhood injury?”
There was no hint of annoyance with my imposition, nor hesitation with his answer. He smiled and replied “You forgot diabetes and motorcycle crash. Those are the two I get most often.”
It was a motorcycle crash; broadsided by a car that ran a red light.
Greg freely shared his story there in the gym, and poolside as we chatted off and on the next few days. I quickly came to appreciate and respect his disposition, the human being he is, and what he does to counsel others who’ve suffered catastrophic injuries.
In his book Call Sign Chaos, Jim Mattis quotes a writing by President Thomas Jefferson that reads, “What is good in this case cannot be effected. We have, therefore, only to find out what will be least bad.” According to Mattis, Jefferson was speaking of how to deal with England in 1807.
The context is clearly different, and I don’t presume to speak for Greg. But in my conversations with him, I understood that for three years he underwent recommended surgeries in attempts to preserve his damaged limb. He told me having it removed was one of the best decisions of his life. In his case the ‘good’ could not be effected. His lower leg and foot, despite being ‘preserved’, did not function properly. Amputation, while perhaps the ‘least bad’ option to him at the time, ultimately became the best solution. It’s tough to argue that truth when you see Greg walking down the beach, jumping in the pool, or out-sweating others in the gym. By the way, he still loves to waterski.
Truth is, I wasn’t most stirred by how Greg carried himself, his impressive physical shape, or even his tolerance of a stranger interrupting his workout to ask personal questions. It was his humble spirit and positive attitude. I noted many nuggets of wisdom as we talked, but the one that stuck with me most went something like this: ‘I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going’.
Well said, Greg. And well-lived. I hope to go skiing with you in South Texas sometime.
Keep doing great things!
Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.
Mattis, J.N. & West, F.J. (2019). Call sign chaos. New York, NY: Random House.
2nd Annual Year in Review
As the calendar turned two years ago I quoted David Jeremiah, who wrote: “A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others. Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” The world has been hurting, and many suffered greatly in 2020. Maybe that quote would be better served to start 2021.
The premise behind beyondstrength.org is that strength is more than just being physically strong. It’s also about finding strength in weakness, and helping others get strong, be strong, and stay strong. Thank you, 2020, for proving that premise to be necessarily self-evident.
There’s no sense lamenting the things here we’ve lived ad nauseam the past 10 months via revolving news networks. Instead, I will continuing the fledgling tradition of recapping my blatherings from the past year.
Surely you read, enjoyed, related to, and benefited from all of my writings the last 12 months?! On the outside chance you missed any of these ‘life-altering’ posts, here’s a summary of Beyond Strength articles from the dumpster fire of a year called 2020.
Cause for Delay (video): Starting the year already behind schedule, I bought time by sending a video update from the island of Lesvos, Greece. I was there with a short-term mission team providing humanitarian support to refugees at Moria Camp. It was an amazing experience and added valuable context to my life experience and walk of faith.
The Leadership T.R.A.P.: The article used the acronym to compare and contrast Task versus Relationship focused leaders and Authority versus the Power-focused leader. Tasks tend to be one-dimensional…just get it done. But tasks and overall mission are best accomplished when relationships built of genuine care for your people come first.
Free Samples of Forgiveness: I get bogged down dwelling on my mistakes or how I’ve been wronged by others. Counselors call that ruminating. My struggles in this area are rooted in difficulties accepting and granting forgiveness. I’m committed offering forgiveness more freely and being grateful for forgiveness I’m granted. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6.14-15
March Forth: What better month than March to march forth toward fulfilling your purpose, achieving your goals, or making the world a better place? I suggested some ideas like starting a blog or other venture; starting a reading program; volunteering; or getting your fitness goals on track. How did you do?
Well That’s Fabulous: Chances are you’ve seen or heard the abbreviation ‘wtf’. If seeing it makes you uneasy, don’t be. It stands for Well That’s Fabulous. WTF was a discussion about the disturbing trends being witnessed within the pandemic. This is an unprecedented crisis; no one person, organization, or government has all the answers. People should stop blaming others; stop trying to advance personal and political agendas; stop arguing about who should have done what, when; and stop trying to be an infectious disease, economics, supply chain, business, or political expert. Instead, start being more caring, compassionate, cooperative, humble, and kind.
Conspiring for Good: Election interference and virtually everything surrounding COVID-19 generated rife theories of conspiracy or malfeasance that continue to thrive. Whether conspiracy theories do more harm than good or serve to help maintain proper balance in the world, it can take years for the truth to be revealed…and even then there will be those who doubt. Conspiracies make for great entertainment, but also cause great divisiveness. Commit to conspiring to do good.
Be the Solution, Not the Problem: Here were a few ideas I shared to be more of a solution than a problem.
- Make room for God in your life. When we understand our own unworthiness compared to a Holy God, we tend to be less of a problem for others.
- Stop claiming the misfortunes of others as your own in some attempt to justify living however you want, or as an excuse for your own bad behavior. “Let your light shine before others…” (Matt. 5.16)
- Embrace diversity. Enable diversity to foster and thrive by treating everyone with dignity and respect.
- Take ownership of your mistakes and shortcomings. Owning your mistakes is solution-oriented; blaming others makes you part of the problem.
- Pick up after yourself; leave things better than you found them; say please, thank you, and I love you more often.
- If you see someone struggling or in need, help them. Saying to yourself, “It’s not my problem” is part of the problem.
Heard, Understood, Acknowledged: An essay about the challenges of interpersonal and organizational communication. Sometimes it’s not what I say, but my delivery that sucks. Like other challenges, there’s probably no easy answer to solving communication problems. But I have found timeliness, openness, transparency, and over-communicating helps. Can you hear me now?
Gains without Pain: There’s something to be learned from pain in our lives, be it physical, emotional, psychological, or otherwise.
- Recognize its warning
- Protect the injured area(s)
- Strengthen surrounding structures that are weak
- Properly address and treat the root cause
- Don’t bury, numb, or mask it with medication, over-indulgence, or risky behavior
- Avoid it when it’s causing damage or grief
As we move on from 2020 into the new year, I pray you’ll have a Happy(er) New Year, you’ll continue to follow along, and that you’ll make a positive difference in others’ lives.
“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” – Jackie Robinson
Keep doing great things!
Get Strong. Be Strong, Stay Strong.
