Least Bad Option

If you stumbled across this article assuming it’s about the election or the last six months of political idiocy, it’s not. It’s actually about attitude, motivation, and inspiration. But keep reading! I’m certain you’ll find value, enjoyment and maybe even some parallels.

Pirates of the Caribbean character Captain Jack Sparrow is quoted saying “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” It’s just coincidence that I was on the Caribbean coast of Mexico when the substance of this article emerged.

Being in Mexico resulted from a canceled cruise, but I wouldn’t call it a bad option. The weather, accommodations, surroundings, sustenance, and company were near-perfect. Conversely, as I write this it’s a snowy and windy nine degrees…to say I’d rather be back in Quintana Roo is an understatement. Nonetheless, as I try to warm my icy toes and glance out at blowing snow, I think back to a walk on the beach just a week-and-a-half ago.

Like some of you, I people-watch. Most anyone in the profession of arms will tell you people watching is not just a clumsy excuse husbands use when their eyes wander. For those trained to observe and expected to respond when things go bad, being on ‘constant alert’ becomes hard-wired and perpetual. I suspect it’s why many us us struggle to rest, unwind, or relax…especially in public spaces.

As I sought to ‘unwind’ on the beach, I noticed an athletically well-put-together, short-haired, middle-aged man smoothly striding the Mexican sand with stoic confidence. Were it not for wearing shorts, I would never have noticed his prosthetic lower left leg. The way he carried himself and combination of physical attributes convinced me he was a fellow combat veteran who’d paid a higher price than most. A chance meeting in the gym would later confirm my instant assessment was completely incorrect. But my new friend turned out to be no less impressive and inspirational.

I’ve built a notable gym and enjoy working out at home. I’m thankful to be self-motivated enough to consistently do so alone, but I don’t begrudge those who patronize gyms and derive motivation from it. In fact, it’s long been my desire to open one. But I can do without the posturing testosterone-festivals at some public gyms, where genetically ‘gifted’ beefcakes preoccupied with impressing others look down their flaring nostrils at average guys like me. Still, I sometimes find inspiration there. Mostly from humble, hard-working hard-gainers, unconcerned with attention-grabbing mating rituals. Such was the case with Greg.

He was there to work; harder than most. The fact that he is an amputee made no difference, yet made all the difference. I watched Greg’s presence raise the level-of-effort throughout the gym, mine included. By the time I introduced myself, he was cooling down on a recumbent bike, still sweating more than me. I thanked him for the inspiration and asked, “Was it one of the three ‘Cs’ – cancer, combat, childhood injury?”

There was no hint of annoyance with my imposition, nor hesitation with his answer. He smiled and replied “You forgot diabetes and motorcycle crash. Those are the two I get most often.”

It was a motorcycle crash; broadsided by a car that ran a red light.

Greg freely shared his story there in the gym, and poolside as we chatted off and on the next few days. I quickly came to appreciate and respect his disposition, the human being he is, and what he does to counsel others who’ve suffered catastrophic injuries.

In his book Call Sign Chaos, Jim Mattis quotes a writing by President Thomas Jefferson that reads, “What is good in this case cannot be effected. We have, therefore, only to find out what will be least bad.” According to Mattis, Jefferson was speaking of how to deal with England in 1807.

The context is clearly different, and I don’t presume to speak for Greg. But in my conversations with him, I understood that for three years he underwent recommended surgeries in attempts to preserve his damaged limb. He told me having it removed was one of the best decisions of his life. In his case the ‘good’ could not be effected. His lower leg and foot, despite being ‘preserved’, did not function properly. Amputation, while perhaps the ‘least bad’ option to him at the time, ultimately became the best solution. It’s tough to argue that truth when you see Greg walking down the beach, jumping in the pool, or out-sweating others in the gym. By the way, he still loves to waterski.

Truth is, I wasn’t most stirred by how Greg carried himself, his impressive physical shape, or even his tolerance of a stranger interrupting his workout to ask personal questions. It was his humble spirit and positive attitude. I noted many nuggets of wisdom as we talked, but the one that stuck with me most went something like this: ‘I’ve always believed there’s no sense feeling sorry for yourself…you just gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going’.

Well said, Greg. And well-lived. I hope to go skiing with you in South Texas sometime.

Keep doing great things!

Get Strong. Be Strong. Stay Strong.

Mattis, J.N. & West, F.J. (2019). Call sign chaos. New York, NY: Random House.

The Year in Review

It’s hard to believe that 20 years ago we thought Y2K would end the world or malfunctioning computers would catapult us back to the digital dark-ages. Some even believed that the turn of the century would result in some sort of Stephen King, ‘Maximum Overdrive’ scenario where machines took over the world. With the Internet of Things (IoT) led by the armies of Alexa, Cortana, Siri, and Google Assistant, we’re probably closer to that now than in 1999!

I take great care and time compiling what I hope are meaningful, enjoyable, powerful, sharable essays. Because of that, I don’t post as often as I’d prefer. Still, I feel like a kid who sank an impossible trick shot in the driveway or performed a concerto flawlessly at home, wishing more people would have witnessed it. I really want more people to read, enjoy, and relate to what I write!

So for those who missed any of my ‘life-changing’ posts in 2019 (insert eye-roll and ROFL emojis here), and in honor of the world not ending 20 years ago, here’s a Beyond Strength summary of articles from the past year.

New Beginnings: Breach the new year with optimism, commitment, and focus. Make yourself and the world a little better each day; “A compassionate man does not stand detached from the sufferings of others.  Rather, he steps into the world of the hurting and feels the pain and anguish of the one suffering.” (David Jeremiah)

I’m Rubber & You’re Glue: Like a rubber band, we need to stretch to be most useful, effective, and reach our full potential. 

Stretchy Pants:

S eize your moment
T ry something new
R ead
E xpect great things
T ransform your thinking
C ast no stones
H elp others reach their potential
Y our mistakes do not define you

P ain is temporary (pride is not)
A lways do more than expected
N ever fail to learn something (especially from mistakes)
T reat others the way you want them to treat you
S top giving life to the doubts of others

Friends Without Coffee: Time and distance are no indicator how close a friend really is; I am a lot more laid back when I don’t drink coffee.

Egos & Empires: Great leaders are visionary, courageous, decisive, passionate, genuine, caring, and humble; they build empires of respect, care, professionalism, and adoration. We need more leaders like that so empires of egos and self-serving motives disappear, and those who rise to prominence because they know someone (yet care about none) cease to prosper.  

Discipline of Fools: Lack of self-discipline has major impact on physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological well-being. When I fail to exercise discipline at the dinner table, my physical appearance and health suffer. When I don’t discipline my time, all areas of my life suffer. When I fail to discipline my emotions I get upset, edgy, angry, or unhappy. When I don’t discipline my thought life, my mind wanders and folly ensues.

Out with Insecurity: I trace many choices back to insecurity, damaged self-esteem, or skewed perceptions of self-worth. Sometimes you just have to turn the page to realize there is more to your book of life than the page you’re stuck on.  Stop being afraid to move on! Close this chapter of hurt and never re-read it again.  It’s time to get what your life deserves. Move on from things that don’t deserve you. Don’t spend your days trying to correct the past; instead, let go and let God create something better for your future.

Create Your Opportunity: Commit to a never-ending quest for learning and growth; glean value from whatever situation you face; be ready to conquer giants and overcome obstacles in life; understand you can’t do it alone.  Do at least one thing better today than yesterday; relentlessly pursue whatever you love; do your best and work hard; don’t let mistakes or other people define who you are or how far you will go.

Wreckage In Your Mind: Feed the right beast. Learn from your mistakes, walk it off, and get back to work. Do not go gently into the night…“When your body gets tired, run with your heart.” (Don Denyes)

Entitlement: It’s My Prerogative: Here’s what I’m entitled to…NOTHING. But I should expect 1) Honest pay for honest work. 2) Protections outlined in the Constitution. 3) To be a good human being, because there are more than enough rotten ones.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: We all have a responsibility to be citizens who engage in respectful dialogue aimed at improving our world. It’s okay to disagree, but only while treating each other with dignity and respect.  When tempted to be dragged into a quagmire of divisiveness or disrespect, let that sleeping dog lie. 

Settle Down: Recognize how failing to address primal needs in life can cause restlessness. Embrace the present; love unreservedly; help others; determine and fulfill your purpose; live by faith knowing God is in control. 

Take Off Your Mask: Patrick King says “If you want to be confident, you have to look confident.”  But what if I’m not and I don’t?  Many of us ‘mask’ who we are rather than risk exposing weakness or insecurity. Tear down relationship barriers by taking off your mask and allowing others to be real, without fear of criticism and judgment.

The Heart of Service: Influencing others is the heart of leadership. Some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned came from a few exceptional leaders who, through their words and actions, revealed the character of their heart and their concern for mine.  That is the heart of service.  

Strength is beyond just being physically strong, that’s why I called it ‘Beyond Strength‘. Let’s help each other get strong, be strong, and stay strong in this new decade.